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Lil' Miss Rarity (talk) 06:25, February 19, 2014 (UTC)


The story really didn't have a lot of grammatical, punctuation, or spelling errors (There were some.) The main reason why the story was deleted were due to some inconsistencies in the plot and the fact that it has a number of clichés.

The story begins by describing him as some other-worldly super powered being (Cliché) with black eyes (Cliché.) that is commonly found patrolling/roaming parks. The story ends with him being arrested put into an insane asylum with no mention of his escape. So Is he imprisoned or is he on the loose? Additionally you mention he has the power to use sounds to incapacitate his victims, but in the rest of the story that is never mentioned again. Was there a demonic pact that happened behind-the-scenes? How did this seventeen year old go from being an ordinary abused boy to a black-eyed fiend roaming parks and devastating people with his powers?

I deleted the story due to a number of clichés. (A formerly abused super-powered, black-eyed serial killer.) These have become so common-place they've found a spot on the list of cliches. I would advise that if you still want to post this that you take it to the writer's workshop and then to deletion appeal, mentioning you have re-worked it and have the final draft prepared (In pastebin to avoid cluttering)

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:31, June 17, 2014 (UTC)

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