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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!
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There were widespread capitalization (mis-capitalization of words), punctuation (apostrophes and commas missing where needed), spacing (failure to space properly after punctuation), awkward wording, formatting (adding any kind of indentation at the beginning of a paragraph results in the formatting error you saw on your story. Additionally there were a number of blocky paragraphs), and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:10, January 28, 2020 (UTC)
I noticed you recently got a story reinstated to the site through Deletion Appeal. I want to congratulate you and let ya know you're only the fourth person, as far as I know, in the past two years to win an appeal. I happen to be on that short list as well.
I'm not sure how many stories you have on the site, but you can get your very own category when you reach ten. It makes it a bit easier for users to find your stories. For now, I'd suggest putting links to your stories on your profile page if you want to draw more people to 'em.
Okay, well, I guess I've taken up enough of your time, so I'll end this by saying: keep writing and I'll see ya around the site. :)