• Jaki Anderson was the most independent woman you could count on. She was always preparing for the alternative in her own particular fashion. She always got things done on time, and rarely fell behind.

    She may have passed some crisis phases, but she put it all behind her. Now she’s making good money. She has a steady business, a rich husband, and a year old infant. Jaki and her husband, Paul Berg, are frequently over occupied with work. Often receiving exhausting workloads sometimes lasting until 2:00 in the evening the next day. So, unfortunately, they don’t have much time to raise their child as much as they’d like. They keep trying to promise to make time, but it’s not so simple. Their baby boy, Jenson, is frequently cared for by a health agency operated by Paul’s company.

    The goals and desires of Paul and Jaki are what made them so attached to running their Corporations. However, things don’t always run so smoothly. The truthful reality of the fact due to Jakis stress is under exaggerated. She can’t even sleep 4 days of the week. Most of the time, anyway. Jakis Corporation, Pharmaceuticals Crew INC, is usually involved in over due workloads due to CDC national suits and business negotiation pending procedures. Not only that, but her company firms were so counted on and relied upon, that she usually had to extend her lawyers work hours. With additional pay, of course. Some complained;some bit the bullet.

    Jakis mistake was signing an agreement with the PSA(Pharmaceuticals Science Association)In attempt to increase her quota income entirely in the benefit of her whole corporation. The agreement consisted of quota share holdings and stock transfer and management. Getting better supplies and medicine that would rise up quantities of pill selling and more customers-seems like a good step up. However, the agreement is quite specifically, strict. Once. Once did Jaki not live up to company deadline sale standards. It literally tore her company in half.

    Jaki became a mess. She began to suffer from frequently potent anxiety and depression. She was so ashamed of her failures that she decided to bluntly go against her morals and the greater good by cheating. This also can be interpreted as a substitute for loss and self pride. She immorally, slowly, and carefully, began to descend into a drug system of her own, and secretly made her own sales. She got so caught up in it, she even felt like she had to try to make popular illegal drugs legal: more potent in favor of the user. So she experimented with such.

    She eventually lost herself. The worst part was, she knew it, too. She just did nothing about it. She experimented with the chemical compounds of potassium chloride in a potent manner. She mixed this new drug element with the chemical compounds that make up improved properties of ‘Bromo-DragonFly’. She then added a good touch of mesomorphine to the mix. Then even amped it up with a cut throat finisher: nuclear radiation. It’s a formula she’s been developing. The premises is built upon cancer treatment rays. She amped it up by intensifying the main element compound used in the cancer treatment rays. Powerful enough as it is; this is a whole new level.

    Once the drug was completed, Jaki decided to test it out on a druggie friend patient of hers. Both of them couldn’t wait to experience this new drug. Of course both of them were cautious and agreed for her to take a low dose. In Jakis opinion, the dose was almost too low. It consisted of not even 100 ML. However, the affect seemed to be positive. According to her, it was worth the intake: Less amounts of stress. Only she soon lost her limb and appendix movement within a span of 3 months. She was in bed with a fever that grew into a heat wave infection. She died a month later, prior. Thankfully, she was a single individual, as oppose to married. So Jaki didn’t have to worry about charges being pressed.

    Jaki was growing desperate. She needed a drug to keep her in check. She figured if she used a high level of a potent Pavulon, she would be able to almost, completely omit the lethal effect of the drug. She calculated the components of the chemical compounds of the two drugs. She needed a solution. She took 38 ML, just in case. She found the sensation was wonderful. It wasn’t until two days later, the dose took high affect. The drug rendered her delirious. So when she heard the news about her friend developing pulsing oozing craters on and in her body, all she could do was laugh. She ended up taking 100ML of the stuff, and 800ML of Pavulon. Strangely, even though it rendered her stiff, she somehow became addicted. She was able to induce more into her system. She does in fact have a history of drug crisis, episodes.

    The Pavulon she took was greatly modified and potent. In fact, she was able to inject more. She became addicted. The first 2 weeks were relaxing. Her body did develop a mild sort of radiation sickness, but it was worth it; The Pavulon would take care of it. She had a lot to fall back on. She was prepared. At night after the buzz fest, due to her daily dose, her blood began to boil. It was relaxing. It relieved stress. It was wild. Wild, but worth it. In fact, it got so hot, she needed to take a literal, ice bath. This did bring her comfort, but it didn’t stop her skin from becoming irritated. By the 3rd week, it became unbearable. She continued her intake, nevertheless;Even though her skin was irritated, and itched like crazy. Both on the outside and inside. It got so bad, she actually pierced her skin with her nails; Digging into her skin. She began to get mini craters all over her body; Almost her face. She dug deeper into them the more time went by. Blood and orange puss oozed out of them. Nevertheless, she felt like she needed it more than ever.

    By the 5th week, she had absorbed a total of 1200ML of the drug. Her drug. She tried her best to patch the oozing craters, but they were a great nuisance. She tried thinking of her baby when she came to realize how wrong all of this was. It made her more stressed and desired her to inject more into her body. The craters on her body were huge by the 6th week. It started to become difficult to move. They pulsed in an alien manner. She developed a sedative for them awhile back. Soon, they overrode the sedative. Soon, she bleed an orange, blue, puss. One, the biggest on her forearm, was pulsing like crazy. When she went to sleep, she woke up in agony to find a huge, bloody puddle of puss. Then removed the patch. As soon as the air hit it, an unearthly itch became present. She couldn’t help it: She clawed at her forearm with intense ferocity. She then, unable to bite the bullet, dug into her forearm crater with a knife. She moaned in agony and pleasure as the eyes rolled to the back of her head. She swiveled the sharp knife around her deep, gory, forearm crater. She let out squeals of agony, as well. Her heart pounded with ferocity. She fought with all she had, to not bite into the crater. She couldn’t try, because she knew more skin would be removed: that means a whole lot of blood loss. All it took was 8 seconds more to realize it wasn’t going to go away. After she removed the knife prior to her comfort, the unearthly itch returned. The other craters around her body pulsed and bled, creating a puddle forming under Jaki, little by little.

    Her original plan was to patch up the giant crater, once controlled with the knife. It was way more powerful than she anticipated. She jabbed the knife about 3 inches above the wrist. Blood spilled out in a big flow. She cut into it deeply. She was surprised to find out how easy it was to skin her forearm from her natural flesh. Soon her forearm was skinless, oozing. Blue veins stuck out her knuckles of her skinlesss hand from forearm. More blood and puss spilled into the sink. She still felt the hellish itch burns as powerful as ever, now. The only thing she could think of doing, was dipping and singeing her skinned forearm into super hot water. She filled a huge crock pot with boiling hot water. She dipped her forearm into it. It only gave her a minutes comfort. However, that was it. All her other craters oozed as well. She finally fainted. When she woke up, her painful agony was greatly deduced. Although her forearm was still bloody and skinned. However, she found she still needed more of the drug.

    As hellishly agonizing the experience was, Jaki still thought the doses were worth it. She took five more. Just on the 3rd day, her hair began to fall out. Her craters surprisingly spread and pulsed, constantly. Some times more than others. Her skin layers were getting weak, little by little. They also began to developed their own, gruesome, type Oder. She spit out 5 teeth two days later. Soon, she realized one of the reasons she was subject to such agony, is because she hasn’t eaten in so long, probably. She tried to cover the craters on her face with a skin cover gel she developed awhile back for patients with acne. However, the craters just pulsed and bled harder. She actually used a shaving razor to spread the gel. She accidentally, peeled a huge layer of weak flesh from her cheek and pierced the crater. She let out a painful grunt as nasty, gory, steaming, puss oozed out into the sink. She stretched the split open crater on her face on the skinless area. Blood and puss flowed down from the side of her nearly exposed cheekbone. She realized how she’s deteriorating due to how her wound is very close to her shriveling gum-jaw bone. She bit down, hard. She apparently popped another smaller crater there somewhere. Only this one burned worse. She got the knife, and split open her jaw from the side of her face. Now, her jaw was visible from the side of her face. Huge puddles of blood and puss all over the bathroom floor.

    She then decided to attempt her shopping trip completely covered. She didn’t realize how much worse it got prior and during. She had to flee because someone caught a glimpse of her deteriorating face. When she got home, she went to the bathroom mirror. All her air was gone and her head was oozing craters at the top. The other infected side of her jaw, somehow, was infected from the first and ate away at her flesh there the same. Jaki’s eyes began to bleed puss. Still, only mildly so. She ripped the last of her lower face flesh off. Blood spilled and splattered. Jakis jaw was now hanging ajar with no flesh ports on either side to support it. Jaki then began to vomit some nasty, dark,blood colored creamy liquid from her mouth. It lasted about 30 minutes. She took two more doses by the time she got back from the store. This all happened soon after. She also, somehow, vomited out her left ear into the sink. Her nose spat puss blood liquid as she dug it off until nothing was visible, but the bone Port. More still spilled and drueled down her visible nose cavity. She spread tears. The tears mixed with the puss. Her vision was really bad now. It was only a matter of time before they deteriorate. She tried to eat. It didn’t work. She somehow managed to look up addiction to such substances online, and make a conclusion. She went out with her husbands heavy detective style jacket to buy adrenaline. She pumped herself full of it, along with a heavy dose of the culprit drug. When she returned home, the top of her skull was almost visible, covered in blue veins. When she opened the jacket, she saw her appendix was very skinny due to the deterioration. Blood and puss. A ton. Her ribcage barely stuck out as a rock from the ground would. Her eyes, literally, were now pulsing beads. She coughed up more blood and cut into her vulnerable deteriorating meat layer of her appendix. She removed her heart as it still pumped connected to the vascular cord. She cut the heart in half. She collapsed. She crawled to the drug counter. She removed her liver and stomach as well. She injected the rest of the drug into her brain. She passed out.

    The next day, Paul forced himself in to find Jaki a pile of gory slob, near in the form of a skeleton. It made gruesome, gargling, noises. Somehow, Paul could tell she; Or it, was trying to say, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’. Paul attended her funeral along with all their families and friends. Paul, secretly kept a piece of heart from the sticky, puddy, dense pile that used to be his wife. The piece grew an eye.

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    • Ok, let's start with the obvious.

      There's way too much description of the gore. It makes up about 2/3 of the entire pasta, and it's not exactly a pleasant reading experience. If anything, the visceral descriptions are just going to turn people away from wanting to continue reading. (I mean, vomiting out her left ear? Seriously? Isn't that a bit of an unnecessary detail?) It would be more effective if you left some of the more gory details to the mind of the reader. There's nothing wrong with incorporating a little bit of blood and guts into a story, but I feel as if you could really take it back a notch.

      The spelling and grammar deteriorates a lot towards the end of the pasta. Don't forget to always check over your writing for basic errors like misused words or capital letters in the wrong places. Doing this will make your pasta flow more smoothly and be more easy to read.

      Also, consider forming the general plot of the pasta into an actual narrative and not just a 3rd-person description the entire way through. I would focus more on developing Jaki's backstory, why she became a junkie, what effect this had on her child and husband, etc.

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    • Thanks!!! I’ll keep those in mind!

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    • A FANDOM user
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