I'm in love! Her name is Stacie and she's beautiful. Dark brown hair, green eyes, a nice athletic build and a smile that could warm your soul. I would do anything for her. Hell, I would kill for her if she asked me too. It was Stacie that figured out what was wrong with me. You see, I've always had fantacies about cutting people open. I think of the feel of their warm blood between my fingers as I pulled out their insides. This thought always excites me. I don't do anything about it. I mean I have never killed anyone because of these thoughts. Hell I'm just a kid with a sick way of getting off. That's not a big deal. Happens all the time. I love her and would never do anything like that to her. As long as Stacie is mine I could keep my fantacies in check.
Jan 27, 2000
Stacie and I made love for the first time today. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about ripping her open! What the hell is wrong with me!?!?! Here I am naked with this beautiful girl and all I can think of is how much I want my hand on her heart when it stops. It makes me sick to think of! Sick, angry, and...increadibly excited. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jan 30, 2000
She asked me about my fantacies today. We were talking about the other day and how "into it" I got about midway through. I didn't want to tell her. I couldn't tell her. I just said it was a bondage/domination thing. How could I tell her I wanted her blood all over my body? I love her, I can't kill her. I have to prevent myself from thinking about this any more!
Feb 9, 2000
She's gone. She left me. She said that I don't really love her. That I'm it's impossible for me to feel anything. She said normal human emotions won't register with me because I'm psychopathic! Can you believe that? I love her and she say's I'm psycho! I'm so upset I can barely type this. I have to get her back. I just have to...NO MATTER WHAT
Feb 14, 2000
She came back to me! I knew she would. It's Valentine's Day after all. The day when love conquers all. I have to keep this short. She's upstairs waiting...tied to my bed. She said she wants to make all my fantacies come true. Well ok, maybe not says with her mouth (the gag prevents that) but her eyes say it all. Her perfect green eyes...
Jan 25, 2010
Has it already been 10 years since Stacie? Wow, first love is strange. She opened up so many new doors for me! Oh the memories...It's funny, I commemorate my first love and expression of my deepest desire every year. 10 Valentine's Days spent the same way. 10 women playing the part of my beloved Stacie. 10 funerals to mourn the loss of first love. But it is all worth it. Worth having the connection to my Stacie again.
Feb 14, 2010
Her name was Sarah and she was beautiful. Brown hair, athletic build, and her eyes..........perfect green eyes.
Okay, first, you've some grammatical and styling issues here. Do proof read yourself, or have someone else do it for you.
Second, the plot is kind of nothing; it's too cliche'd and goes on too fast. Having a person who's a psycho with sexually sadistic fantasies is fine as a main antagonist, but it has to be more thought out than this. "I'm evil, I want murder", it should be escalating from maybe just these darks thoughts about hurting others, to actually getting the kid (be it in a fantasy, or actual harm to animals or through fighting) and then you progress to darker things. Also, there should be a sort of a trigger for those violent tendencies, is it anger, or lust or something...
The character admits they're a kid, and then a month later, they're a super pro murderer that never gets caught in spite of a clear and simple MO? nah, that's not how it works. He'd be locked up straight after Stacies. You have to make it more cerebral and sophisticated than this.