FANDOM

Welcome

Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Midnight And Sparkle page.

Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked.

Read some new pastas by checking out the article index or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:26, July 5, 2015 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:37, July 5, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Story

Starting with the basics, Please avoid indenting paragraphs as it causes formatting issues. This is how your story was formatted:

"Alexis sat at the dining room table, surrounded by all of
her family and friends. A mass of presents covered the entirety of the table,
looming over her like a monument. A few of the gifts were still wrapped, but
most had already been opened."

Punctuation issues: punctuation missing from dialogue. "Make a wish and blow out the candles, dear(comma/period)" her", "Make it a good one(,/.)", "Now listen dear"", etc. Single quotes used in place of quotations: "'You know what to wish for(,/.)'", "'It's what you've always wanted(,/.)'", "'Going for a stroll?'", etc. This is odd as you use proper quotations for most dialogue, but every now and then devolve to using apostrophes.

Punctuation cont.: Question marks missing from questions. ""How!(?)" Alexis yelled out." "How are you doing this!(?)"", ""What have you Done (done?)""

Capitalization issues: nouns do not need to be capitalized: "the Cake", "the Table", "Real Friends!", "Her brother. ", etc. Proper nouns like names, places, and titles should be capitalized, but nouns should not. Words improperly capitalized after dialogue: ""I am now"(,/.) Replied (replied)", ""I want you to go too." She (she) said,", etc.

Story issues: unrealistic names. How many people do you know are named 'Midnight' or 'Sparkle'. Those are two extremely out of place names and the fact that you switch out Lexi and Sparkle only deepens the confusion. The story also comes off as nonsensical as well, switching from a birthday party to a mental asylum with little explanation or reasoning.

The ending: ""Well guess What (what)!?" Midnight said, as he popped up right on top of her. "I LIED!"" Comes off as anticlimactic, especially since we don't know Midnight's motivations or intentions. All in all, the story feels rushed and problematic. Those were a few of the reasons why I decided it was not up to our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:20, July 5, 2015 (UTC)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.