"So this guys is in michigan and is dating this lady. The guy finds out his dad is dying so he has to move back to missouri and his girlfriend lived in michigan all her life and is very close to her family. The guy is pretty sure that his girlfriend won't go with him so then he tells her that he's moving back to missouri. Then the girlfriend asks 'So when r we going?' He proposed to her a week later" -xXSerpentKillerXx
"ITS CEEEB :oOOOO" Ryan
"Bitch please, I go to Clubpenguin.com WITHOUT my parents permission." Swag
"MY LITTLE HORNNNYYY, AAAHHhhhAAAHH, my little horny, I thought being abstinence was everything, my little horny, but now I can't get rid of this urge from my clit..." me
"so a man and his wife are in their honey moon. the woman is a virgin but the man is not so she tells him "im sorry but i don't know how to do this". he replies "dont worry honey, just think of my member as a prisoner, and your private as a jail. all we gotta do, is put the prisoner in the jail". He then proceeds to make love to his wife. he rolls over with a satisfied look on his face. a couple of seconds later, his wife nudges him, and as he turns to see the smile in her face, she says "honey, i think the prisoner needs to be jailed again". they once agian make love, and now when the husband rolls over, he is still pleased but a bit exausted. she then proceeds to nudge him again, and once again says "honey, the prisoner needs to get jailed again". The man rolls over a third time, and makes love to his wife again. he rolls over, only for his wife to nudge him again. he rolls over onto her and says "you know, its not life sentence!" -Pram
She pronounces it "Cleverbutt" which is a new way to say smartass."- BRVR
"Okay, there was a man who was married to a girl named Loraine. He is cheating on her with a girl named Clearly. One day, Loraine dies, and they all attend her funeral. The man goes up and says 'I can see Clearly now, Loraine is gone!'"- Irishninja
BRVR: "UR A BUS"
Me: "BEEP BEEP MOTHA FUKA, GOTTA GET DA KIDZ 2 SKOOL!!"
"I have a dick"- Fappleberry
"I shoot flames from my dick, and string cheese out of my hands" Fappleberry
"I eat with my penis" Fappleberry
"Let's get horny together" - EternalChaos413
Fatal Disease: "You know who's a dick?" Kitten: "Who?" Fatal Disease: "JEAN D:" SOMEGUY123 (not knowing I said Jean): "ur leaf"
"swag= secretly we are grapes"- Penguin11
"Hey wait fatal, so babies AREN'T supposed to lift? Huh... I guess that's why he was such a...cry baby about it!" -Pramirez351
""It seems as though they just pull it out of their ass, and call it good. But, honestly. It's shit" Me talking to Skelly about the shitty pastas.
"Curse this fucking period." ~Lei
"Oh no! A prostitute was beaten to death by her pimp! Thats.... WHORE-ABLE " ~Doctor 52
"Of course a Trojan vibrator comes on" ~ Prince(ss) Platinum
"McSweggie Day. Makin teh werld sweggier 1 big mek @ a teim"- Spoderman
"nao nao spoderman, stahp fukin swarin dats an sin" ~ Gad telling spoderman to not curse
"u ken hont mai howse. but u ce'nt hont mai sweg" - Spoderman
"SANTA IS SATAN ZOMG!!! IF HE GETS MEH COOOKIES IM GUNA SHOVE MY CANDY CANE UP HIS ASS" - Ghettonette
"...But I'm skinny!" "No, you are a troll!" - Daniel Tosh
"You can't make lamps with love" - My friend, who was tired when she made the quote, when I said "You got to make love to the clay" in pottery.
"Oh baby I'll cinnamon your toast crunch" - Maria
"The 40 year old virgin? Sounds like me 25 years later." - BRVR
"Strip Poker is best when you play with your family." Me talking to Neve about Strip Poker
"We got a threat? 'DEATH TO CPW! ALLAHU AKUBAR!'" - Neve
"On the 16th we shall strike the infidels of CPW!" - Neve
"'Because the world's so round, it blows my mind.' - Beatles on Mind fucking." - Me.
"I would kick your ass if you deleted Dogscape" - Callie
"somebody ban somebody i want to say FATALITY" - Superplankofdeath
"Teztykals" - SG
"How about you fuck off with that Funnymouth shit." - Me telling a user to stop with the Funnymouth stuff.
WildViper009: **ASS ***RUINED ****FUUUUUU Me: "I read that as 'My ass is ruined. FUUUUUU"
"YOU CAN DIAL A DICK, FATAL" - WildViper009
"I left my baby in a sealed of room in its cot yet the social worker just breaks through the bastard wall and steals my baby" -Mrchrisrocks talking about Sims
"u fink this is a fukkin game m8" - NonZeroSea
u wan go m8" - NonZeroSea
"hello bolice :DD, some1 named jim is sex" - SOMEGUY123
"MyLOL, a place for everyone to disrespect eachother, no one meets and furniture talks" - some person in the shout in MyLOL.net
"I came home from work early today and caught my sister masturbating with a cucumber. "That's disgusting" I said, "I'm meant to be eating that tonight, now it's going to taste like salad."" - LightningKing
"It's cute for women to wear diapers
But men... ehhh..." - Me: Pure words of wisdom.
"If you forced Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney to have sex, and Paul had a baby. You'd get Mike Rosenberg from Passenger." - Me: More pure words of wisdom.
"why am i breeding STDs" - Castiel's Nipples.
"Here comes another chinese earthquake, ebrbrbrbrbrbbrbrbr" - Jack00t.
"Cleric, damn you and your damn coffee shop or Hawaiian tea kool-aid, I got something for you!" - Me
"Fuck your hugs, real men punch each other in the face." - Jack00t.
"Carl's sexual attraction to llamas, Sheen's hard-on for Ultra-lord, Jimmy Neutron's massive tumor... Really though, he'd start acting all gay when people talked about llamas... And I don't mean gay offensively. I mean like... Really, really raging." - Likferd/The Bitter Cold
"I think they had a few jokes that they ran with all the time. And his two idiot friends didn't have any personality at all. They were just the fat ugly fuck who liked llamas and his shitforbrains buddy who wanted to be fondled by the shittiest superhero ever." - Jim
"So, does a phoenix become steam after it falls? - Mystreve
"michigan is some shithole in northern USA
known for its population of fucking 2
FD, and a moose" - Cheese
"I am quitting this wiki because Callie's anorexia is giving me nightmares and all sorts of diseases that cannot be cured. It has also led me to suicide, I swear to god her anorexic as fuck ribcage is creating some sort of odor which makes people depressed and suicidal, it even transmits through the internet! This proves how thin she really is. Congrats, you 2 pound twig." - Cheese
(* I recommend reading)
- Deathbed Table *
- Psychosis *
- Ted the Caver *
- NES Godzilla Creepypasta *
- TLC *
- I Am the One
- You Are My Sunshine
- No One Lives Forever *
- NoEnd House *
- Dogscape *
- The Comfy and Cozy Cabin *
- Sombrero Wearing Dinosaur *
- Smile Dog
- BEN (Aka Haunted Majora's Mask)
- Mr. Mix
- Normal Porn for Normal People *
- Hypno's Lullaby
So far, here is a list of my favorite movies. Not a full list of them, but you know
- The Rocker
- A Clockwork Orange
- Doctor Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- Full Metal Jacket
- This is Spinal Tap
- A Trip to the Moon
A list of the least favorite movies
- You're Next
- Insidious 2
- Paranormal Whacktivity
- Movie 42
- The Scheme
There was also one where it contains Jason Bateman, or the guy who played Gideon in Scott Pilgrim. It takes place in a Collage campus, where I believe they're trying to get laid or something...
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Pics of Me
Hai. Since my signature song is called "I Am Grape Hear Me Roar" (my uncle wrote most of the lyrics, while I just wrote one sentence). So I decided that I should put a gallery of my OC, Grapey the Grape. Or, as he's called in the trollpasta wikia, Rapey the Grape. I'll leave these types of Grapes up here, but of course. I won't update it. If you wish to update the Rapey the Grape gallery, plz gou heah
4 DE LOLZ!!!