Sometimes I just like to slip into something a little more comfortable...

Just now getting into Creepypasta's since my eldest daughter told me about them. In an effort to impress her I started writing a couple and submitting them to the site. Only one has got through onto the page, but it was the one with both her and her sister's name in, so I'm moderately happy that the world can now recognise them as the evil urchins they actually are.

Despite my best efforts, there always appears to be an undercurrent of dark humour in my writing, but since I have a healthy belief that the world is essentially absurd, I don't think this is too much of a stumbling block.

I've joined the Creepypasta Wikia site since it appears an ideal place to get ideas and some useful feedback on my creepypastas.

My favourite creepypasta is the original Candle Cove. The build up is amazing and so reminiscent of some of the old children's shows I used to watch with the odd puppet characters. Then the bit at the end - still sends shivers down me. Highly recommended.

Oh, and please editors, stop taking the 'U's out of my words i.e. colour, favour and favourite. It's not a spelling mistake, it's English U.K. - don't make me rally up the red coats to come over there and take back the colonies over this. ;)


My Creepypastas

  • The Cold Shoulder - The relationship between a husband and wife is often difficult, especially when it comes to placing blame.
  • Support Call ID: 100156-03 - Sometimes a Helpdesk can only do so much.
  • Something In The Garden - What is that thing out in the shadows? Oops....appears it has been deleted. Ahhh, proves the old adage that there are truly no new ideas under the sun.
  • Dave the Ouija Board - He's got a message for you, but I don't think it's one you'll want to hear.
  • A Scripted Existence - No one likes being told what to do, even those who shouldn't really have a choice.
  • When Gods Blink - Eventually all prayers are answered, but not in the way you'd think.
  • Unwanted Gifts - Unfortunately none of these came with a returns policy.
  • A Promise of the Heart - A creepy poem about love, and why past relationships are always hard to get over for some.
  • A Twisted Path - Sometimes the routes you take through life are as much chosen for you as by you.
  • Have you ever wondered at the mystery of sleep? - These are the kind of thoughts that keep me awake at night. ;)
  • On Hold - Telephone helplines are always hell to use.
  • No Good Deed - Why are there so many bastards in the world?

My Creepypastas - Audio

Since the products of my diseased mind have fallen onto the Netherweb, some kind souls have liked them enough to do audio versions. Of the ones I know about, here are the links:

My Creepypastas - Video

Okay, this one caught me out of the blue - an actual video of one of my stories! Granted, there are some mistakes and certain liberties taken with it, but still pretty cool someone went to the effort to do this:

Two Lines of Terror

Just some of the terrible things that pop into my head:

  • Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. Every time your mobile ringtone goes off, those same wings catch fire.
  • I was woken in the early hours of this morning by my neighbours making a lot of noise. Not normally a problem except I live next door to a graveyard.
  • My wife's lips were unnaturally cold when I kissed them this morning. Maybe I should've left them on her face.
  • "Is there a God" asked my daughter sleepily as I gently tucked her into bed. "There was" I replied softly, as I wiped the glowing blade on the side of her covers.
  • 'The Matrix' is listed on Netflix under 'Non-Fiction'.
  • When you're lying in bed at night and swear you hear the sound of a footstep outside your bedroom door, that's not the click of a heel you hear but rather the right-click of a mouse button as your user changes your stats.
  • Of course you're your parent's favourite child. The previous copies lasted no where near as long before they tired of them.
  • I felt the door open behind me, which was odd since I was stood with my back against a featureless wall.
  • Love stems not from the heart, but from your programming.
  • Lucifer didn't fall from Heaven. He merely picked up the second controller and logged in as 'Player 2'.
  • Your grades at school determine the order in which your teachers eat you.
  • "You sick, twisted, evil bastard! You'll never get away with this!" he spat, both agony and rage vying for control of his words. I smiled and motioned for the men to take The Devil back to his cell.
  • It's not the case that all Doctors' handwriting is bad. The truth is they write not in English but in ancient Sumerian, invoking their demon lords to imbue your placebos with the desired effect.
  • My wife no longer likes my special hugs. She is a 5' 9" brunette from London, England with a degree in Art/History. I, on the other hand, am a chainsaw.

That last one is for Lauren, since it's her favourite. ;)

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