My Talk Archive

If you would like to send something private (something being published, or something you don't want the whole wiki seeing) you can email me at:

If you want to leave a message, You can do the normal thing and just click the 'leave message' button, OR you can use my totally original conveniently placed box down below!

(And if you do end up using the button in the top right, remember to start by titling your message with two ='s on each side of the title, and signing with four tildes.)

(First shit stain on the page)

Well, I'm the opposite. I do not think it's ok (for me) to do less edits than I want to. Negativity serves to push me further.

"I swear the only reason you are is because making bad jokes gets you a hard-on"- You sound exactly like my girlfriend right before I threw her in boiling oil.

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 17:42, January 9, 2017 (UTC)

Actually her voice while screaming obscenities at me was quite masculine.

I don't know, there are over 10,000 existing pages and I doubt all of them are completely edited.

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 18:06, January 9, 2017 (UTC)

An inch above the Sequoia threes in the National Park, yes. The effect was rather because the vocal chords were charred. But it was rather interesting that you mentioned snakes (advice: never take a python in a threesome if its entire body isn't in your visual range).

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 18:27, January 9, 2017 (UTC)

"I thought snaketongue was the only one"

Have you not SEEN the comments at all?

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 18:48, January 9, 2017 (UTC)

Queen of the Senile

I was just trying to respond to both of you, so it's not senility, just laziness. ;-) Happy early birthday! I know that Jews have bar mitzvahs & bat mitzvahs and Latinas have quinceañeras, but do pumpkins have any coming-of-age ceremonies? (Note: I'd just love for some random person to see this message and think, "What is this, a madhouse!?")

If your burn gets sick, remember to give it proper treatment- In the meantime, I'll be counting out my old people vitamins. Raidra (talk) 20:12, January 9, 2017 (UTC)

By Squidmanescape About Rollback

Thank you for asking. I didn't really think of becoming a rollback, since I thought, "Hey, I don't participate very much." But I guess I participate more now.

I guess my recent edits haven't been reverted. At first, I thought that the current rollbacks were doing fine. Then I realized that I could just check how the actual rollbacks are doing. According to their contributions, neither of them have been active since December.

I don't necessarily think that I should become a rollback, but what do rollbacks even do? Is it a problem that neither of them have been active since December? (I can't find the relevant page. Do you know what the title is?)

--Squidmanescape (talk) 04:55, January 11, 2017 (UTC)

Man of speed

Sometimes feels like being a vigilante. Like a wiki Rorschach. Just with less beating and murdering.

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 20:09, January 11, 2017 (UTC)

Some Quick Advice

I just need some advice from you as the admin of this page. I know oyu have probably run into your share of shit pastas and crappy pastas over the years. I'm sure you have probably read my creepy pasta Raising Hell Chapters 1,2, and 3 part 1 and I'm just wondering why my story hasnt gotten the attention it deserves. I worked hours and hours writing all thirty chapters of this story and nobody has read it much. So I am just looking for some ways to make it popular like Jeff the killer or Slender man. Thanks.

Love AmazingLover96 (talk) 01:28, January 12, 2017 (UTC)William Schoene

Dark humor

Hey buddy, I did a dark humor once. It is still one of my favorite narrations. let me know what you think. Do I have the comedic touch? KillaHawke1

Well, if it works out, I'd be willing to do a narration of it as long as it fits my site guidelines KillaHawke1

Frank's Remiss Riposte

Hey there boss! I'm doing fine now, thanks for your asking. I'm going to be making a blog post soon about my prolonged absence, and then I'll be easing back into wiki stuff after that. Just a bunch of serious/significant real life things have been going on around me and I felt it necessary to pause wiki activity for a while. As I said, I'll explain it more in that blog post.

But yeah, thanks again for your concern. Take care and I'll see you around.

"Girls will run around in your head, till you wished you liked boys instead!" 02:22, January 14, 2017 (UTC)

Nah, there's really nothing for that. That being said, reverting vandalism as a qualifier isn't necessarily set in stone so it's not essential. Strong/correct edits are generally more looked on. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:40, January 16, 2017 (UTC)
There's no real template that I've come across, but like I said, reverting vandalism is good and all, but for rollback we're always looking for consistent/frequent good edits over a period of time. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:45, January 16, 2017 (UTC)
We used to have another position VCROC that was like a mini-admin (could delete, but not restore pages, could rename them, could lock them, etc.) but we ended up getting rid of it and increasing the edit requirement for rollback. Also admin requires 150-350 more than rollback. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:54, January 16, 2017 (UTC)
Nope, only admins and 'crats can delete stories now. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:05, January 16, 2017 (UTC)

Yo did I do something wrong :/


Okay with editing being highly encouraged and all I'd edit something's and it then get some rolled back :((((( can you tell me what I'm doing longboard wrong this website Is confusing Ima survive trying to help

Reary77 (talk) 05:56, January 17, 2017 (UTC)

I understand you perfectly now derp, once again thanks for the help. You the man.

Reary77 (talk) 06:21, January 17, 2017 (UTC)


Hey, sorry about the formatting errors on Seven Days Log 7. I'd forgotten about the script editor when I'd revised it.

J.T. (talk) 23:20, January 19, 2017 (UTC)jjtninja

RE: Mall Santa

Hey, buddy, if you'd like a little critique of your story, go ahead and read this, or ignore it if you want, lol.

First off, watch out for repeated words. For instance, you use the word "up" 35 times (not counting an "uppy"), three times in the opening paragraph alone. You use "down" 14 times. Up, down, up, down. You're going to make the reader seasick. Also, watch out for passive language, like "begins", i.e., "Sarah begins walking to the child pickup" "he begins to close his eyes," it's much more active and engaging if you say, "Sarah walks" "he closes his eyes."

You need a hook in the opening paragraph, something to grab the reader and pull them into the story. The first sentence is the one of the most important, it needs to say something about the characters and the plot. It sets the mood and atmosphere of the story.

What's the deeper story here? What does Sarah really want? To get Sammy to Santa. Okay, why? What in her life is driving her? Something deep, guilt over something she did or resentment over her own parents lack of love, maybe? Because all the other parents were doing it and she needed to post a picture on Facebook to feel accepted by her peers who she feels ostracized from because of some societal faux pas she committed? Because Sammy is sick? What's her relationship with her husband? Is she resentful he's not there? Happy he's finally got a job? Maybe he couldn't come because he's in an AA meeting. You have this wonderful moment of introspection here: "She wonders what it will be like to see him grow up, into a child, a teen, an adult, and then… she stops thinking about it. Best to live in the moment, now, rather than to spend time worrying about the future. She’s sure he’ll grow up just fine." But, in my opinion, being "sure he'll grow up fine" ruins it. There is no drama there. She may hope he grows up fine, she may tell herself he'll grow up fine, but the fear is what defines her character and makes the narrative tick. Always go for emotional impact. Dramatize the stakes. Focus on the struggle, the desire versus opposition, the internal questions and external struggles.

One last thing, do a little research. A one-year-old child can barely walk, if they're able to at all. And they certainly can't speak yet. They are still infants. This kid strikes me as more about two, two and a half.

Please know I'm not trying to diss your story at all, just offering some constructive advice.

Hope this helps, brother. Keep at it!

HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:15, January 25, 2017 (UTC)


There's no real need to warn users for issues, rather let an admin issue the warning as a number of the things you cite are not actually correct. "Your recent edit of Annie96 is typing was considered vandalism by this wiki." The edit was actually considered a "bad edit" which constitutes only a warning. "No need to panic - the longest ban admins will give for this is three days" Actually bans for making bad edits are usually reserved for after warnings and they actually are the length of typical vandalism.

If you're worried it's going to slip under the radar, let an admin know on their message page as they are up to date with the rules and they're going to have to issue warnings regardless so it comes off as misleading to have conflicting messages. I'm glad you're helping out, but this is something that we cracked down on in the past called 'mini-modding' and Cleric recently had to warn SP over the same thing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:09, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

It's not the worst thing, but since admins do have to issue warnings regardless, it becomes a bit redundant and can be confusing if there's conflicting information (a difference between three days and a full two weeks can be a big difference). Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:18, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

can you email me @ i wanted to do a interview with you

"Just want to make sure I'm not going up on a weird porn channel thingy."

What the fuck dude? It's like I don't even know you anymore.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 07:00, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

I go by principle. I don't care about normality, I do it for the art of digging corpses with the exact same body part you used to dig to them.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 15:19, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

I'm gonna assume that was a clever, intentional misinterpretation.

I don't think you quite get it. You first dig to it, then you dig into it. It's a subtle, yet important distinction.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 15:29, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

I'm also going to assume that you understood that I meant that I'dig it with my dick (written out, it sounds strangely melodic).

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 15:41, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

(Looks around for cameras)

No, no. Great leader King Jon Empun is the boss. He's also the most virtuous and sexy man alive. Glory North Wiki!

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 15:51, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

You can have...

Redundancy (like trying to insult me as if I had pride to be harmed)? Over-enthusiasm? Ignorance over the pointlessness of everything's existence? Being a woman?

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 17:04, January 28, 2017 (UTC)

I'd be horrored. Dark comedy is honestly one of the things that make me laugh the most (partly why I enjoy things like Rick and Morty), probably because there's an endless amount of horrible things you can joke about so it never gets old. You know, usually the parameters of a contest aren't the hardest part. The theme seems just loose enough to allow creativity, so I think it'd work out.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 17:30, January 28, 2017 (UTC)

"Over-obsessive"? Dude, you only mentioned it like 4 times. In 2 months. If you want obsession, you can do more than that. Chillax.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 17:54, January 28, 2017 (UTC)

Edits on Wrong Turn

Hi Derpy. I had to revert your edits on Wrong Turn. Even though they are not incorrect, it is best to leave the story as the original writer intended, unless they are making a grammar/punctuation/other mistake. In the future, keep that in mind. Thanks. MrDupin (talk) 17:18, January 29, 2017 (UTC)

Don't worry about it, no prob. MrDupin (talk) 19:43, January 29, 2017 (UTC)

And just like him, you'll dissappear after fulfilling your purpose, which is satisfying my purge-hunger. Luckily that will never happen.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 22:37, January 29, 2017 (UTC)

That's also true for many nihilists.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 04:38, January 30, 2017 (UTC)

Interesting new profile picture...bitch. Wubba lubba dub dub!

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 05:30, January 31, 2017 (UTC)


Are you mentally stable dude? Everytime I see you change your profile picture and username and with your whole profile being kinda crazy...

And you called yourself stupid Tide16 (talk) 00:09, February 1, 2017 (UTC)

And you called yourself stupid

Tide16 (talk) 00:09, February 1, 2017 (UTC)

Damn, I was just trying to find someone else like me

/s, maybe

If you can, send them to me at this address: (I'm not very subtle now am I?).

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 08:45, February 1, 2017 (UTC)

Memorieees light the corners of my mind...

Dude, with all this contest stuff I became a bit nostalgic. Ever heard of the very first contest ever on this site, the Freestyle Challenge? Man, that was the shit. I suggest you to check it out.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 20:18, February 1, 2017 (UTC)

The Tables have Turned

A few months ago when you weren't very active, I was in the workshop reviewing stories, editing pages and trying to work my way to rollback position. However my real life had to take priority and it seems that you have become aloore active and experienced than me. In saying that, I would like you to read and review some of my stories. They are on my profile, and I'm always willing to return the favour anytime. Thanks in advance buddy.

'Everyone is a monster to someone Since you are so convinced that I am yours; I will be it! 07:03, February 2, 2017 (UTC)


Hey just to let you know (Emp's been mega busy lately) that the contest is good to go! Post a blog and I'll add the admin category and it can all move forward. Sounds like a great idea ChristianWallis (talk) 16:31, February 2, 2017 (UTC)

I saw your new wiki!

Yeah, I saw your new wiki and would love to help! But, It's hard to start one up.

Crazy doesn’t even begin to describe it 17:01, February 3, 2017 (UTC)

Hey champ. Your mention of pearling made me wander, did you ever read Chick Palahniuk Guts? I think it's really your style.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 00:24, February 5, 2017 (UTC)

Ah, there's no problem in that. I like to watch stupid people trying to be mean. I seriously hate to act like a smartass (non-sarcastically), but I can't help myself when I see someone so predictable. I mean, seriously, if I could bet on every edit she was going to make next, I'd have a shit-ton of money.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 23:49, February 7, 2017 (UTC)

Also, I also said this to Tom, but there's an unusual pride in getting salt and not being an admin. It's almost like a honorary title (saline toilet, for example). Do you think I'll ever have my own salt mines?

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 00:03, February 8, 2017 (UTC)

Oh yeah, awkward situations would probably be worse for me. Aggression doesn't do much to me as I'm very hard to genuinely piss off, but there have been a number of user that I've seen interact in such...pitiful ways that I decided it was better to not get involved. He was that "I think you're my only friend" guy, wasn't he?

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 00:13, February 8, 2017 (UTC)

Hey Derpy; T'was wondering whether this sentence was hooky enough to engage the audience or not, what do you think?

A shinning star, no brighter than the Great Sun yet intense enough to strew forth a trail of its molten-self ashes across the Sacred Havens. Journeyed across the vast plains of unbroken green, above the soaring grounds, through the statues of might, before crossing the eyes of a lone wanderer & plunging straight first, into the watery depths below. RaptorKillerX-Venture (talk) 05:39, February 8, 2017 (UTC)

Thanks, wasn't too sure that the hook would work out or not. As for the story itself, I believe you have read it before; though it its earlier form. RaptorKillerX-Venture (talk) 06:10, February 8, 2017 (UTC)

Eh, which one was it again? T'was referring to the recent one. RaptorKillerX-Venture (talk) 06:14, February 8, 2017 (UTC)


Hey, just saw you got promoted and wanted to extend my condole- congratulations. You can add this: {{Rollback}} to your user page and feel free to message me if you have any questions about how to use your new abilities. Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:38, February 8, 2017 (UTC)


I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 17:42, February 8, 2017 (UTC)

So Basically...

I have absolutely no idea what i'm doing. I guess I upload everything to the writers workshop, and go from there? Compared to the other wiki's like the SOG wiki, this one is VERY confusing and the GUI is wierd. 

Kaptain DTSW (talk) 05:38, February 9, 2017 (UTC)Kaptain DTSW

Defecation of Plasma

Seriously dude, "pooping of the fire". That's downright genius! I swear I'm gonna name one of my stories that way (or my metal band).

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 22:02, February 9, 2017 (UTC)

If there's I Ejaculate Fire, then there's also bur- Wait a minute! Don't you try acting nice with me! I saw your 'to do' list. I would tell you to eat shit and hang yourself with a cloth covered in cum you filthy magg-but you know what? I decided that if I ever die, that's not how people shall remember me. I want them to remember me for the kind, polite, generous and modest person I really am. So, you don't have to eat shit when you hang yourself (unless you really want to).

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 22:13, February 9, 2017 (UTC)

Go ahead. Fucking no one reads them anyway, you'd only get me more attention. On a side note, here's a pretty funny video, kind sir.

On a side-by-side note, we only post reviews after the deadline is over, right?

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 22:21, February 9, 2017 (UTC)

Hey! Just because I'm a buff dude with millions of fans and surrounded by beautiful girls it doesn't mean I'm Ethan! Though I have to say, Jake really reminds me of Ethan Breadberry.

Glad to hear then.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 23:09, February 9, 2017 (UTC)

Yeah, I loved the one were Mo and IMETHANBREADBERRY traumatize the living shit out of a girl and make her think she's gonna get kidnapped and raped, just because she wanted to buy a TV.

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 23:16, February 9, 2017 (UTC)

Little clue: I assume you didn't get the Kenny Leonard reference from Banning's entry. You should read ALL his work in chronological order, cause he references the shit out of each one when he doesn't directly connects them (maybe except JtK 2015).

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 00:59, February 10, 2017 (UTC)


Green suits you. Welcome aboard Derp. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away. MrDupin (talk) 22:04, February 10, 2017 (UTC)

Blog Advice


MikeMcDee had a good piece of advice. You should edit the current contest blog and start keeping a list of all stories (link them) that are currently entered into the contest. This will make it easy for others to check them out as well as for you guys to keep track of the entries that you still need to judge. I used this method when I ran my Demon/Devil contest a while back, and it worked out well. In the end, it's your contest and you can run it how you want, but I just felt that he made a good observation.


K. Banning Kellum (talk) 04:08, February 11, 2017 (UTC)

Hello Neighbor?

Hi. Is something similar to "Hello Neighbor" against the rules? Basically, creepy neighbor with some weird behavior. They got helmets on they heads - BUT I GOT A WATAMELOAN INSTEAD! (talk) 04:31, February 13, 2017 (UTC)

Emp's Patented Tips and Trickz (the z is to help appeal to the disenfranchised youth of our culture)

When renaming a story, unless you're renaming a popular one (that people may search for it by the old title) or renaming an old story to the title correct version, you really don't need to both leaving a redirect behind. Unfortunately it can cause some slight issues if one is deleted if the admin isn't aware of the redirect left behind and it can grow to a large number if unchecked (I believe it once got up in the 100s region a few times) and needed to be cleaned out. Just thought I'd let you know, keep up the good work. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:40, February 14, 2017 (UTC)

Nomination Reciprocation

Hey there again boss, first off thanks for the kind words you left on my recent blog. If I didn't make it clear in my post, let me just say that, yes, I will definitely be seeing you around. For a long, long time...

I'm also very glad to hear that you liked my Lela + Raymond Howard pasta, and it made my month to see that you had nominated it for POTM. I've never had anything nom'ed before, and I just want to say that I really appreciate it. So another big "thank you" to you once more, and I'll be catching you on the flip side. Curry on!

"Girls will run around in your head, till you wished you liked boys instead!" 21:22, February 15, 2017 (UTC)

Spaghetti Monster, I pray for your thoughts into my latest work that's on the workshop at the moment. RaptorKillerX-Venture (talk) 00:14, February 17, 2017 (UTC)

Just a heads up so you're not left waiting. ThisIsLucid has been given a three day ban for creating spam pages. The account will be unlocked Feb 19th (unless he tries to create a sock in which case his ban will be extended) so if you feel it's a pressing matter, you may want to try messaging them off site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:55, February 17, 2017 (UTC)
No problem, hopefully they get back to you. It's always good to try and expand your horizons and try new things. Best of luck if they decide to ask for your help with the template. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:36, February 17, 2017 (UTC)

Area DH 51

Hey brother. I thought, since you already know my scores, could you e-mail me your current ones?

I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 09:50, February 17, 2017 (UTC)

Sure - why the **** not?

Yeah derpy I guess you can show me how to make archives, and I'm working on the HTML now (By working I mean failing nd raging.)

Crazy doesn't even begin to describe it [𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊] 02:30, February 14, 2017 (UTC) 15:31, February 20, 2017 (UTC)

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