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Hello. It is I, MyLifeIsAJoke.Exe, everyone’s favorite executable file, back once again to read This is Abysmal: Watch me die

...It was harder than I thought it would be to think of a rhyme for Blood Whistle that would make sense

Anyways, I am back once again to endure torture for the few people that read this! (If any)

...Or at least I don’t see any comments on the last one so I don’t know how many people actually read this (again, if any)

Welp, now to the garbage

...ah, flook it! I’m playing music while doing this to help me get through!

(Yes I said that in an attempt to be funny)

(Goes to Apple Music. Looks up “Thanks to you Song” and starts playing the album)

Here I go!

June 7th, 2012

“I wish I hadn’t unlocked that secret.”

Same here. Then we wouldn’t have gotten this story

“This game will be the bane of my existence.”

Again, same. Without this, we wouldn’t have gotten Blood Whistle

“I’ll try my best to explain everything that happened and what will surely entail.”

It appears that his lines that made it obvious he was going to commit suicide are his explanation of what will surely entail, Yet later in the story he says that he had the intention to commit suicide ever since he finished World Two (he doesn’t even start it today)

Confusing, isn’t it?

“I don’t know if any of you will believe me, but this sick mockery of one of my childhood favorites must be exploited and never be seen by the eyes of any other breathing man on god’s green earth.”

Why are you gonna exploit this if you don’t want anyone else to see this?

Seriously, IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO LOOK UP THE DEFINITIONS OF WORDS BEFORE YOU USE THEM!!

THIS SENTENCE MAKES NO SENSE!!

(Also, funny thing: While writing, “THIS SENTENCE MAKES NO SENSE!!”, the song “Star of the Show” [Fith sing in Thanks to you Song] was at the line, “I don’t see the correlation.” I think that’s kind of funny because, well:

How does apparently suffering from a fluffing ROM and wanting it to never be seen again correlate with it being something you want to abuse for benefits?

And then there’s the fact that you’re using big words to describe everything [even when you don’t know what they mean] and think that’ll disguise the fact Bradley is suffering because of a bad ROM

I don’t see the correlation)

Also, I don’t believe you

Real people don’t suicide (yes, suicide is also able to be used as a verb) over bad Mario Hacks

I even looked it up and found nothing

“And Todd (what I’ll call my friend for the sake of privacy and security), DO NOT send that link to anyone else. You’ll see why below.”

Just tell him it’s bad. Like, not even in a, “So bad it’s good” way.

“I entered the castle stage.”

It’s called the fortress ya dingus. If ya wanna use big words, why not fortress?

Seriously, I don’t even play Mario 3 and I know that.

How? It’s called, “The internet”

“Knowing its only secret was the warp whistle, I disposed of a dry bones before donning the raccoon tail.”

You didn’t have to mention the Dry Bones

Seriously, stop trying to show off your vocabulary

You get most of the words wrong anyways (I guess they got disposed right here, looking at one of the definitions meaning “overcame”, and then looking through the definitions of that).

Also, the power up is called a Super Leaf. You don’t strap on a tail or something, you grow a tail and ears. Don means wear

Here, how about I make a better sentence? “I punched the Question Mark Block, and out of it came the Super Leaf. Mario collided with it, and became Raccoon Mario.”

Also, you can unlock a Warp Whistle in World 1-3. Why didn’t you just replay that level?

“With a running start I was flying above the stage until I hit the secret area. My whole life before I hit up on the arrow keypad was completely different.”

I’m pretty sure the correct (or at least better) way to phrase that is, “My whole life changed when I hit up on that arrow key pad.”

“I was happy. I was normal.”

Are you sure about that?

“I could wake up in the morning recognizing my own reflection, being absolute about my safety.”

I’m not even sure if that fits the some of the definitions I found of absolute Or not

“Now it’s lies. All lies.”

I agree

You lie to us multiple times in this Spaghetti

“I know that as of what happened today, my life will become an infernal hell in which every day will be a futile struggle to retain my own sanity.”

Really?

Over a spooky Mario ROM hack!?

REALLY DUDE!?!

There’s no way a BAD ROM HACK can do that to a person!

“After finishing this wretched collage of electronic dejection, I will embrace death like a long lost lover with open arms. Now to get on with what had come to pass.”

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA- (MyLifeIsAJoke.Exe has crashed)

Seriously, if you want your story to be taken seriously, you shouldn’t put in lines of comedy gold like that

Also, even if the Foreword didn’t exist that just spoiled the Plot Twist

Also, he later says that he had the intentions to kill himself ever since he finished world two. Why does he say he’s gonna do it now? He doesn’t even start world two today, so he must’ve had the intentions before then. Why did he say he had it since world two then? What’s going on!?

“The blocks that lined the wall were a gloomy albeit polished obsidian black. Mario’s skin now had a grayish tint to it, but that wasn’t what was wrong with that picture. The music was a sped up version of the normal “bonus room” theme.’

One: What does the music have to do with the picture?

Two: I looked up the music for the Warp Whistle Room (The Toad House theme), and sped it up as much as I could... and it didn’t sound scary at all. LIAR

Also, from now on I’m gonna copy and paste the parts if the story to save me the time of typing them out

It saves me time

“Toad’s skull was cracked open and profusely bleeding, spilling blood onto the floor and making the room slippery like an ice stage. His mouth was also agape and spewing blood onto the floor.”

Hey! He used words right!

Don’t get used to it

Also, what skull?

I just see a mushroom

“The blood had an eerie, reflective quality that SHOULD have been graphically impossible for an 8-bit game like Mario 3. I walked up to him to see what it is that he might say. What he had to offer is this:

Blood Whistle.

HEAR ITS CRY.”

Ok, now I’ve just gotta bring up the picture that came with this. While I couldn’t find it on the Cjmarch wiki (which is where I’m reading the story from), and I didn’t really want to watch the video, I looked up “Blood Whistle” and found the picture (From The Creepypasta Staff Training Wiki)

Blood_whistle.png

Oh boy here we go

Let me just make a list here of everything wrong with this picture

1: The “Gloomy albeit polished obsidian black” blocks are less polished than the original room’s blocks 2: “The blood” coming out of Toad’s mouth looks more like it’s coming out of his chest 3: In the picture, Mario is standing at the entrance of the room and the message is already up there. He didn’t walk up to him. 4: I don’t really see a, “reflective quality” there. I just see the laziest sprites ever. Seriously, I can make better sprites in Minecraft 5: Probably my biggest complaint. YOU JUST RECOLORED THE ORIGINAL BUT WORSE! Seriously. How lazy. When I make fluffing Undertale fan sprites in Minecraft for fun, at least I make the actual things myself. I build replicas of the sprites basically (flat world on the ground), and then edit them there. At least I have to actually make the thing there first before changing it! But here, it’s obviously just colored over!

“I then ran towards the chest to see its contents. The chest was drenched in reflective, realistic blood of the same type emanated by the orifices and exposed cranium of the poor little mushroom-headed fellow.”

Orifices include butts. Toad has blood coming out of his butt

Way to murder the tension, Brad

If there was any, that is

It’s still not reflective or realistic by the way

“Pressing onward, I ran through it to discover its dark secret. Its twisted surprise. I wasn’t prepared for the following events.”

You ran through the chest. Not past it, but through it

Ghost chest

And I’m listening to GHOST and Pals

(X-Files theme intensifies while a picture of Kennith Simmons from COMMUNICATIONS spins on screen and Jelf the Elf is in a corner)

“A blood-soaked warp whistle ominously rose from what I now believe to be the deepest crevice of hell.”

You could’ve said pit, ya know

Or something

I don’t think crevice really works with this

“It blipped twice as the normal whistle would. That, my fellow reader, was the only normality of what I have played today.”

What about World 1-Fortress? Until you entered this room it seemed pretty normal

Also, fun fact: The Warp Whistle is actually called the Recorder, and originated from The Legend of Zelda

...oh no NOW WE’RE GONNA GET BLOOD WHISTLE TWO IN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA!

“It played a deep tune that I can’t get out of my head as I write this.”

Everyone has had something like that happen to them. There’s a Simple solution: https://youtu.be/hVPff92tkBE get this stuck in your head instead

Your welcome ;)

“The whistle descended, violently striking Mario in the chest.”

Insert “Every time we touch” meme of this visual here (somebody needs to make that exist. There’s one with Nancy stabbing Henry

He unleashed a bloodcurdling scream as it went into his back and out of his chest. This cry wasn’t 8-bit at all. It wasn’t even cartoon-esque. It was the sound of unfiltered anguish, of utter agony.”

Hasn’t Dorkly done something like that?

I feel like they have

Though I’ve just got to say: None of the voices Mario has had are scary. Not Even in Dorkly

“His expression reflected the same.”

Again, Dorkly has probably done that

“To end my experience on this perverse version of something I once loved, Mario was transported to the warp zone of the Blood Whistle.”

It’s supposed to be a scary Mario ROM

Do you really expect sunshine and rainbows?

“I call it this because it had only the cookie-cutter outline of the quaint island.”

So it lacks distinguishing features?

Then why do you spend so much time describing it after?

Also, the definition also says mass-produced and for some reason I just thought, “Warp Zones! Get your Warp Zones here!”

Why

“The water consisted solely of the same blood aforementioned in my encounter with the whistle.”

Yes, because red pixels with no details are SO SCARY (sarcasm)

“Corpses of Koopas and other enemies of Mario were scattered afloat near the shores. White menacing eyes glared at me between the waves, surfacing just to cast their evil glance at Mario (or me, I can’t be sure at this point).”

Well, are they looking towards the fluffing game character’s sprite or at the screen?

“All of the worlds were indicated by their respective numbers, and all of the dots were crimson.”

Because colors are scary somehow

(Serious, palette swaps and blood aren’t the only things that make things scary. Actually try next time.”

“At that point I noticed yet another abnormality, this time concerning the dot for world eight. Beside it were two 8-bit patches of fire that twisted and contorted in place.”

Wait... fire can bend?

I’m actually not too sure

I looked it up and all I got was Last Airbender stuff.

Also, because GHOST:

FIRE BURNS AND THE RAGS ARE TORN APART I CAN’T INHALE ANYMORE

(Holds up Sally.Exe Amy) ‘CUS ALL I EVER KNOW ARE HOLES

“Without me pressing any buttons, the whistle stabbed Mario in the ribs. This cued him to move to the world two dot. Refusing to pay any further attention to the horrors that surely await in the distorted desert, I saved the game and quit. I have played more than enough of my fill for today.”

YOU’RE LOST IN A WORLD FUNHOUSE MIRRORS TWISTED FOR ETERNITY-

Sheesh I keep making GHOST jokes

Also, what do you mean “For today.” If you hate it so much, then why don’t you just tell Todd that you don’t want to play anymore and give him the details and go get therapy or something I DON’T KNOW!?!

Honestly, if I were playing, as soon as I walked into the room I’d be like, “Oh spit it’s Blood Whistle. I can’t believe somebody made a hack based off of that Cringeypasta. I’m done.” And then I would quit the game and go watch Pokémon Talk after checking on Crazy Fanfics the AU

That’s how I’d wash this thing out of my life

Also I’d complain to Todd over text messages because I hate this thing

“I guess that I figured out the acronym from the ROM title meant Blood Whistle the hard way. Despite the horrors that plague this abomination, I will continue to subject myself to this suffering for the sake of all of you.”

Hey look! That describes me reading this!

Ya want big words? How about, “This abhorrent, sesquipedalian abomination of a story that dares to rationalize committing suicide over a ‘scary’ Super Mario Bros. 3 ROM Hack deserves to scorned, mocked, and ridiculed. It thinks that Big Words can substitute good writing, when that is far from true. I have nothing but contempt for this story.” At least I actually care enough to look up what the words mean!

Yes, sesquipedalian is a word

Welp, now I know

and knowing is half the battle!

G.I.JOEEEEEEEEEEEE

Though seriously, why is he gonna continue doing this!?!

I’m only gonna continue reading this because it’s kinda fun to make fun of it. I was only joking about this being torture and it killing me. I was trying to be funny. But if the game is legitimately torturing him and driving him to suicide, maybe he should BACK OUT

“Well, also for mine. It’ll help me keep track of the days, and maybe this desperate attempt to cling to my stable frame of mind won’t prove to be in total vain.”

Your sake?....

YOUR SAKE!?!

WHAT GOOD IS GONNA COME OUT OF THIS FOR ANYONE!?!

IF THIS GAME IS REALLY AFFECTING YOUR MENTAL STATE SO BADLY, THEN WHY DO YOU THINK THINGS WILL BE BETTER IF YOU KEEP GOING!?!

“There are five thousand people that have followed this blog in the two days that it’s been up.”

I’m jealous

Also, DEFINITELY A LIAR!!

“After this pointedly interesting post, I’m hoping to have some more.”

Yeah. Interestingly awful

“For those of you following my posts, read tomorrow’s and share with your friends.”

If they did, you would have been reported for your craziness sooner (One person does later(, And by more people. Then the police would’ve seen your blog and see for themselves how insane you are and you’d be sent to a mental institute

“I need you to expose the stark luridness of this shell of something I once knew and loved.”

The thing I hate about these Pastas In when the person can’t watch a show or movie or play a video game they had loved because of one “scary” version of the game. Seriously, a scary hack of Splatoon 2 wouldn’t stop me from loving the official game. Knowing fan AUs like Horrortale and Dusttale exist doesn’t keep me from loving Undertale (Even with their versions of Papyrus, my favorite character... and then there’s Dustbelief... they still could never keep me from loving the character). Why do all of these Creepypasta protagonists abandon things they love for the silliest of reasons!?!

BRAD YOU KNOW THIS IS A ROM HACK AND YOU KNEW IT WAS AS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY SO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!?!


(Takes a deep breath) And that was Part 2 of Blood Whistle!

This series is gonna take a while to finish, won’t it?

Well, I’ll probably finish it before Randomtale

Then maybe I’ll tackle another Spooky Spaghetti after this one!

If I got comments I’d be able to tell if people want me to do more and if they actually like my humor and- Oh Dog I’m turning back into a pile of cringe who begs people to comment! WHAT AM I BECOMING!?!

(Colorbars on screen)

Welp, goodbye!

Join me for Part 3!

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