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Jvhorror

  • Bio I'm half Hispanic. I live in the US. I've been fascinated with science fiction and horror for the majority of my life
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Welcome

Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Portal player page.

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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

ClericofMadness (talk) 21:29, August 8, 2017 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:33, August 8, 2017 (UTC)

If your story has already been posted and accepted n the site you can, if it's been deleted, you need an admin approval or a deletion appeal. Please note that the changes should be significant and correct issues that were found in the original. Please note that failure to do so will likely result in the story being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:28, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
The explanation for how the deletion appeal works is in the header of the page itself. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:02, September 26, 2017 (UTC)

Re: View

Typically if the post is up, someone will be around to review it within about a week (depending on people's schedules and how busy they are). There really isn't any need to add "Unreviewed" to it as most people can see by the number of posts if anyone has given advice yet. In the meantime, you can review old posts which people commented on and see if there are any errors they pointed out that are present in your story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:40, October 8, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Review 

Sure thing, I will check out your story as soon as I can. AViciousRainbow (talk) 16:41, October 11, 2017 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:28, June 23, 2020 (UTC)

Re: Deletion

It was deleted for failing to meet our quality standards. There were widespread capitalization, punctuation, spelling, awkward wording, fragmented/incomplete sentences, and plot issues.

Punctuation: Punctuation missing from dialogue. "‘Why not, I’m a great guy(comma missing)’", "‘I bet it’s because she’s busy with other guys’.(period should be within dialogue)", "‘She is so sexy(comma missing)’ he thinks to himself while gawking", etc.

Punctuation cont.: You also fail to use apostrophes with possessive words. "One of Jimmys hobbies is gawking At Breannas pics on MySpace.", "but also implies that Jimmy(apostrophe missing)s appetite for the girls is too peculiar.", "This makes him curious about what the hell goes around in his father(')s work.", etc.

Capitalization: Words are mis-capitalized and sentences are not properly capitalized. "One of Jimmys hobbies is gawking At (at) Breannas pics on MySpace.", "‘give (Give) them a second to breathe(comma missing)’", "However, one time Max got In (in) the way of Jimmys interactions", "“Dude, What (what) do you want? It’s four in the morning”", etc.

Awkward wording: "Sam stilts that he too is into females", "The next door neighbors are immensely acquainted with them you could say.", "Endless wise.", "Jimmy actually interacted in his school.", etc. I would suggest reading your story aloud to yourself to catch these errors as there's multiple instances of awkward wording found in every paragraph.

Multiple fragmented sentences: "The neighbors niece.", "Carrie.", "To be sly.", "Or bored.", "Then the initial location.", "Nothing.", etc.

Spelling: "The usp (UPS) guy just handed this to us”", "Carrie called Maxes (Max's) parents and they came right over", "Even Maxes (Max's) couple friends he had, stayed away from him.", "Jimmy made a vow to make Maxes (Max's) life miserable no matter what.", etc.

Plot issues: A lot of your story is told rather than shown to the audience. Lines like: "Jimmy is known for being sly and smooth with the ladies.", "His best friend at school is named Sam. They pretty much rely on each other for everything", "Even when Max presented his skills, the crowd usually disowned him. Both personally and in the popularity list." come off as bland without examples or actions showcasing these traits to the audience instead of telling them (especially since creeping on someone's MySpace doesn't seem like they're very smooth).

Plot issues cont.: The pacing of this story needs a lot of work. Key plot points are glossed over quickly and without any real focus. Lines like: "Carrie called Maxes parents and they came right over, thanked her, and took Max to the hospital" and "His throat had been cut. Jimmy felt anguish and fear like none other" come off as bland and really fail to build-up any sense of tension.

There are other issues here, but those were what I noticed while looking over it after it had been marked for review by one of our users. As a result, I decided to delete the story under our quality standards due to widespread capitalization, punctuation, spelling, awkward wording, fragmented sentences, ineffective descriptions, rushed pacing, and passive nature issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:22, June 24, 2020 (UTC)

Re: You're not blocked

You are not blocked. If you were, you wouldn't be able to comment, edit, messages, etc. The story I reviewed above was posted by another account and I locked that account for either plagiarizing work, impersonating another user, or being a sock account after that posted your story. I originally assumed it was an alternate account, but decided to give the benefit of the doubt before involving staff to do an IP check. Sorry for any confusion. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:38, June 26, 2020 (UTC)

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