FANDOM




  • I am a writer. I like to write things that are scary or things that are happy and fun to read. My normal stories focus on a male or female protagonist who does things that others like. Some of these stories have the protagonist be the hero of the city or town, while others or comedic and romantic. However, my scary stories focus on the monster or villain of the novel. Usually, the villain is a guy who is mentally insane or just plain out evil at certain times. The monster which is seen as the most common villain in my books are all tall and scary-looking. Then I wrote a book called “The Creature in the Dark”. The creature is like a demon, but only the horns are demon-like. The rest of the creature is mainly burnt-looking and is super tall, about 21 feet tall. This was one of the best horror books I’ve ever written. It’s about this creature who watches you while you sleep. He hides in dark areas of the room, mainly parts where it is super dark like a closet. His white, glowing eyes watch the people as they slept and when they wake up, the being is gone. I finished writing it and then sent it to the publishers. The books were sent to libraries and bookstores, and soon everyone was reading it. However, I forgot to mention one thing about this horror novel. It was written in some old, wrinkling, large book. The book is haunted.



    Every time something is ever written in it, they come true. This creature that watches people is now real. People will think it’s real once they read the book and they will be scared. Their wish just came true as nightfall came. I go to my house and into bed, and sleep. I notice the faint glow coming from somewhere. “Probably the moonlight?” I said. But it wasn’t the moonlight, it was something else. It was the “Creature of the Dark”, the creature I wrote a book about. I thought he was fake, but he wasn’t. He snarled at me. His face was pure evil. I tried to escape but he blocked my way. His face got closer and closer and then, it was right in front of my own face. He almost bit me with his sharp, pointy, white teeth. He snarled again and chased me. The others. They had to face the being as well. They might have died from it. I tried to attack it.



    I managed to stab it, right in the heart. He didn’t die or even bleed. He vanished in thin air, right in front of me. I finally vanquished it but I don’t even know if I did. Anyways life was good until I received a message from my friend. It said that the being was still there, watching me. He was invisible. He never left. He reappeared and then knocked me unconscious. When I woke up, he was gone for good and a letter was next to me. There was also a knife there too. I was nervous once I got to say what it said. I decided it examine it. It was a short pessimistic poem. No not the one written by Robert Zend. It was written by this thing and I’ve decided to read it.                

                                                             “Ever get a chance to live?



                                                       Never in a billion years from now.”

      Loading editor
    • It's been a while since I reviewed one of these stories, so hopefully I'm not too rusty.

      This looks like something I've reviewed before, but just in case it's something different I'm going to go through this.

      The text is bolded which isn't very pleasant looking, and there is too much spacing between paragraphs.

      The first (and longest) paragraph takes up most of the story, but besides setting the story up, serves very little purpose. It isn't a good sign when the set up is longer than the build up or the climax.

      The heart of the story is also lacking in detail, while ironically the stuff that came before it (the part where we are given too much detail about what the writer mostly writes about, and redundantly how the book was circulated) is over stuffed.

      We are told that the book was written "in some old, wrinkling, large book" but are never told how it came into his possession, and while this isn't important, we aren't told of its origins. It's just there and that's that. At least, assuming that the manuscript was written in it, and not just all of the published copies.

      Also, why would the monster just show up at the author's house? I would assume the author would have written some kind of ending for the story, possibly in which the monster is killed, or something.

      The story doesn't really pay off. We are given a long prologue about the writer main character, but within the matter of a minute we are quickly told that the monster is there and gets stabbed and disappears without any conflict.

      Then the main character recieves a text from his friend saying that the monster is still watching him. How he knows this is beyond anyone's guess. And if everything that is written down in the book comes true, why didn't the main character just write that the monster dies (and for that matter himself becoming a trillionaire, like anyone else who would have that kind of power would do)?

      The creature knocks him out, but doesn't kill him for some reason which makes him feel less threatening.

      The concept of things written in a book coming true isn't a unique concept, either. I was immediately reminded of Death Note when I read the part about everything coming true.

      As for the spelling and grammar, they could use a spruce up, and I've noticed a tense swap.

        Loading editor
    • NedWolfkin wrote:
      It's been a while since I reviewed one of these stories, so hopefully I'm not too rusty.

      This looks like something I've reviewed before, but just in case it's something different I'm going to go through this.

      The text is bolded which isn't very pleasant looking, and there is too much spacing between paragraphs.

      The first (and longest) paragraph takes up most of the story, but besides setting the story up, serves very little purpose. It isn't a good sign when the set up is longer than the build up or the climax.

      The heart of the story is also lacking in detail, while ironically the stuff that came before it (the part where we are given too much detail about what the writer mostly writes about, and redundantly how the book was circulated) is over stuffed.

      We are told that the book was written "in some old, wrinkling, large book" but are never told how it came into his possession, and while this isn't important, we aren't told of its origins. It's just there and that's that. At least, assuming that the manuscript was written in it, and not just all of the published copies.

      Also, why would the monster just show up at the author's house? I would assume the author would have written some kind of ending for the story, possibly in which the monster is killed, or something.

      The story doesn't really pay off. We are given a long prologue about the writer main character, but within the matter of a minute we are quickly told that the monster is there and gets stabbed and disappears without any conflict.

      Then the main character recieves a text from his friend saying that the monster is still watching him. How he knows this is beyond anyone's guess. And if everything that is written down in the book comes true, why didn't the main character just write that the monster dies (and for that matter himself becoming a trillionaire, like anyone else who would have that kind of power would do)?

      The creature knocks him out, but doesn't kill him for some reason which makes him feel less threatening.

      The concept of things written in a book coming true isn't a unique concept, either. I was immediately reminded of Death Note when I read the part about everything coming true.

      As for the spelling and grammar, they could use a spruce up, and I've noticed a tense swap.

      Thank you for telling me. I might edit it or let's others (not the people on this wiki) to see it. I've worked hard on these, but the ideas were horrible. I need to stop writing creepy stories so thanks for making me cry.

        Loading editor
    • I don't review stories in the Writer's Workshop to be harsh, I do it to help authors with their stories.

      just keep trying and eventually it'll come to you. Everything requires practice, and writing is no different.

        Loading editor
    • No, its just something you need to do over and over and over again to get even marginally good at and that goes for everyone, and the reason most people fail at it is because most people just dont do it over and over and over again and go through the repeated lacerating criticisms that are REQUIRED to be good. Thats how almost everything works in life. Its harsh but its true.

        Loading editor
    • A FANDOM user
        Loading editor
Give Kudos to this message
You've given this message Kudos!
See who gave Kudos to this message
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.