Ahoy mateys! Mi llamo es Karl Marx!

Some Favorites

Some great pastas, none of which I wrote:

  • Dogscape, a wonderful, heart-warming tale of forbidden love in a stark New England setting.
  • Stupid Cows, the inspirational true story of how Richard Nixon became the greatest president of the United States.
  • Normal Porn for Normal People, a factual reference guide to finding happiness through our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
  • Rabbits in the Creek, a nonfictional analysis on the rising stock prices after the 22nd century.
  • The Devil Game, a modern day retelling of the timeless classic: "Sharknado"
  • Sombrero Wearing Dinosaur, a graphic novel about Cold-War era espionage, the nuclear arms race, and my personal hero, Richard Nixon.
  • Aquarium, a .wav file containing instructions for eternal life.

My Pastas

Alright, so here's all my pastas in order of creation (in general, skip to the end for better stories):


To be clear, these are narrations of my stories, not narrations by me. That'd would be silly; I'm a blind, deaf, mute, after-all. If you (Yes you!) have narrated one of my stories, let me know and I'll post a link regardless of how whiny or terrible your narration is.

Something Took My Eyes:

Cross-Section of a Living Man


Hang Up

The Ersatz Cat


Life as a Carnivore

At the End of the Road

In the Court of a Pagan God

Scrap-Metal Soul

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