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EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:09, June 30, 2015 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:11, June 30, 2015 (UTC)

Re-uploaded story

Please don't re-upload your deleted story. It is against the rules. If you feel your story is well-written or meets the Quality Standards, make a case on deletion appeal or post it into our Writer's Workshop for comprehensive user review. If you re-upload a deleted pasta again, you will receive a 1-day suspension from editing.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:15, June 30, 2015 (UTC)

I actually deleted it originally for not being up to quality standards. I view stories that have those issues in editor mode so I can judge the quality and resolve it if the story is up to our standards or delete it if it's not. Yours unfortunately was not. Starting with the smaller issues. Don't indent paragraphs, that caused the issue in the beginning, also, there's no need to put three spaces between each paragraph as it makes the story seem stretched out. Also numbers nine or smaller (unless denoting monetary amounts or time) should be written out to give it a more formal feel. Onto the larger issues:

Punctuation issues: "It was a pleasant early summer afternoon in the town of Adams(,) Tennessee.", "“Yessiree Bob(comma missing) that was very impressive! 5 (Five) feet I declare!", "In one very smooth motion(,) he twirled his cane" Words that directly impact each other should be hyphenated: "dance like" (dance-like)

Wording issues: " Sun shining, white fluffy clouds, birds chirping, honeysuckle scent in the air, the whole bit." (Fragmented sentence) "5 (Five) feet I declare! You must have been 5 feet off the ground!" (redundant)

Capitalization issues: "The World", "The Old man", "No pupils, no Irises (irises). Solid black." (Also three broken sentences and black eyes are a bit of a cliche), "No Angels", etc. Sentences improperly capitalized: "those teeth, An (an)", "That means your great granny, She‘ll become just like me!" etc.

Spacing issues: "(too)rapidly", "heart(why", "His hair was almost dancing in the wind , (space not needed)", "better!”he", "“ In (space not needed) my day,", etc.

Story issues: The story has a descent build-up, but the devil's portion seems rushed and the ending needs more of an impact. The boy just rides his bike away from the old man and that's it. It's anti-climactic. For an example of how to improve your story, I would suggest reading Stephen King's short story, "The Man in the Black Suit". It has a similar premise, but the interaction and ending is more built up and creates a sense of resolution. Your story needs quite a bit of work and in its current form is not up to our quality standards. I would suggest taking it to the writer's workshop (link is above in the deletion message) and getting feedback before making a delation appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:43, June 30, 2015 (UTC)

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