(Difference between revisions) | User:HumboldtLycanthrope
(Pasta review request)
(Pasta review request)
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::Ah, sorry about that. It's been published now, but still feel free to check it out if you want. [[Fat|Here.]]
::Ah, sorry about that. It's been published now, but still feel free to check it out if you want. [[Fat|Here.]]
::"The hate child of Stephen King"? Wow... can't wait to see this. (To be honest, I was secretly waiting for this day to come. I knew it would, really.) I'm super excited for you, and I know it'll be amazing. No spoilers but fill me in on some details; is it a mashup of short stories or one long story? Have you thought of a title yet?
::"The hate child of Stephen King"? Wow... can't wait to see this. (To be honest, I was secretly waiting for this day to come. I knew it would, really.) I'm super excited for you, and I know it'll be amazing. Congrats on all the hard work you put in. No spoilers but fill me in on some details; is it a mashup of short stories or one long story? Have you thought of a title yet?
::Hopefully things go smoothly with publishing - agent or self publishing?
::Hopefully things go smoothly with publishing - agent or self publishing?

Revision as of 17:19, March 15, 2016

Archive 1 · Archive 2 · Archive 3 · Archive 4 · Archive 5 · Archive 6

Hit the " New Section" button when you want to leave a message, and sign your posts with the four tildes (~~~~).


I'm doing well, thanks. How's it going over there in the States?

« UnderScorre » 14:46, October 6, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Topics" message

Well. I'm currently working on a lost episode pasta. I hear that lost episode pastas aren't doing very well as of late, with only 65 of them on their category page as of this message. I figure I could do something new or different with the genre by making the pasta a psychological horror story. 

If you want, I can show you what I have so far. The story currently has 11 chapters but don't worry, most of them are barely 5 paragraphs long. I'll send a pastebin link with the story content I have so far. 

Heeere's Hailey! Wanna Talk? 14:54, October 6, 2015 (UTC)

Re:JTK and Skype

I didn't know that Skype had a chatbox, I just assumed it was webcam based chat. Yeah, I could probably manage chatting with you on my desktop. I'll give JtK a shot then. Buckle up I'm going to be popular 17:20, October 6, 2015 (UTC)

Hey man. Just wandered if you witnessed Shawn's wave of horror here.

You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 03:59, October 19, 2015 (UTC)


Saw your edit. You reading through The Soldier again? Props to ya's been months for me and I wrote the damn thing. Hope alls well with you! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 05:17, November 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Wicker House

I made some changes to the end based on some very helpful advice from Mike Macdee. Since you are such a fan of the story I wanted to get your thoughts. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 20:53, November 14, 2015 (UTC)

New Tobit Story

Hey brother,

Just wanted to let you know I've completed another installment in my Tobit works: Tobit: The Lady and the Maiden of Knowledge. Please check it out and let me know your thoughts.

--K. Banning Kellum (talk) 04:19, November 23, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Saint Empy

Yeah, them kids with they're bad grammar. ...Wait.

Badge is violently stripped from Emp and he's forced to give up his bureaucrat gun. (It shoots paper.) He declares it the 'worst thing that even happened on Thanksgiving', earning thousands of resentful glares from people who have managed to glance at a history book at least once in their lives.

I'm doing good, will be hanging with friends for Thanksgiving. It'll be fun. My family likes to do a big get together and do a small deep-fry turkey and a regularly-cooked turkey, so fry will be disappointed I'm missing that, but excited to hang out with some old Peace Corps friends. As for those puns, they were just a-maize-ing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:25, November 24, 2015 (UTC)

No worries brother

We all got a little involved with the JtK proposal. I certainly don't hold any grudges. In the end, I still respect your opinion a great deal and have always looked forward to your feedback. I wouldn't want to lose that from my wheelhouse, so consider the whole JtK thing forgotten.

Enjoy your holidays and take your time with the feedback. 


K. Banning Kellum (talk) 18:40, November 24, 2015 (UTC)


I know it's none of my business, but I saw you said your dad wasn't doing well. I'm sorry to hear that. I've had relatives deal with health issues, so I know what it's like. Whatever it is, I hope he starts feeling better.

I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. I also know what it's like to have to spend time with people you'd rather not spend time with. Have you ever had a younger relative want to take your food? You have your own food, you little twerp! ~rubs temples~ Raidra (talk) 14:08, November 25, 2015 (UTC)

Well, I'm happy to report that nobody stole any of my food! Have a good weekend! Raidra (talk) 00:09, November 29, 2015 (UTC)

Need some opinions

'ello Humboldt, been a few. Hate to message you on such narcissistic circumstances, but I'd like your opinion on a little project I'm working on. Considering some of your work in the past (I can still envision all those maggots 0_0), I figured, "Hey he's probably a good place to start".

BedrockPerson :D 01:12, November 26, 2015 (UTC)


Happy Thanksgiving to you too bro. I've been writing a bit more, yeah. I've been worldbuilding on a huge dark fantasy/adventure novel series and it's pretty exciting! I'm hoping to upload some stuff here too. And yeah, here's some crusty stuff to listen to: This kind of music makes me long for my old vacations to Upstate New York, haha. I miss the Adirondacks so much. Hope you have a great holiday! --Jojo risin' (talk) 16:17, November 26, 2015 (UTC)


Thanks for that. I avoided vodka and profound statements, so everything went smoothly. I assume a lycan such as yourself celebrated Thankskilling rather than Thanksgiving. Hopefully not too many people lost their lives under your fangs that day. Hope all is well.

Jay Ten (talk) 16:53, November 29, 2015 (UTC)


Saw your most recent uploaded pictures and want to remind you that this is a wiki for children (13+) and adults. As per our Terms of Use, posting pictures that contain nudity will result in a ban. I suggest taking this day long ban to look over the site rules and read the ToU as any further infraction will result in a lengthier ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:38, December 2, 2015 (UTC)


I personally didn't think you were trying to be disrespectful, but you did break the rules and we have to follow through regardless of the user (admin/bureaucrat included). If we didn't, it would foster an environment where favoritism/personal opinion reigns, frankly, that would really make the site shitty. We really don't try to play favorites and I hold to the standard that what would get one person banned should hold in every instance. Luckily, yours wasn't as troubling as the user who posted animated kiddie porn so your ban was much, much shorter. I would just advise that you don't get carried away and realize that we have to follow rules laid out by staff and what's been settled on by the wiki in order to keep the site running. Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:37, December 4, 2015 (UTC)

Looked over the (not completely quoted) comment Vonnegut made about semicolons in that article and then see half a dozen semicolons in A Small Piece of Lead. Kurt Vonnegut is likely spinning so hard in his grave that he's burrowed into the earth's core. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:05, December 4, 2015 (UTC)

Loving Hair Tussle

TBH, you came of as very rude in the comment you made, as though you didn't get the point. I still wubs you, just...try to be less of a troll in the future :3 ClericofMadness (talk) 04:14, December 4, 2015 (UTC)

Christmas Themed Contest

Hey Humboldt, how have you been? It's been a long time.

Shadowswimmer just posted this contest blog. As you have a couple of pastas of twisted fairy tales, I thought this might interest you.

By the way, have you got any stories in the works? I just realised it has been a while since I read a story of yours. MrDupin (talk) 23:57, December 8, 2015 (UTC)

New Story in WW

Hey Humboldt,

Would I be able to bug you to take a look at a story I've written and wanted to get some feedback from. It is in WW and titled Winner Takes All. At the moment, it hasn't been edited at all, so there will be some errors. But I am more concerned about the story itself, although I wouldn't mind if you wanted to make the editing easier by pointing out some grammar errors.


JohnathanNash (talk) 16:33, December 10, 2015 (UTC)


It's been the same, really. Nothing changed. I'm afraid all I've been reading the past month or so were entries on the Jeff the Killer contest.

I will have to check that Bizzaro genre out, I don't think I've read anything like it before.

Also, good luck with your novel. Wish you all the best man! MrDupin (talk) 20:40, December 10, 2015 (UTC)


Deleted it, You don't want to start a Spanish joke contest. "Do you know what a fish does in the ocean? Nada." EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:58, December 10, 2015 (UTC)

Unfortunately my other Spanish joke can't be written out, as it's more verbal so I'll concede this one to you and head out to finish up some Christmas shopping. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:07, December 10, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Mr. Tarbell

I am surprised that you knew who my avatar was, I didn't think many people would know who he was unless they knew something about magic. Well done.

I have heard of bizarre fiction, but never bizarro fiction, maybe I should look into that. I also saw that you are working on a book, how is that coming along? Hopefully it is going well, when you get into a project like that it takes all your free time and dedication to get through it, but once you do it feels great. That is until you realize that you have to edit it! Editing 60k plus words is no joke, which is why the novel I've written hasn't been edited yet, too damn intimidating.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, it was the first time I had a chance to really write something and was able to pump it out from a title I had. As with all my stories I have no idea where they will lead me until I finish it, but that was the first time I only had a title and the barest bones of a premise to work with.

Anyway, I haven't really been on here in a while and would love to know if there is anything new from you out. It is hard to find something good to read, and at the moment I am re-reading "The Three Investigators" series. I don't know why but I really like mysteries written back in the sixties/seventies.

Well, hope all is well and look forward to hearing from you again.

JohnathanNash (talk) 07:38, December 11, 2015 (UTC)

Great, I will look into one of them today, and hopefully I can get to the other tomorrow. Still hard to find time to do things but this week seems to have a few hours of dead time that I can spare with writing and reading.

JohnathanNash (talk) 23:16, December 11, 2015 (UTC)

Christmas Melody

Then try one of my favorite Black Metal bands.

Plaag is great, and this should get you in a Christmas mood. ;) ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 21:25, December 13, 2015 (UTC)

I seriously recommend you listen to all of Plaag's material. Only one album and one LP, and every song is great. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 21:32, December 13, 2015 (UTC)


Saw it a while back but it's still worth the re-watch. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:06, December 14, 2015 (UTC)

The Backwater Gospel

Hey Humboldt, have you ever seen The Backwater Gospel? I feel like you'd absolutely love it. --Jojo risin' (talk) 04:20, December 15, 2015 (UTC)

Yeah you gotta see it. Gotta love religious conflict ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) BedrockPerson :D 00:29, December 16, 2015 (UTC)

Soul Eater

You're welcome. I've never seen or read The Devil is a Part-Timer!, but Soul Eater was actually one of the first anime I ever got into. The show still holds up pretty well nowadays and it was very enjoyable (Chrona was my favorite character). I would also recommend Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood for another great series. Be warned though, it's pretty long (about 13 eps longer than Soul Eater) and has a really good deal of blood and violence throughout, but it is a fantastic story. Cheers mate. Hope everything is going well for you all. :) --Jojo risin' (talk) 01:19, December 16, 2015 (UTC)

A Noel in Black

Hey Humboldt, I noticed one of the last paragraphs in your story is a large wall of text. Is that intentional? I didn't read it because I don't want to spoil anything. MrDupin (talk) 17:31, December 17, 2015 (UTC)

Re:Noel in Black

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH but it was pretty good. BedrockPerson :D 17:41, December 17, 2015 (UTC)


That would be me (at the suggestion of MrDupin). I'm trying to switch it up every month and give some focus to some classic horror writers for the time being. That being said, feel free to send me suggestions to keep it fresh as I try to change it the first week of every month. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:26, December 18, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the praise

I was totally planning on telling you about it.  However, I had 8:30 tickets for Star Wars and was trying to post before I got out the door so I wasn't able to quite get around to it lol. 

The plot was totally cliched (a lot of mine of my self goals is to try and take cliches and show people that they can work, if done well).  But this one was pretty much just your standard 'deal with the devil'.  Interesting notion about doing a conventional piece of writing.  I've considered it before, I just don't have that much interest in it. 

Not so much a twist, but the intent of this one was to actually give a bit of backstory/motivation to the main antagonist from A Bad Night, although as usual I'm trying to ensure it stands on its own as well as tying into my other stuff.  Thanks again...I've got a couple other ideas I'm going to try to develop over the holiday break here so we'll see what happens.  Next time I'll be sure to drop you a line!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 04:28, December 18, 2015 (UTC)

No spoilers here

I wouldn't even tell you if Kylo Ren is actually Jar Jar Binks in disguise...

Enjoy it!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 04:47, December 18, 2015 (UTC)


I read the first paragraph and felt a sick grin creeping across my face. I've got a few things I've told people I'll read, but I'll definitely get to it soon. I like the way it's going at first glance.

Jay Ten (talk) 18:43, December 18, 2015 (UTC)

RE:A Noel in Black

I read it and really enjoyed it, but I'm not sure I can put up a review anytime soon. Something really stressful has come up recently and I'm trying to find out how to deal with it. Do you still use your Skype? --Jojo risin' (talk) 14:59, December 19, 2015 (UTC)

Wanna read my newest pasta? xD

So I wrote this pasta called An Unwanted Passenger and it's only got one comment so far. It's my first NSFW pasta and the person said that the NSFW part was "kinda lol". I'd be grateful if you took a look at it. Umbrello (talk) 02:39, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

I'll read it right now. But man... fix that giant paragraph! :P Umbrello (talk) 03:07, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Edits

Whoops, sorry bout that. I always thought it was simply "you's" not "you'se". MrDupin (talk) 22:47, December 21, 2015 (UTC)

How are things?

What's up Humboldt? I haven't been on here as much because I'm working on other things such as a comic with a friend and what I hope will be a novel. I remember you saying that you were working on a novel as well. How's that going? Well, I hope.

I've written a new pasta "Maple Drive "if you have not seen it yet and I believe there are two of yours I haven't read either.

Anyway, hope things are good and Merry Chirstmas!

Supersatan25 (talk) 17:52, December 23, 2015 (UTC)


Your story A Noel in Black took first place in my Holiday Horror Contest!  Message me on my talk page for your prize, reviews on up to three of your stories of your choice!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 19:58, December 24, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Edits to a noel in black

I'm good, how are you? The protection level on the story is set to "Allow all users". I reverted the change I made regarding the italics. I added single breaks where I put double breaks in the previous edit. It looks different from the rest of the piece, it keeps the paragraphs connected, and adds whitespace all in one swoop. I can change it if need be. This is the diff.

Thanks, Merry Christmas.

SoPretentious 01:10, December 25, 2015 (UTC)


merry merry xmas my good bro

Hey Humboldt, it's good to be back. My exams have finished, I'm out of hibernation and back into the wild.

And yes, you guessed correctly, my schoolboy encounters with the Bronte sisters are far from over. I had to write a ten thousand word essay on Mr Rochester and the Significance of the Byronic Hero just last month. Chaucer and Shakespeare are also familiar faces. The English exams for law school are physical and mental torture. Luckily we also got to study some more exciting Gothic classics; we finally read at Frankenstein in class last week and even Poe's Tell-Tale Heart!! I never imagined my other life on this site would ever be so relevant in reality! :-D

Anyway, I'm not armed with many puns at the moment, but I'll be sure to slip in a few to lighten the mood here and there, coz what the heck, I leave for two months and potm is suddenly gone... these are dark times... so I'm off to read the latest gossip. And of course, watching our Queen's Christmas speech on live telly with some English tea. As for my own writing, I'll be holding out until the next competition because of the dogpile of schoolwork on my desk.

Oh and I left a note on your wolftastic story. Congrats for winning.

Rinskuro13 (talk) 16:06, December 25, 2015 (UTC)

Redundancy is redundant

Hey thanks for the feedback for "Maple Drive". Yeah I know it was redundant but it was meant to be. I don't know if you ever read a book called "Scary Stories to Read in the Dark" but there is this one story that constantly reiterated that there was this monster in a box that was in a drawer that was in a dresser that was in a room behind a door of this house. That's what I was trying to emulate. Also the vagueness was intentional because I wanted the reader to try and figure out themselves what was going on. It's just something I tried but, I guess it didn't work out. Or maybe it's just not your cup of tea haha.

Supersatan25 (talk) 16:20, December 25, 2015 (UTC)


Hey! Congrats again on winning, the story totally deserved it. At far as he reviews go, it's really up to you. I was planning on just trying to give a fairly detailed critique, not with the individual criteria categories (since obviously those aren't specified as they were for the contest). I've read both of those before but would be happy to give them a solid once over. Let me know if you have a third story in mind as well. I'm curious if the student is going to psychoanalyzing you or the characters...either way it should be an interesting read, you'll have to see about getting a copy. as far as he anthology, I haven't seen anything yet (and it'll be unpaid even if I ever do). And if I recall you had a story picked up for publication not that long ago too! I liked Star Wars. I agree that it was an ode to the original but am very much looking forward to the next one where hey can hopefully add a few more original plot points. Merry Christmas to you and yours as well! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 19:59, December 25, 2015 (UTC)

Project Proposal

Hi there, Mr. Brockmeyer. My name is Seth and I was wondering if you would be interested in helping out for a piece I am composing on storytelling in video games for the new Fan Contributor Program. Here I will have the oppurtunity to be seen by the developers of different mainstream properties and actually talk to them about it. I was recommended to you by a Shawn Howell, who used to frequent here, and if that name means nothing to you, well, he just said you were an acclaimed author who has taken professional writing classes and specializes in NSFW themes. 

If you're interested, all you have to do is answer a few questions in as much detail as you can. I belong to the Elder Scrolls Wiki where I blog quite extensively (Which you can see here: and I often critique different parts about the games as well as interview various users from around the net for the website's news team (including some from Central). One thing I have not yet touched upon is the often lackluster story provided by Bethesda Softworks and I think it would be apt to mix my two properties by talking to different users from a site built on storytelling and have their opinion. You don't have to know much about the games to answer the questions, but if you do, all the better. To get an idea of the completed product, here is a link to one interview: Since this is a public project, I think it would be a wonderful oppurtunity to promote whatever pubished works you may have while also being seen by big names in the video game industry. So there is a chance we can influence future games to some degree with the story feedback. Who better to give them that than actual authors? So once again, if you're interested, it would be great if you could answer the couple of questions below. I may ask follow-up questions based on your responses but that is not required for what we're doing. 

1) One of the most appealling factors of a Bethesda game is its open world that takes hundreds of hours to completely explore and with more than enough questlines to nudge you into it. However, you can completely ignore the them if you want. Even the main campaign. So in the case of Skyrim, where a soul-eating dragon threatens to destroy the world and the Dragonborn's off picking flowers, what happens? Nothing. You can murder the Emperor. What happens to you? Nothing. So, the first question I want to ask you is, in such a vast world that caters to the player's choices, what about the consequences? Is this feasible in a game of this size?

2) This actually brings up a big problem about the game's little moments of storytelling, and not just Skyrim, but Fallout 4, Fallout 3, New Vegas, Oblivion, ect. A glaring flaw is the way exposition is presented between quests. Once again, not sure if you are familiar with the games or not, but the way it presents questlines is always the same. NPC's tell you everything the developers think you need to know but people often skip the dialogue to the end because they know it's going to end with another brain-dead quest: Go to the cave, kill the thing, talk to the guy, next quest! The repatitiveness of the task overules the story, so Bethesda needs to step it up by having a good enough questline to supercede those flaws. But the Witcher 3 did something like this, and I was way more invested in what happened to characters than in Skyrim? What went wrong here? 

This opens a can of questions. Is it because all quests follow the same path? Is this a gameplay problem? Is it the stale and overly-expository dialogue? What is good dialogue? How do you let the player experience the game's story outside of telling it? What do you think it is? 

3) One of the most blatant offenses of poor storytelling affecting the way you like an npc in game is Skyrim's marriage system. After completing some dumb task for any specific person, they are ellgible to marry--with a simple press of a button. But for an M-rated game, the way relationships are handled are far from adult. As someone who deals with mature themes--like serious investment in someone or sex--do you think they are applicable in a video game and, perhaps, constructive to the very idea of relationships? If so, how should it be implemented into the overall story? 

That is all the questions I need answered from ya', as I have other interviewees answering other questions and I don't want to make the blog too long (I will split it in two if I have too). As such, take your time to think about your responses and as one writer to another, I would be extremely grateful if you helped out with this. Once I am finished gathering the data I need and compose the blog, I will post the final product here. 

Happy New Year

Madman97 (talk) 01:59, December 27, 2015 (UTC)

RE:Elder Scrolls

Thank you so much for helping out. Your answers were just what the doctor ordered. I am obligated to let you know that I typically write interviews and blogs as a character of my own creation rather than just myself, so the way I will have asked you these questions will be put differently in the final product. However, they will still be in the same context and I will not change your responses in any way, so no need to fret there, just don't want you to be caught off-guard. I will post the final product here once it is finished, which it should be soon. I just have to ask one more user a few questions and I will have the data I need to begin composing the piece. 

Before I do so and as a thank you gift, since you are a published author, would you like me to recommend the book within the blog so more can be exposed to it? And also, I want to ask something personal.

I'm trying to perfect a query to send to an agent and while is helpful with this, I would like an already published author's opinion on it if you have the time. If you're too busy, that's fine, but if you are able, I'll post it here. 

Thanks again for all your help and Happy New Year. 

Madman97 (talk) 19:43, December 28, 2015 (UTC)

New Stories Idea

I really liked your stories and your pastas are  my favourite pastas. And now i have a really good pasta material for you to write and this is a real story from my country and you will be petrified if you read the stories.  It is your call. You can accept these stories of you want,  and if you wrote this, it will nominated worthy for PotM. Trust me !

Thank you

P.S if you are interested, just reply. If you are positive, i will send you the story.

Terima KasihPenapak Tilas 07:48, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

Nunca! Jajaja, solo bromeando

This user, Thurston town privateer was the one who sent the message to you. As for celebrating, I'm spending New Years with the family so it'll be fun and low key. Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:49, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

Not too sure, I never really had that feature on my layout. It's likely just one of those things that comes and goes (like receiving wiki notifications). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:56, December 31, 2015 (UTC)


Hey there Matt, I have a new contest up!,_Part_2 . Would love to see what you think, and if you would enter! Up to you though, thank you! --Jojo risin' (talk) 03:08, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

new topics

The story that im going to give you is about the darkest part of indonesian  history.  The Riots of May 1998 and The 1965 Communist party uprising. I have a few stories. All of them are terrifying  that you are going to be gagging and vomiting if you read the stories.  I have to find a link to the  story first . If you are ready of course.

Terima Kasih

Penapak Tilas 07:58, January 1, 2016 (UTC)

Profile pic

Haha that again, is that a product of procrastination or a mood status signal of some kind? It could be our secret code for when you're high.

Rinskuro13 (talk) 18:57, January 3, 2016 (UTC)


I gave it a good read-through when it went live and I did enjoy the Lovecraftian themes. I believe Koromo's contest winner is going to be the next spotlighted story, but I'll put it into the list we've been compiling of possible front page stories while we figure out what we can do with PotM. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:28, January 4, 2016 (UTC)

Hello sir,

Thanks for the raving review on The Brooding Star, and thanks for the spotlight reccommendation. I’m glad you appreciated the time and effort that went into the prose, because a few people I know thought it was too verbose and complicated.

Also, I posted another of my stories called Ricordare, which is basically a deppressing murder mystery involving dreams and amnesia—much different than my Lovecraftian tale. It‘s among the least horrifying stories on the site, but it does have a sinister edge that I figured creepypasta lovers would enjoy. Leave a comment if you wish.

Matthew Varney (talk) 21:12, January 4, 2016 (UTC)

We Go Bump

Submissions are open for volume 4 if you didn't see. Wanted to make sure you were aware since I promised I would!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 23:31, January 4, 2016 (UTC)

no problem

No wiki anthology would be complete without your stuff! Haven't started writing yet, just been doing a bunch of background research and story planning at the moment. Think this one is gonna be pretty dark... Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 03:34, January 5, 2016 (UTC)

Did you just feel that earthquake?

There was this light shaking, but I thought it was just a strong gust of wind blowing against the house. --Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 06:22, January 7, 2016 (UTC)

Project is Complete

I just want to extend my personal thanks again to you for your contribution to this project, and I will leave it here to read at your liesure. I warn you now, it's a long blog, almost a quasi-podcast of sorts, but I have divided it up into specific sections where each person interviewed is featured, so if you want to skip right ahead to where you're at, that's fine, but I recommend enjoying the entire thing if you have the time. Thanks for making this possible! Madman97 (talk) 19:15, January 7, 2016 (UTC)


I'll definitely check it out. Looks like you went all out with this one. I see there's even a video attached. Did you finally get some footage of you picking up hookers on a full moon night? Werewolf torture-porn is the wave of the future. LycanRape Industries will soon be a household name (we ran the name LycanPoke through our focus group but apparently Facebook has completely ruined the word "poke").

While I've got you, it appears someone hacked your webcam and snapped this picture of you proofreading. Lookin' sharp, my friend.

Jay Ten (talk) 00:12, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Formatting Issues

Can you try editing your story now? I did something, not sure if it fixed everything though. MrDupin (talk) 01:28, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

I believe Dupin did a bit with your story to fix issues. I'm not quite sure what is causing it as I haven't run into that sort of issue before. I would make sure you're in source mode and possibly try refreshing your browser and clearing your cache. Other than that, it's a bit outta my wheelhouse when it comes to troubleshooting wiki technical issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:41, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
I will not be 'cowed' by such puns. As much as a I find wordplay to be so transcendentally "bovine", I've heard if you mess around too much with the bull, you get the horns. Frankly, that just sounds 'udder'ly uncomfortable. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:56, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
Yes, it would be'hoove' you to not engage in a pun-off as I tend to be like a cow-catcher with my puns and just power through and go in holstein. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:05, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
I dairy (That's a stretch) to try and stop me. I enjoy my meat like I enjoy my beer... bloody. Side note: I'm no longer allowed at these restaurants due to this. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:14, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
Welp, now I'm frothing at the mouth like a mad cow at you re-using my 'utterly' pun in a different context. Looks like I'll have to beef up my game. You may have not known this but I come from a long line of cattle farmers. We were so well-respected, even one of our cattle was given the title of a knight (sir loin). In fact, another one was blessed by the pope (Holy cow!) We may have to put all these puns out to pasture. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:30, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
How now, brown cow (Not a race thing...)?! I'm quite enjoying my jenkem trip (bullshit) right now. It's a drug for the sophistics, you probably haven't herd of it. You know, all this talk of cows reminds me of the time I first ordered a New York strip... I was quite misled. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:45, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Perhaps it's best we end(cut) it here. As for making soup using bones, I don't put any 'stock' in it. I had fun, but I'm pretty sure making that last wave of puns gave me an aneurysm. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:58, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

I will certainly check it out, but it will take a while. I still have Banning's latest story and after that it's exam time. By the way, I solved the problem by using a little tool I made. You can check it out online if you want. You don't need to download anything. You just paste your story on the field on the right, and press a button. If you remember to, you can usually solve problems like the one you just encountered by pressing the "Fix Indenting" button (don't bother with the other buttons, they won't do much on your stories). I'm off to get some sleep now, see ya later. MrDupin (talk) 02:22, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Re:Blog and New Story

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I hope we can colloborate on something some time in the future, be it for a story or for another podcast-like blog. I will definitely edit the interview so we have your full name (though I am sure we have it in there at least once) and I will definitely check out your new story. Thanks for doing this!

Madman97 (talk) 02:35, January 11, 2016 (UTC)


Dude, I'm so looking forward to this! Thanks for letting me know man. Blacknumber1 (talk) 02:55, January 11, 2016 (UTC)


Thanks for letting me know, I'll take a look when I've got some time :)

« UnderScorre » 15:38, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Re: thanks for reading...

Thanks, and that was a great story. I submitted a form to Dirge, hopefully they'll get back to me, editing would be great profession IMO.

SoPretentious 03:17, January 12, 2016 (UTC)


Hey Humboldt,

Saw your avatar and had to ask who it is, to me it looks a little like Divine from Pink Flamingos, but I could be wrong. In fact, the more I think about it the more I think I am wrong.

JohnathanNash (talk) 04:37, January 12, 2016 (UTC)

Hello. This is me again.

I think this pasta i a sequel from Clown Dogs. I like it. It was even more fascinating. And, you know as a  14 year old approaching 15, i like dirty stories like this.especially my profession is an urban explorer that investigates underworld like this.


Penapak Tilas 10:52, January 12, 2016 (UTC)

You showed me yours

Here's mine. Her Red Right Hand. Good luck in the contest, my friend! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 01:53, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Looks Good

Haha. I watched the video when you first posted it to make sure you weren't a sneaky werewolf and slipped nipple in there. I removed the video tag as it's no longer on the page. I think the video might distract from the story itself, so making it a bit less intrusive, but still having it accessible was a good choice in my book. I expect that website is going to get some very interesting visitors in the next couple of months. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:01, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Your choice, I can see a number of people stumbling across it without knowing about the story first, which might be a bit awkward for the people participating in that video. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:11, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Is the webpage you made for the story?

Rainboh (talk) 05:02, January 14, 2016 (UTC)


No clarification needed.  I was just curious.  From an artist's standpoint, I understand myself.  The story was awesome though.

Rainboh (talk) 05:54, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Day of all the blood

Just wanted to tell you that I think you're missing a word near the end of the story unless you're attempting something, which I can understand. After the word "somnolent" there needs to be something else. There's also a missing closing quotation mark up there somewhere. Figure I'd let you do both since I don't know what word you want to add. Left some feedback.

Jay Ten (talk) 19:33, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Ha! I'll leave you with this image a user left on my page a while back after I deleted his story:
Jay Ten (talk) 20:21, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Wise of you to photoshop his fangs out of that picture. No problem man. Thanks for making it.
Jay Ten (talk) 20:51, January 14, 2016 (UTC)

Your website

I love it.  I know its just for the story and that makes the story even cooler.  I love that you did this.  I also love that some of your stories take place in the same dimension... I noticed in one of the comments that someone mentioned Clown Dogs and I was thinking that you were referencing that when you mentioned the girls in the beginning being friends who did the naked photo thing to the other girl.  Its pretty cool.  I appreciate that you look me out to show me your stories.  Thanks for thinking of me.

Rainboh (talk) 05:18, January 15, 2016 (UTC)


Just read your edits. Thank you bro, your changes here and there made a world of difference in the story. I appreciate your help. Like I said, I've never been much of an editor. My work might me deleted if it weren't for pals like you who care enough to help me with edits. Blacknumber1 (talk) 18:19, January 15, 2016 (UTC)


I see Blacknumber thanked you for the edits, so I'm assuming you've discussed it offsite, but I just wanted to verify that you weren't rewriting his story unprovoked. The edits aren't the kind we would allow unless the author had agreed to them.

Jay Ten (talk) 18:46, January 15, 2016 (UTC)

Never mind. He just messaged me. Figured there was no way, but had to play it safe. While I'm here, was wondering if you'd seen this movie: Willow Creek
It wasn't anything special in my opinion, but it takes place in Humboldt County.
Jay Ten (talk) 19:12, January 15, 2016 (UTC)

Thanks again to the wolfman.

You know, I really like your revisions. I kinda feel bad for not keeping it a little longer and revising it myself. Guess I was too excited at the fact that I had finished a story in like, nearly a year. The War Pigs lyrics were a nice touch. I just might add the music to it at that point. Very cool. Thanks again brother.Blacknumber1 (talk) 20:57, January 15, 2016 (UTC)

Id love to. Going to bed though. Teaching a class in the morning. I'll be thinking of that scenario and give you some ideas. I think she should grab the shovel. If he raised it, she could keep pulling it in the same direction it was traveling, pulling him back off balance. This way she could grab it, take control of it and use the edge to stab through his throat or face. Or she could pull down on it as it comes up, take it and reach up behind him with both hands and break his neck. Or after she takes it away still behind him, reaches her middle and index fingers into his eye sockets. Thats what i'd do.Blacknumber1 (talk) 05:30, January 16, 2016 (UTC)


Hey, Humboldt!

Yeah, things have been busy lately, sorry it took me so long to reply to your message, I'm not visiting the site as frequently anymore. I am, in fact, working on a different story right now, one that I'm about 3500 words into. If you're interested in giving it a look for me it'd be much appreciated. It's not exactly finished, but at the moment I'm starting to lose interest in it because I've been writing it over a long period of time and when I'm not obseesively writing something then I tend to get bored with it. I feel like there's something missing with it. It's about a recovering meth addict who feels like he's being stalked by his own shadow.   

I'll be sure to give your new story a read.


Ameagle (talk) 03:14, January 18, 2016 (UTC)


Yes, "he'd have been" = "he would have been". That screwy English language and its contractions. Appreciate the help though. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 13:59, January 19, 2016 (UTC)

Further Feedback

All right, my little loupgarou,

I know you've been getting tweaked at some of the nitpicks on Daddy's Little Princess and realized that me saying "it felt rushed" and "it wasn't scary" without any kind of qualifiers doesn't really help or really even count as constructive criticism, so I went back and thought about specifically why I felt that way.  I mean, what you said is right, a father watching his daughter cut herself on camera and have sex is horrifying...why wasn't I horrified?  So I think I came up with an answer that actually explains both of my reactions: it's because the story is told from two perspectives. 

The viewpoint of the father would be absolutely horrifying, and it is initially...but then we have Laura's perspective.  And everything she presents is that this is good and natural and wonderful.  And yeah, you are getting into the cult mindset, but there is nothing really presented that shows any of the negative aspects of what she's doing.  It's not a suicide cult.  They shoot up blood which is weird and certainly dangerous with AIDS and everything else out there, but they don't seem any the worse off for it in the story.  They aren't pulling a Manson and going around murdering innocent people.  They're just having sex on camera for money, but Laura presents it in a way that suggests she doesn't feel exploited (albeit being a minor.)  So I think that's why the horror isn't there: I've just spent a good part of the time getting to know the main character and she's super ok with everything going on.  Dear ole dad is just a close minded prude. 

Which further deals with my point of the story being rushed.  5000 words isn't a ton, especially when you go into the level of detail you do regarding the deprogramming, and in reality you are using it to tell two different stories, Laura's and her father's.  I feel like some of it, especially the actual deprogramming part, could have been strung out a bit longer to maximize the emotional impact.  So, that's hopefully a little bit better explanation.  

Now, for an olive branch: I came across this contest the other day where the goal is to tell the same story from two different perspectives, and realized later that this story might work for it.  It doesn't perfectly match the criteria they give, but with a few minor tweaks, I think it could come pretty close.

See you out there! 

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 15:44, January 19, 2016 (UTC)

No hard feelings taken

Regarding your stuff, I was being honest when I said I didn't think my initial review was particularly constructive, since I basically just gave criticism without going in and actually trying to identify why I felt that way (which is what I was trying to fix with that last message.) 

As far as my story goes, I agree that this one is definitely more gore/camp filled than my usual stuff.  You didn't like it that much, fair enough.  Everybody's entitled to an say this is my worst, Jay says it's his favorite.  I imagine it probably falls somewhere in the middle (I personally feel Lights is my worst).  At any rate, I appreciate the honesty in both cases.

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 17:16, January 19, 2016 (UTC)


Actually, no you cannot unless you cut open their eardrum. You could stick a sharp object inside. I teach a technique called 8 leaves fist which uses the fingers to slap the ear very hard. This can rupture the ear drum. He could puncture her eyeball with his thumb or fish-hook the corner of her mouth, giving a joker-like smile. He can also rip her ear off. Hope it helps. Blacknumber1 (talk) 16:05, January 20, 2016 (UTC)

I apologize for intruding, but I happened to come across this conversation (I saw the topic when I checked the recent wiki activity for pages I follow, and it had a vague Mythbusters-type aura that got my attention), and one of my first thoughts was about the neko-te. I've been researching traditional weapons for one of my characters, and this is one of the items supposedly used by ninja. It means "Cat Hand(s)" in Japanese and was a claw or series of claws worn on the fingers. If you Google it you'll find a variety of images so you can see what I'm talking about. Good luck on your story. Needless to say, I will not be coming within twenty feet of it. ;-) Raidra (talk) 23:59, January 20, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Heart Breaking

Yeah, we can't really do much when it's determined something is in violation of the terms of use. As for publishing, I'm currently just playing the waiting game. I already submitted electronically to a number of publishers and am waiting to see if it piques any of their interest. It's odd though, one says they'll give a response in 4-6 weeks while another has me waiting 9-12 months and their query letter was just looking for a general synopsis and discussion of themes. (I think my taping it to a brick idea might be a little more viable now.) On the plus side, hard work's out of the way now and I can focus on writing rather than obsessive proof-reading (until I go to post here that is, and then it's back to obsessively re-reading it.) Best of luck to you. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:31, January 25, 2016 (UTC)

Yup, my 'insights' are also why I'm no longer allowed to go within 25 feet of any publishing building (Little do they know, I'm building up my throwing strength and will make their restraining order pointless.). I would love to see an interview with John Skipp grace our wiki. The same rules apply as before (I'd like to see it before it's posted), but I'm sure you have a handle on it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:04, January 25, 2016 (UTC)
Looks like I should have down more research on agents as what I've looked up seems more like a promoter than an agent. I'll likely fish around and see if any agents have interest in my other novellas once this self-submission thing resolves itself as the cat's already out of that bag. I may bug you in the future about it.
As for Amazon, it is a pretty simple process (might be a little too simple). Judging from looking at the information again (They updated it a week ago), you fill out information (including a cover letter) and include a digital copy where they decide on whether or not you're up to snuff in 4-6 weeks. But be warned, their standards are strict (Talk about being scared stiff, jokes aside, I do notice that Michael Whitehouse, Vincent Vena Cava, and Aaron Shotwell have used it so there are some gems there.) I believe you set the price (between free and 4$) and get up to 70% of royalties in the sales. A drawback is very little advertisement (if any), a general lack of quality of most stories, and little to no word of mouth. As for Leo, I believe that came first on Amazon and the author moved it over to generate interest in the other stories in the anthology. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:35, January 26, 2016 (UTC)

Contest winner reviews

Just wanted to update you, I haven't forgotten these and they're still on my to do list. Life has been somewhat hectic as of late but I'm intending on getting to them in the next week or two. Apologize for the delay! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 01:35, January 26, 2016 (UTC)

feggit about it

I meant what I said, no hard feelings. Nothing I'm actively working on but I have ideas for another four or five stories stewing away in my subconscious. My grad school runs on a quarter system so I've already got midterm tests and projects I'm trying to crank out at the moment which is sucking away all my motivation. When I get a free couple minutes I'll definitely have to check out that book...anything that gives you nightmares must be good. Thanks for the recommendation! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 02:21, January 26, 2016 (UTC)

Re: John Skipp

Since his style is well-known for being splatterpunk, I would add questions dealing with how to make scenes come off as visceral and how to properly utilize gore in a story without appearing gimmicky as that has been an issue before with some writers. You can also ask questions about what method is best for approaching detailed description or what approach he prefers in his stories. Other than that, I'm sure you can think of a few burning questions that the audience would be interested in. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:10, January 27, 2016 (UTC)


Hi there, how have you been? How was your holidays? Luigifan100 17:23, January 29, 2016 (UTC)

Hey, Humboldt.  My boyfriend and I have been playing Vampire the Masquerade (the pen and paper version) and I decided that I liked one of my characters backstories enough to post it to the workshop.  Was wondering if you'd give it a read?  I tweaked it a little to turn it more into a story for the site instead of leavng it as is for the game.  I'm slowly learning about the game.. honestly, I feel silly doing it.  But you'd think I'd be okay with it, with how much I love to write.  I guess its the whole acting out the scenes versus writing them?  I don't know.  But anyway, I know you're super busy, you're just one of the few people on the site that I actually talk to.  The thread id is 523708.  I can't remember like the html to make the title of the sotory clickable.. ha.  Anyway, thanks for reading... and thanks for being so kind to me.

Rainboh (talk) 19:34, January 29, 2016 (UTC)

Tall Girl

I have to say, I am sorry to hear about your father, but, I will say that story of yours, Tall Girl, was quite an amazing read! Hmmm, any good books I've read lately, well I have read a few romance and horror novels, I cannot remember the names though. Hope you have a good day! Luigifan100 22:11, January 29, 2016 (UTC)

That's cold-blooded...

"Nothing ventured, nothing veined"? Ain't that the tooth? I'll try to give "The Tall Girl" a read in a bit, but right now I'm celebrating the fact that I became a godfather earlier today when I get a bit more free time. Side note: If you wake up with a horse head in your bed, you'll know the debt has been paid. (For outing me as a G-man). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:05, January 30, 2016 (UTC)

Fun Police Here

The blog has been locked down mainly due to commenting policy violations and generally the fact that repeated posts on there were now just becoming issues of rubbing salt on the wounds of the OP. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:27, February 5, 2016 (UTC)

Yeah yeah, still have to cut it off at the pass before it becomes a bit too much. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:44, February 5, 2016 (UTC)

Fun Times

"I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. But, you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?"
"God damn!"
"I seen them do it, man, they fucking drown them in that shit."
"That's some fucked up shit."

Yes, indeed, I'm a Frenchman, I come from Nice (which you should see, there's everything you'd ever want there, except mosques,) and it was a pretty fun time, even though I think we shouldn't'a done that in the comments' section of an unhappy writer, but what do you want, that's some crazy-ass shit going on, you don't have the time to think when the Lord calls upon for Thy Party of Thine Century, ya know, coke, hookers and murder, I don't even know who needs that, but it's there!

Though I think it'd be much funnier of we sent a future mental breakdown of us two to the Westboro Baptist Church, just cause. But I understand that you care for your family's life out there. oh by the way, did joo hear the last news? The founder of Earth, Wind & Fire died. Sad days dawg. Also D. Trump went back to his homeplanet.

Trump returns to KKKrypton

Trump returns to KKKrypton

if you don't mind me, I'll go to sleep, but I'll answer your message t'murrah.
Take care, kisses on your cheeks (the lower ones,) FrenchTouch (talk)

PS: Thanks for the compliment, though, you're pretty okay too (jk you're a funlord of goodness, chap.)

I shed the blood of the saxons, man.

Hey, do you like metal? Do you like Christopher Lee? Do you like whatever the fuck makes most metal video clips suck shit even if accompanied with great songs? Yeah, me too. I'm sure you know that already, but you know man, no party can be complete without that, ya know. You may then wash your eyes when you're done ;)

FrenchTouch (talk)
Christopher Lee "The Bloody Verdict of Verden" Music Video

Christopher Lee "The Bloody Verdict of Verden" Music Video

Hello, cheeky fella,

The true question is who doesn't like Sir Chree's Charlemagne? No one, that's who. Also, I find it funny that you start your day while it's 8PM over here, that's a nice touch, <wink wink> as for your bud's song, it's very nice, and the video clip was good, even though I found it to lack a lot of finesse towards the end. The lyrics were a little too bland, and "uneducated" to me, it makes it seem so that the message is insignificant, when I'm pretty sure it isn't, even though I didn't find any message. There's a lot of room to work upon, but the potential is there. I'll check out his other work too, thanks for the link. Here's how I repay for the favor.

Mayonnaise is great, I don't understand what some have against it. I mean, I'm not a big fan of condiments, but mayonnaise is really good. One recurrent cliché we have on the USA, is that its inhabitants have no taste whatsoever when it comes to cuisine—our main argument being the alcohol and fast food, and I'd like to know, what do you think of it? Is it true, or are we just isolating a few cases? Because, I'll admit that I've seen the American take on some foods (pizza) and alcohols (that fucking champagne rip-off) and it made me question my ethics. For example, in Nice, our cuisine is very culture-driven and innovative (ask Gordon Ramsey) and one of our most popular meals, the pan bagnat (literally soaked bread, it doesn't sound like it but it's delicious,) has been so poorly done by some, like, even in Nice, it's criminal the number of people who don't know how to make that. And I've seen some American recipes which made me go all Samuel L. Jackson and shit. Please, comfort me with your answer.

When it comes to travelling though, I haven't been a big traveller, I've only visited Italy (30 minutes away) and Switzerland (one of my brothers live here,) which kind of infuriates me, because I'd like to see the patrimony the rest of the world has to show, ya know. To come back on your other message, Bordeaux is a great place, you might want to visit it some day. Just don't take Paris as your first choice. Paris is a great city, and there are many reasons to that, but not everyone respects what they're given there, inhabitants and tourists alike, so you may not have the greatest time.

Anyway, I could go on about lots of things, but this is already much longer than a lot of pastas here, so I'll let you breathe for a minute,
Have a g'day, mate,
FrenchTouch (talk).

PS: Your French is good, there is just a punctuation rule and an accent you missed, but it's alright.

Aw shit, that sucks. Given what you taught me about Wolf Dogs, I'm pretty glad that you live near the Ocean, because seafood is an international pleasure. Personally, I don't like oysters, but the Mediterranean Sea and the various other watercourses offer a very wide variety of fish and other stuff, even though I would like to know what kind of goodies you can get from the Pacific. The distance between you and San Francisco is good and bad at the same time, because at least you can get something good, but I'm sure you don't always have the energy to take your car and go on a 2-hour trip (maybe more due to traffic) just to go to a restaurant, eh?

Pretty much every state is totally different one from the other, I like to see the USA has the European Union, except better. Another problem some people have is that the USA "lacks" culture. I don't think it's true as is, but the country as a whole has less patrimony than the states individually, if that makes any sense.

If the climate there is like ours, then that must fucking suck. Not that I hate the climate, because I'm too stubborn to ever admit that anything is wrong with my city (been there since 8th century BC son,) but newcomers have a lot of trouble with the succession of snow, rain and sun days. Here's what I'm talking about. One thing I'm really glad about though, is that there aren't any hurricanes. But since I live next to a volcano, I don't think it matters a lot. I have to admit though, you're making me want to see Northern California, but right now, it's not something I can start thinking about, but soon, you may see a blue, white and red bastard ranting about how much everything is better at home in his native language. That means I'm enjoying myself. Speaking of vineyards, if only you could taste the wine here... So perfect. I know someone who's doing a pretty job, but I don't think you can get his products outside of France, sadly.

Well, I'm glad, you're not the typical American, and I'm not the typical French, we're made to go together (and then yell at each other after a massive hangover and shit,) though if you've been there, let me apologize for all the dog shit. I've heard that in the USA, the streets were clean of that, but everywhere in France, there's a lot of it, because y'know, it's not like people could be civilized. But hey, they treat their dogs better than they treat Muslims, so that's something, I guess. Though if you come to Nice, you'll be welcomed, after all, the Promenade des Anglais doesn't have this name for nothing. I'm sure you'll also like Quai des États-Unis. If and when you go there, though, tell me—I'll make sure that your time is spent well, I know some people and some places you may like.

Since you seem to have good taste, do you know any music I might not? We need a mix to get wasted on, son.
FrenchTouch (talk)

I know about the cabin part, but damn, that is the best name I've ever been given to witness for any place. It's even better than Brown Willy. (look it up, it's a true fact, Wikipedia that.)

I'd be hypocritical to care about refined, I think that the USA needs to be given more time, after all, this is quite a young country, given its size, it's only normal that it's not totally there. I can't listen to it right now, but I've peeked a little bit, and yeah, it sounds really good. I'm not delving into the lyrics right now but hey, it's good as is, thanks dude. I don't know if you're into folk metal, but if you are, you need to listen to Ensiferum, they're the bomb. Token of Time and Victory Song are definitely the best.

But that hippie commune makes me curious. What's the history of this place? Why Shit Fuck Piss? Why, just why? Why, Black Dynamite, why? Does it have something to do with getting fucked up and doing fucked up shit? My instinct says it does.

Tu as fait quelques fautes, mais j'apprécie ton engouement.
FrenchTouch (talk)

PS: Here's a French quote you might like: “En vieillissant, on devient plus fou et plus sage.”
(With age, one grows wiser and crazier.)
François VI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac, Les Réflexions ou Sentences et Maximes Morales

Well, that's atypic, but still quite nice—weird culture is still culture, after all, that only makes me want to see it for myself. Now you made me think of those tourist buses, if they came over to this commune:

— <bump> Shit! To your right, you have the commune of <bump> Fuck! I said the commune of Shit Fuck <bump> Piss!
— You alright, mister? Do you need any medical help?
— I'm doing al--<bump> Bitch!
— ... Where does all that smoke come from? And that... Smelly smell... urgh.

Jokes aside, it seems like a cool little town, I'm sure you and your family have lots of fun there.
By the way, I've listened to more of Chris' works, and the instrumental is great, the ideas for his music videos go really well with the lyrics of his songs, but again, the lyrics aren't too good, even though Everything is Clean seemed like a much bigger step forward towards very rich lyrics, so that's really good. So yeah, I think he is a great musician and director, I'll try to get him some more exposure.

Have a g'day mate,
FrenchTouch (talk)

I ain't talking shit tourists, son, I'm talking badass, machinegun-wielding big-bollocked warlords, who, like, only speak in black metal lyrics and shit. Those guys are crazy, you don't know what they did in New Orleans. You don't know where they come from. You don't know their story. They put mustard on their fries. And they eat their fries raw. With baby period blood on it. (yes I do know how periods work)

I'm not much of a social media guy, at all, to be fair, but I'll try to keep updated with what I have; I sincerely hope he gets to get a little more recognition, he's more talented than the current norm.

Hasta la few hours later, true believer,
FrenchTouch (talk)

Re: Wattpad

These are all of the links that I found that have reposted The Number of Darkness. (This is the only link that has cited you as the author.)

That's all I could find regarding this one. I might dig deeper and see if anyone else did this for any others' stories.

UPDATE: Uncited reposting of Looks Like We Got a Live One Here, Boys:

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. (talk) 17:47, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

another one

Half ass copied gym teacher. Same guy who turned characters in clown dogs into males(which I thought sort of oddly worked)

Edit: they've got several more of your stories as well. And it's even worse than I first thought: they've turned it direction fan fiction!!!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 21:02, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

My Review

Hi Humblodt. I finally got around to reading your story, Daddy's Little Princess. MrDupin (talk) 17:20, February 19, 2016 (UTC)

More Plagiarism

Hey Humboldt! I found this: [1] which doesn't credit you. I was torn on whether to report it or not as the user didn't outright claim it as their work, but they didn't claim it wasn't theirs either. Here's the rest of the list of stories they have posted: [2] I recognized a couple more from the wiki such as Banning's 'The Demon in the Mirror Trick' and 'Do NOT Buy An RT'. In future cases like this would rather I report what I come across or let you handle it? Buckle up! I'm going to be popular 07:26, February 21, 2016 (UTC)

The same user also had The Number of Darkness: [3] Buckle up! I'm going to be popular 07:33, February 21, 2016 (UTC)
Sure thing :) You put hard work into those stories and it pisses me off seeing them used without your permission (Plagiarism angers me anyway, but especially so in this case).
Yeah, I think a lot of it comes down to the large volume of stories that are submitted daily and them having no sort of "checks". I signed the Wattpad petition that Empyre made the other day, so hopefully others will too and that it encourages them to put safeguards into place. Oh, I'm trying to clear space on my desktop and I have plans to get Skype. I'll let you know when I download it and we can start chatting on there often. Take care, Humboldt! Buckle up! I'm going to be popular 20:54, February 21, 2016 (UTC)

Just found you in Cultured Vultures...

Hey, Matthew, I think I just found your name in this website. I'm pretty damn sure it was you, because your writing style was really obvious, and you explicitly stated in your bio that you write under the name "HumboldtLycanthrope" (which is this account I'm talking to).

I've read all your stories, but when I found out about this, I have to admit, I was pretty dumbfounded. I had no idea you had a story which is credited under your real name, and I also had no idea you'd be writing for a pretty obscure website (their content is of perfection, so I have no complaints). Well, I just want to say one thing: congrats you're actually earning 50 cents plus just by doing what you love. That's awesome, mate!

I'm also interested to contribute to CV. I'm underage, so I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to publish my articles and stuff. I'm thinking of asking, but I think the best thing to do first is to ask someone like you. What do you think? Am I allowed...? Thanks in advance!

RuckusQuantum 14:05, February 22, 2016 (UTC)

Hey, thank you for your support. I'm so excited to publish the articles I've written...
But truth be told, I'm torn apart; I have no idea what website I should contribute to. Dork Square seems really ideal to me; I like playing games and doing geeky stuff anyway, but I'm tempted to choose Cultured Vultures, since... well... I think I can share more stuff over there, other than my gaming knowledge (like graphic design and writing). I don't know.
Maybe I'll have a talk with Jimmy later. I might ask him tons of question to clarify some things up. If I know better, I'll submit my first article over there.
Good luck to me!
RuckusQuantum 04:24, February 23, 2016 (UTC)


Hey dude, Got wind of an anthology looking for submissions that appears to have been tailor made for you. Figured you'd want to take a look.

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 17:28, February 28, 2016 (UTC)

New story

Hey Matthew! I have a new pasta up on the Writer's Workshop. Please check it out, I wanna hear your opinion about it.

RuckusQuantum 08:17, March 3, 2016 (UTC)

Pasta review request

Hi Humboldt, I have a pasta out on the WW (yup, it's about time I wrote something) and I would be so grateful if you could check it out for me. It's dark, short and fun so I think you'll enjoy it.

By the way have you been writing anything recently? Rinskuro13 (talk) 18:57, March 4, 2016 (UTC)

Ah, sorry about that. It's been published now, but still feel free to check it out if you want. Here.
"The hate child of Stephen King"? Wow... can't wait to see this. (To be honest, I was secretly waiting for this day to come. I knew it would, really.) I'm super excited for you, and I know it'll be amazing. Congrats on all the hard work you put in. No spoilers but fill me in on some details; is it a mashup of short stories or one long story? Have you thought of a title yet?
Hopefully things go smoothly with publishing - agent or self publishing?
Best of luck Rinskuro13 (talk) 17:18, March 15, 2016 (UTC)
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