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  • Tried a short story with an element of humor comedy. Apologies in advance if the joke's not in good taste.

    chica_muy_divertida216: “You really wanna play, handsome?”

    I paused to consider. Replying affirmative would officially make me a cheat. My eyes darted to Elaine and my three-year-old wedding-photo. Those holy-vows of commitment we’d taken.

    I’d be lying on them.

    Was I really gonna break her dead-heart?

    ‘Damnit, Arthur, move on already,’, my sister Anita’s commanding-voice played in my head. ‘You can’t keep blaming yourself.’

    Anita's right. Elaine was depressed. She got those Ambiens from Craigslist. I couldn’t know.

    I couldn't keep blaming myself for her suicide.

    Well… not entirely. Admittedly, I wasn’t the most-sensible husband, trying to get her to cheer-up rather than empathizing. But humor had always been our common-ground. I played pranks- heck, I even told her favorite-dark-jokes to lighten the mood!

    ‘Why are miscarriage-jokes bad? They never deliver!’

    She always laughed at that one,

    Really, she did! Before her miscarriage, at least. I was just being a sport- she could stomach some dark-humor, right?

    I thought so.

    I sighed. No, I had to move on.

    hello_moonmanHERE: Yeah. I’m in, babe.

    chica_muy_divertida216: No, you aren’t. I’m still wearing my skirt.

    I chuckled. This chica_muy_divertida216’s lame-humor reminded of my late, happy wife. Maybe that’s why I was engaging in this stupid-fling.

    hello_moonmanHERE: LOL. So how does this work? Ladies first?

    chica_muy_divertida216: xD, I’m new myself. You first.

    I considered contesting but acquiesced. One of us had to make the first move.

    hello_moonmanHERE: K. One bratwurst coming right up.

    The chat-box pinged while I positioned the camera over my hog. Gross, or yummy, I imagined she had typed. Whatever. I snapped a dick-pic and hit send.

    chica_muy_divertida216: Thx. I’m not shy but having trust issues. I think my husband is cheating.

    Husband?

    hello_moonmanHERE: You said you’re in college, right?

    Her reply came a few seconds late.

    Yup. I lied. Makes two of us.

    Huh?

    What’re you talking about?

    You told Elaine you’d never cheat. Here we are trading nudes.

    Elaine? Wait, how…

    How do you know Elaine?

    Lied about your pants too. Said you threw those hot, black-johns away. Why did you lie?

    What was happening?

    I see you shaved your wilderness. Sexy!

    The fuck is this?

    We’d known each other since college. You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You said you’d never make me cry. Never hurt me.

    Stop it.

    But you did. With those cruel jokes. And your disgusting attitude.

    I’m calling 9-1-1.

    You’re running. Really, Arthur?

    No random, internet hook-up-stranger was supposed to know any of these things. But she- they did! Not to mention, they had my hog’s picture.

    I was scared shitless.

    How do you know my name?

    All this because I stopped laughing with you? Is that what you want, Arthur? You want me to make you laugh?

    No. This couldn't be...

    Who the fuck are you?

    You really wanna know? Alright. Here’s me. 😊

    Seconds later, a video-link popped-up on-screen. Fingers trembling, I clicked.

    What I saw, killed my faith in humanity.

    I realized it, then.














    My dead-wife, Elaine.

    Had just Rick-rolled me.

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    • While I'm not sure this would work on the site, due to the nature of this place. That certainly got me interested.

      I mean, it's a pretty "cliched" ghost over the internet kind of story, but in a way, I like those. They always seem to deliver for me, you can play with it in a way that can turn out surprising in any scenario: Want it to be a ghost, it works. Want it to be some darkweb stuff? You can make it so. Want it to be an internet monster? I'm sure you could work something out since we're already having unorinc "internet gas". You want it to be the neighborhood creep making good on his seemingly harmless threats? You most certainly can.

      I hate the term cliched in this specifically, because the simplistic and familiar structure of these stories has actually proven itself to be working. Why do people hate them? I don't know. Done right these stories work very well in terms of modernity and some realism. 

      The ending made me chuckle too, I'll give you this much. 

      Hopefully you find a way to post it on the main site and if not, on some other major platform. 

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    • Thanks for the inputs BloodySpghetti. I'm glad that the ending could mildly deliver on the humor side of things. Like you said, this trope has been used and read many times, but I was really excited about this idea (maybe because I'm a horrible person who still thinks rickrolling people is funny LOL) and see if the different kind of ending sits well with the readers. Sadly, it got taken down from the short story contest on Reddit because it violated the no-links in post rule; and I don't really think putting the link in comments has the same appeal.

      As for trying to post it here, at the moment, this is a bit too raw and unrefined for my liking, so maybe not anytime soon. Maybe I'll work on this after my exams to build a proper story with a firm narrative and try uploading this- who knows?

      Once again, thanks for reading the story and leaving your valuable suggestions. 

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    • This would only really work in its current form as a trollpasta, which aren't allowed on the site. I think if you re-wrote it, removing the comedic part and expanding more on the horror aspect, it could definitely have a place here.

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    • Hey, thanks for reading Cornconic. I wrote this story with the idea of building upon the horror, only for a troll element to deliver the final punch on the readers. It's a bit busy at the moment, especially with my exams coming, but I'll definitely try to work on the horror aspect like you suggested after they're finished. Thanks for the feedback.

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    • A FANDOM user
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