Levi Salvos

Ahoy mateys! Mi llamo es Karl Marx!

Some Favorites

Some great pastas, none of which I wrote:

Dogscape, a wonderful, heart-warming tale of forbidden love in a stark New England setting.
Stupid Cows, the inspirational true story of how Richard Nixon became the greatest president of the United States.
Normal Porn for Normal People, a factual reference guide to finding happiness through our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Rabbits in the Creek, a nonfictional analysis on the rising stock prices after the 22nd century.
The Devil Game, a modern day retelling of the timeless classic: "Sharknado"
Sombrero Wearing Dinosaur, a graphic novel about Cold-War era espionage, the nuclear arms race, and my personal hero, Richard Nixon.
Aquarium, a .wav file containing instructions for eternal life.

My Pastas

Alright, so here's all my pastas in order of creation (in general, skip to the end for better stories):

The Leech and the Butcher, a story about the power of friendship and importance of equality in the modern-day workplace.
Caribou, a chilling tale about a spooky-scary ghost.
Beelzebub, an uplifting ode to all of god's beloved children.
Pornography Game, instruction manual for a Dyson-538 vacuum cleaner.
Before the Abomination, a simple collection of nursery rhymes pertaining to sexual frustration and mercury thermometers.
Lockstep, the carefully crafted memoirs of my childhood.
Life as a Carnivore, an obituary for that one fellow who's name escapes me.
Something Took My Eyes, a direct sequel to Caribou, contradictory as that may be.
Drinking Spirit, a montage of health and safety advisory labels.
In the Court of a Pagan God, a photographic slideshow of my various vacations taken over the years, including but not limited to: a trip to Africa, a spelunking expedition, and tree climbing.
Gorge, a story.
Scrap-Metal Soul, an encyclopedia entry describing scarecrows.
Hang Up, a super-special Christmas-themed sing-a-long edition.
Frigophobia, wanna build a snowman?
Dumb Luck, a slideshow presentation presented along with a simple timer pertaining to the relative subjects of tricycles, bicycles, and songbirds.
The Baleful Book in Brompton, the first in a series of epic romance novels set in a quaint satanic cult.
At the End of the Road, a pink flamingo, shaken not stirred.
Throne of Ice, a grocery-list left over from two weekends ago. On which you'll find the exact location of my buried treasure. Shiver me timbers.
The Ersatz Cat, an oral-tradition rendition of a folk-tale from Southnorth Cambodia.
Those Who Die Peacefully in their Sleep, an ode to morning time fun.
Infanticide, meh.
Cross-Section of a Living Man, ajfei foa eae epacmepam epcapfma.
All is Calm; All is Bright, a broadway-style production of the nativity scene.
A Golden Sliver, an unremarkable pamphlet of mineral appraisal.
Body, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
A Leak in the Ceiling, don't remember this one

Narrations

To be clear, these are narrations of my stories, not narrations by me. That'd would be silly; I'm a blind, deaf, mute, after-all. If you (Yes you!) have narrated one of my stories, let me know and I'll post a link regardless of how whiny or terrible your narration is.

Something Took My Eyes:

Cross-Section of a Living Man