FANDOM

NightmareCreator12

aka Zorlin the Majestic

  • I live in San Angelo, TX
  • I was born on November 15
  • My occupation is Story Creator
  • I am Male

Welcome

Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:NightmareCreator12 page.

Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked.

Read some new pastas by checking out the article index or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:10, January 2, 2015 (UTC)

Warning

A number of categories you recently tagged to a story were in violation of the rules we have listed in Genre Listing. Categories like beings, monsters, ghosts, gods, cryptids, etc. should not be tagged together. Please read the rules listed in that section before adding more categories as the next infraction will result in a one day ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:03, January 2, 2015 (UTC)

Re:

Starting with the smaller issues first: I would strongly suggest avoiding second person perspective. It limits character development and action. (As you have to take everyone into account when writing in that style and are limited in your choices.) I would also restrict ellipses use to only indicate pauses in dialogue and omission of words from a quote. A comma or period serves the same purpose in the story itself and comes off as less melodramatic. I would also avoid starting sentences with conjunctions and capitalizing entire words to signify screaming. (Exclamation points serve the same purpose making it seem a bit redundant. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Grammatical issues: you're=you are, your=possession. "It's as if your (sic) paralyzed...", " However, you're (sic) nightmare has just begun I'm afraid..."

Wording issues: "However, you can't seem to get comfortable or (and) have the urge to get up...", "All you can do is lay in awe as the noises keep erupting from outside your bedroom door." (Consider re-phrasing "erupting" to emanating.), "You attempt to look around with your eyes(redundant), and as successful as you are (consider re-phrasing), you find a shadowy figure at the corner of the furthest wall...(ellipses seem unnecessary)", "For you see, I'm the shadowy figure in your parallel (periphery?), ..."

The dialogue also has some problems: "Nothing can stop you now from the threshold of my grasp!", "Thank God for an ending!". There are also cliches here with the being always being in one's periphery and sleep paralysis (Old Hag syndrome) is far too common in pastas about dreams and sleep. Finally dysania is a condition in which someone has difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. This seems like it would be better suited for a first or third person narrative as it is not a very prevalent condition so the fact that a majority of the readers not having the condition breaks immersion. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as they are very good at spotting and identifying these issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:10, January 2, 2015 (UTC)

More Warnings

Do not nominate your own story for "pasta of the month". It is against the rules. (For obvious reasons.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:13, January 3, 2015 (UTC)

Don't

Do not blank messages from your page, especially warnings. The next infraction will result in a day long ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:21, January 3, 2015 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.

SoPretentious 04:01, September 9, 2015 (UTC)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.