Hello! I’m finally back!
Welcome back to Blood Pudding: Hear its Fry (yay Bad Creepypasta joke)
Let’s just get this over with
June 9th, 2012-
“It’s me again. I had a horrible range of nightmares last night that are a direct result of playing this game.”
Well... yeah. Dreams will often be related to what you were thinking of before going to sleep. Of course they’re a result of playing the game: you were thinking about it before sleeping
“Some really weird stuff also went down.”
Probably not as weird as my dreams. Mine are really, REALLY WEIRD.
“Before I get into today’s gameplay, I’ll have to go through them with you guys so I’ll have an interactive record of my dreaming habits related to this game.”
Interactive?... I looked it up and I’m honestly not sure if it fits or not.
Stop confusing me
“I myself am having a hard time as to how they were so close to home, and what they mean for my seemingly inevitable downfall.”
(Groans) Stop being overdramatic. It’s not really that scary at all. When I act all overdramitic here, it’s for the sake of a joke.
And this is coming from the girl who was afraid of Boos when she was in, like, second grade. The thing is, I have grown past that
I have seen the horrors of the Internet
“Before I tell this, I have to let you in on a piece of relevant information. In the 4th grade, I used to play the recorder.”
OF COURSE IT’S THAT! OF COURSE IT IS!
(Slams IPad Down. Tries running away)
What do you mean I still have to do this!?
(Goes and picks it back up)
Welp. Back to this garbage
“Every kid had to learn some musical skill, and I liked wind instruments because of their method of play, appearance, and sound.”
“Such is the irony of the instrument that has caused me all of this grief.”
Irony? How is this ironic!? It seems fitting to me!
“In my dream I was playing the instrument in a dark room.
I was my 4th grade self, just coolly playing Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
Sorry, it’s just someone coolly playing Mary Had a Little Lamb is just hilarious to me!
Also, randomly it changes paragraphs! You’re writing this like a story, not an Internet review.
Either way it doesn’t make it look better, which is what I’m trying to do with this.
“Out of nowhere, I began to cough.”
Yeah I had a problem like that once. I almost couldn’t stop coughing sometimes. That was, like, last year I think
“I had choked on some blood that had materialized within and around my recorder. It covered it, and soon filled it. Blood began to pour in great quantity out of all of the recorder’s holes. It soon began to float in mid-air and hover.”
You basically said the same thing twice and it didn’t even sound better like that.
“A few seconds passed, and then it struck me in the chest. It had impaled me, going directly through my heart and every other vital artery one could think of.”
Well it couldn’t have done that in one... (Looks it up) impalement... I think that’s the word I should use here.
“I woke up, the sheets plastered to my bare chest with sweat. I was completely fine. Not a scratch on me.”
It was a fluffing dream, of course you’re fine.
“As I sat there in bed, afraid of how I’m sure the game did this – or maybe it was just me losing my sanity – I began to hear noise coming from my laptop. It was closed, but a faint muffled humming sound was clearly audible.”
YOU SERIOUSLY THINK IT MAGICALLY GAVE YOU A NIGHTMARE!?!
IF YOU’RE SO AFRAID OF THIS GAME, OF COURSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A NIGHTMARE ABOUT IT!
And for what you’ve just described, I’ve just gotta say that I’ve had weirder dreams! Like the one when I was really young and watched Scooby Doo! and the Monster of Mexico before sleeping. The dream, from what I remember, went like this: I was in the kitchen with family (I know my parents and one of my uncles was there). The I think I went out in the hallway, and saw El Chupacabra in the wall. I ran and hid under this one table. El Chupacabra ran down the hall, past me, but then backed up (like, it ran backwards), turned towards me (looking at me I think), and then I woke up... yeah it just ended there.
“I warily approached my computer, the machine almost looking alive. I then opened it up.”
Wait, about the noise... didn’t Xboxes do something like that?
I never had one but I remember hearing about it from a top 10 list
“It was a picture of a SMB3 Raccoon Mario sprite on a black backdrop. He was chained up by his legs and feet, and the chains reached outside of the screen. The Blood Whistle sat as the centerpiece of it all through Mario’s chest.”
I’ve made scarier edgy fanfictions inside of my mind than that
“The tune of the Blood Whistle played over and over, a loop that only exacerbated the sound within the walls of my psyche.”
Yeah. When you’ve got a bad song stuck in your head, having to hear it even more makes it worse.
This is why I don’t listen to the radio anymore... one of many reasons, that is.
The simple solution is to put on headphones and listen to good music on YouTube, Apple Music, etc.
I mean I barely listen to a game’s audio when playing it anymore so something pickles akaksmsmakakk- (MyLifeIsAJoke.Exe has crashed)
“I tried exiting out of whatever this program might have been but the window wouldn’t close.”
Doesn’t a comma belong after the word, “been” there?
Also, why didn’t you try doing that all the other times!?!
“I eventually had to take out my laptop battery, which didn’t sit too well with my OS. Luckily, I didn’t lose any files. Now for the gameplay.”
If it’s causing you so much pain, wouldn’t you be happy if the files were deleted?
“I was on a weak imitation of the world 3 level map.”
And turns out it was nothing like an imitation so SERIOUSLY, HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT MISTAKE!?!
“The water was none other than blood. Ravenous fish jumped out of the water, looks of primal hunger on their faces.”
Aren’t there versions of Cheep-Cheeps like that?
Those aren’t scary, Brad (If that isn’t his name, I don’t care enough to check)
“There was something off about Mario’s map representation that I noticed right away. Along with his Raccoon tail, the blood whistle was now a permanent fixture through his body.”
Yet in the level I believe it disappears. Either that or there’s more Blood Whistles that impale the other Blood Whistles?
I don’t remember or know or care. This guy’s a Triple Baka anyways (plays song)
“His skin had dulled a little from its prior shade of gray, now more outwardly noticeable. His mustache now had dots of red clung to it as well.”
Insert Sonic.Exe joke here!
...oh no now I have to do that next
“Without my or Mario’s control, needless to say, I was moved to the first underwater stage.”
They aren’t scary on their own
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
“A cherry red tint absorbed the entire screen. This was to be expected, as the water looked blood-ridden from the outside as well.”
What in the world does that even mean?
“I swam down the left side of the level to get a fire mushroom.”
(Spits out Sweet Tea) A FIRE MUSHROOM!?!
“As soon as Mario got it and his outfit changed, he got an evil simper on his face.
He looked at me and said ‘Revenge, yes?’ I confirmed his suspicions and then we set off for the danger that lurked near. The fish cast malevolent gazes at Mario as he swam by, incinerating them.”
THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST HILARIOUS THING EVER!!!
“His normal, happy smile returned. So did mine. The annihilation of the carnivorous critters didn’t last long before both Mario and I faced a hellish dilemma.”
That dilemma was the timer getting to 100 seconds
“There was a large fish with rows of razor-sharp teeth.”
The Spike Bass from New Super Mario Bros.?
“Below him were two power up blocks, one black-looking and one purple-looking.”
Like Amethyst from Steven Universe.
“I assumed that these were supposed to mean red and blue. Obviously there was no progress from this point without finding out what these blocks had in store. Mario’s expression changed back into its gaunt appearance that he has had for the majority of the game. Knowing I had no other choice, I dauntingly hit the block that was black in appearance on the left.”
Didn’t you kill the fish first?
“The fish swam around from its position in top of us and began to tear off Mario’s limbs.”
“By this time a group of fish had congregated around the entire scene. Their laughs were deep and short, registering as barks for the 8-bit sound processor.”
“Mario’s unable body wobbled as he bled out, spewing black across the red.”
What even was that sentence?
“When he finally died, the big fish began to laugh. After a couple of seconds Mario’s limbs re-grew. With the blue block remaining, I hit it to get this all over with.”
This and the next sentence mean he didn’t actually fluffing die
“Bubbles stopped coming from Mario’s mouth. He cried out for help but that only made the problem worse. He sucked in tons of water, his hands around his neck. His face began to grow from gray to blue in a matter of moments. He kicked and fought, but he only wore himself down. Getting angry, he began to incinerate random fish that had gathered in the crowd. The fish began to laugh louder. For every fish he killed, two more appeared in its place. After a while he just gave up. I watched as Mario uttered his last gurgle on world 3, the Blood Whistle stabbing and taking him away. I saved and quit with haste. See you all tomorrow.”
Mario can actually drown in some games, so this fails. The thing is, he CAN’T DROWN IN SMB3!!!
Definitely NOT coming back tomorrow!
Going back to Crazy Fanfics where I don’t have to suffer!
...Even if I just got exploded off of a mountain and fell to the ground
If I could die there I would’ve
So long, folks!