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    • THIS IS INCOMPLETE*

    This is a second person story which plays out as a choose your own adeventure/give yourself goosebumps/choose your own nightmare book. In it, it begins with you waking up in an unfamiliar hotel with some friends (if you have any, if not pretend it's just random people) and you begin to get suspicious of your new surroundings, once you here a scream from another room, things just get more creepy. Now let the story begin You wake up with your friends in a run-down hotel with a rotary phone, and tearing .wallpaper. Novody remembers what happened last night. You begin to check for anything suspicious. Where do you check 1. The Bathroom 2. The Closet 3. Under the bed If you chose BATHROOM:  You check in the bathroom, nothing is there if you chose CLOSET. You went into the closet, nothing was there If you chose UUNDER THE BED you are checking under the bed and a message catches your eyes, the mesage says I saw something in the hallway last night, I don't remember what it was but it was not human. You begin to shake as you hear a scream, a person  knocks on the door, you and your friends see he js just the bellhop. He introduces himself with Hello, I'm the hotel bellhop. But you can call me Mr. Smith, we need to leave now! You and your friends follow Mr Smith

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    • The story is a wall-of-text with frequent typos/homophone misspellings, punctuation (you frequently create run-on sentences by not correctly using periods/commas: "You went into the closet, nothing was there(period missing) If you chose UUNDER (sic) THE BED you are checking under the bed and a message catches your eyes, the mesage (sic) says I saw something in the hallway last night, I don't remember what it was but it was not human." You also don't properly use quotations with dialogue), awkward wording, and plot issues

      The largest of the plot issues are that the story is unfinished, it frequently changes person perspective from 2nd to first person, and doesn't really utilize the "choose your own adventure" style premise all that effectively (i.e. choosing the closet or bathroom dead-ends the game unless you expect the reader to keep going back and re-choosing paths until they hit the path you want them to go down (looking under the bed).)

      I'm sorry, but this is going to need a lot of work/revision before it's ready. In its current form, your story would likely be deleted for failing to meet our quality standards due to the dozens of errors present.

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    • I know, I plan on fixing it

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    • A FANDOM user
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