FANDOM

ShawnCognitionCP

  • I live in Unknown Kadath
  • My occupation is Horror Author
(Difference between revisions) | User:ShawnCognitionCP
(In Torment: new section)
Line 476: Line 476:
   
 
[[User:Wes craven|Wes craven]] ([[User talk:Wes craven|talk]]) 06:39, July 1, 2015 (UTC)
 
[[User:Wes craven|Wes craven]] ([[User talk:Wes craven|talk]]) 06:39, July 1, 2015 (UTC)
  +
  +
== In Torment ==
  +
  +
Your story starts off fairly well. I don't really have an issue with the Prologue. Though, why is Jackson associating the creature with God first? Personally, I would associate it with Satan or some other religious "evil" figure.
  +
  +
Then we get to Genesis, and apparently the entire thing was just a dream. There's not a big issue with this, but it's a pretty common technique.
  +
  +
Natalie seems like a bitch. They've got plans to hang out today, but it seemed to come across as rude when she says "We wouldn't care to hear either!"
  +
  +
One of the things that I'd like to note is that you feel your stories have gotten philosophical. In this story, you have the characters ''directly discussing philosophy.'' This isn't a bad thing, considering the story basically reads as a metaphor to Hell and Satan.
  +
  +
"Jackson laughed at the two. "Getting all philosophical already? A bit to early for that, guys. I chose the strangest friends.""
  +
  +
A bit too early for that*
  +
  +
Another thing to note is that some of the sentence structure and phrasing seems a bit awkward.
  +
  +
The time thing is weird. It's actually quite common to hang out for a while and not even notice how long it's been. What is so shocking about that?
  +
  +
Other than that, I can't see anything of big note with a brief skim-through. The writing is most of the way plot and stylistically solid, though I do feel that a bit more build-up could've helped. The story felt like it progressed fairly quickly, but you do a good job of showing, not telling. I'll try and read the other one as well, sometime this week. [[User:Senjumaru Shutara|Senjumaru]] [[User talk:Senjumaru Shutara|Shutara]] 21:06, July 5, 2015 (UTC)

Revision as of 21:06, July 5, 2015

Welcome

Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Madman Vincent page.

Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Violation of these rules will result in your account being blocked.

Read some new pastas by checking out the Article Listing or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page.

Do not forget to add any story you create/upload to the Article Listing. If, after 30 minutes from adding a page, you neglect to put that page on the Article Listing, you will receive a 1 day block as stated in the rules. This is not the same as adding it to the User Submissions page.

If you upload OC (Original Content; something that you wrote instead of found on the internet), be sure to tag it with the OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page as per the rules. If you mark a page as OC and do not add it to the User Submissions page, you will be warned first then blocked from editing for a day the next time it happens. The OC tag will also be removed. The same thing goes for putting a page on the Submissions and not tagging it as OC. This does not count as adding it to the Article Listing, though. This is an extra step for OC.

Ban

Dude. Think next time. I really did not want to do that. Oh well. I'm lessening the ban to two hours, okay? Skelly said it was up to me on that one.

♒Castiels Nipples♒ Cronus howv about you just givwe me your number? 01:12, October 25, 2013 (UTC)

so hi i found you to be quite an interesting one. hit me up some time on my wall if you like.

kinda sucks how those whole jeff spinoffs are crazy and i mean i have been writing a much well written Jeff story about his childhood. very detailed and im still continuing but its different in a way of a small 5 year old losing his mother to his psychopathic father telling him not to cry or hes going to make him smile bigger and have a "brighter face."  itell you that is quite dark. and i have had others tell me it was really dark and sort of well written but i dont know. ChubbyBloodyBunny (talk) 19:12, November 12, 2013 (UTC)

RE:

Well...it was mostly because I couldn't decide on the length. One week didn't seem enough, to be honest. 

I had overlooked the first time I had seen it, in the logs Ednoah had posted publicly, but instead of banning I dismissed it as a one-time happening, but then it happened again...

Shawn, I'm willing to cut the ban to half the length if you please, please, promise it won't happen again.

Also, can you show me a screenshot or something about Ednoah's doings? It would help a lot.

"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 12:15, December 13, 2013 (UTC)

Bby, I miss you,

I can promise it wot happen again, so much that if it does, i will ask for a perma-ban.~Shawn

Okei dokie <3


Eyeless Jack Eyeless jack by anxiouschemist-d6fh4ad Shuddup and Take Mah MONEYZ 14:46, December 16, 2013 (UTC)

Heyyyyooo

Eyeless Jack Eyeless jack by anxiouschemist-d6fh4ad Shuddup and Take Mah MONEYZ 17:33, February 4, 2014 (UTC)

Re:

Really now, I don't believe I have spoken to Trityn as of late. More so in the time since I left my position I have learned a lot about how I should treat people and I have been trying to apply that to this wiki. In fact I have been a lot more open with people and have taken to explaining myself in PM instead of getting into arguments in order to really understand where they are coming from. I know I have been a terrible person in the past and I know I have hurt a lot of people but I want to change that so that I don't hurt anyone again or drive anyone away from this site.

As for the fixing and adding stuff I get busy. I do mean to do it but it just get buried under all of the other more pressing matters. I try to help users on as many wikis as possible thus my work load tends to pile up and sometimes I forget things and I am truely sorry for that. In order to attempt to make it up to this community I have added QC back to the chat with a few helpful commands that are free to use and all that I ask is that they aren't abused. In the future I will add more but for the time being I am too busy to do that.

Best regards, Lil' Miss Rarity ]Open Source[ (talk)

RE: Oceanic Pasta

Yeah, sure. Give me a link and give me a few days and I'll get back to you. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 12:00, August 16, 2014 (UTC)

Have you heard from Jim lately?

I thought he'd reappear now that CPWC has been reopened, but I haven't heard from him for 2-3 months. Likferd (talk) 02:59, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

Incorrect Category

Do not add the Deletion Appeal category to any articles. It is a separate part of the site and is only used for deleted stories that are awaiting appeal, which do not show up as articles until approved. If you think a pasta should be deleted, add the deletenow template instead. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I'd rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 21:52, October 2, 2014 (UTC) That is what I attempted to do, and failed. Different wikis work differently, and I am still getting re-situated. Apologies for inconveniences. Happy Halloween! (talk) 21:54, October 2, 2014 (UTC)

Re

Thanks for your two cents. You've completely changed my outlook on life. Mystreve (talk) 03:52, November 20, 2014 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


Likferd (talk) 06:24, December 13, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry Shawn, can't make exceptions for friends. You might want to post your story to the Writer's Workshop for criticism.

Hello There

It's me, David Rombouts (A.K.A. TheCreator14), I just wanted to ask a favor. Will you check out this pasta of mine? Possibly review it like you did with 'The Depths of Curiosity"? It's called Red Rover, "Red Rover".

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Red_Rover,_Red_Rover

TheCreator14 (talk) 02:58, January 3, 2015 (UTC)TheCreator14


Hello, this is Mariko Pratt (A. K. A, Mmpratt99 deviantart). I'm responding to your suggestion you left on my recent blog--Question About Writer's Workshop Board. Well, this recent story submission is in need of good review. Maybe if you have time, you can possibly look it over and tell me what improvements are needed. It's called "The Gorgon's Smile," and it's the second sequel to "Doorway to Darkness."

 http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:416018

--Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 00:42, January 15, 2015 (UTC)

Marked for Review

Just so you know, if you want to tag a story as M4R, you can use the M4R template. You simply add M4R to the top of the low quality page! replacing reason with the reason it has been marked for review. This is useful as it allows editors to quickly see what's wrong with a story without having a guess. If you have any questions about this, just let me know. As a side note, this template will automatically add the "Marked for Review" category.

By the way, when you tag articles for review, you should remove all other categories - it's like a quarantine. Best regards, Underscorre - Talk to me 20:48, January 9, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry for the confusion! I'll be sure to change the way I go about it right now. :) ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 20:55, January 9, 2015 (UTC)

The story you just marked for review

When you marked Ronald McDonald House for review, it had just been vandalised. Could you let me know if it was the vandalised version or the normal version (I've fixed it now) that you felt was not up to scratch as soon as possible? Regards, Underscorre - Talk to me 19:12, January 12, 2015 (UTC)


The none-Vandalized version. The normal version falls in the "Caps isn't scary" category. It uses caps lock for both suspense and horror, a huge mistake. Also, it is an Abandoned by Disney rip off. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 19:15, January 12, 2015 (UTC)

Reviews

I heard you accept requests to review pastas.

I have a pasta in the Writer's Workshop that I would like some feedback on as it's my first proper attempt at a pasta in several months.

[[1]]

It's a first draft as I wrote it on the site instead of on a word document first. There are spelling mistakes, but I can't edit Writer's Workshop posts so I can't do anything about them until I put it up on the site. Just a heads up.

Also, if I can request two instances of feedback, I would like a second opinion on another story of mine; Hartley's Friend

--Cyanwrites (talk) 18:38, January 14, 2015 (UTC)

I'll review it now. Take care ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 18:42, January 14, 2015 (UTC)


Hello Shawn. I'm Michael (Blacknumber1 - like the Type O Negitive song). I'm currently writing a story. It's nearly complete and is in the writers workshop for critique. A warning: It is long. If you get around to it, let me know your opinion. I'm working on editing as I always allow several mistakes to slip through the cracks. Thanks in advance. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:415434

I will look at it soon after I am finished with the other review. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 18:51, January 14, 2015 (UTC)

So sorry man, left a message on your profile page intead of talk.  My bad.

Re

I assume you plan to release all the different sections at once? If so, you should be okay, as long as you release the others in ~5 mins of the first one being uploaded. This means all the formatting, etc will have to be complete before you start uploading. If I see them, I'll not delete them for being unfinished/QS. If I'm misunderstanding what you mean, let me know. Regards, Underscorre - Talk to me 06:53, January 15, 2015 (UTC)

Yes, at least the first 2 sections will be released within 5 minutes. Thank you for clearing this up with me. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 11:17, January 15, 2015 (UTC)


Hey, I saw you review pasta and was wondering if you'd check out mine.  It's called Clown Dogs.  I'm new hear and looking to get some feed back.  Thanks.HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:51, January 22, 2015 (UTC)

Requesting reviews

Hey Shawn,

Would love for you to take a look at some of my work and give me some feedback. I also read that you do readings, and I would be most honored if any of my work could get there. Here are the links to my stories that I would appreciate you taking a look at.

Secret Bar

The Demon Tobit of Delphia

For Love and Hot Chocolate

Love Always

Joe Montana Saves the Princess

Thanks in advance, I look forward to hearing back from you.

Banningk1979 (talk) 05:30, January 27, 2015 (UTC)

I'll happily take a look at your stories. I do paragraph-by-paragraph dissections, meaning each paragraph gets it's own mini-review. I think it allows the author to see exactly what image they are putting in the viewer's heads more. I don't do youtube reading, the youtube videos will be parts of my upcoming series, In Torment, but filmed out. I do however, work as an efficient advertiser and have no doubt in my mind I could get one of them read. I'll take a look at them all as my schedule allows. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 17:22, January 27, 2015 (UTC)

Just some friendly advice- Banning may or may not see this message since it's on your talk page.  The normal protocol is to leave the message on his talk page to ensure his seeing it.
Jay Ten (talk) 17:48, January 27, 2015 (UTC)

Paganism

In case you missed this comment in the blog:

Hi, Shawn.  I may be posting some pastas that are stereotypical of paganism; but, I wanted to let you know that my wife and I were married by a Wiccan priestess and that I understand Satanism has been a great force in helping people overcome the guilt and moral confinement of Christianity.  So, please, if you ever read any of my pasta that offends your pagan sensibilities understand that I am just having fun and being silly and just trying to be creepy with it.

HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:46, January 28, 2015 (UTC)

Outstanding!

Thank you so much, I look forward to reading your feedback.

Thanks,

Banningk1979 (talk) 23:01, January 28, 2015 (UTC)

Possible Review?

Hi Shawn,

I hope I am not too late to ask for a review, seeing that Banningk got here first, but if you have some time, I would really appreciate it if you reviewed two of my stories. I recently took up writing again and I would really need to know about the mistakes I make.

I am in no hurry, so please, first review Banningk's stories and then if you want you can take a look at mine.

Here are my stories:

Thief
Mother's Love (short story)

MrDupin (talk) 10:19, January 29, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Review Request

Reviewing stories has never been one of my strengths, but I'll give it a read when I get the time. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 16:19, February 3, 2015 (UTC)

Check it out

Got a new story posted today, Tobit: The Bleeding Sky. Give it a read when you get a chance and let me know what you think.

Banningk1979 (talk) 02:03, February 4, 2015 (UTC)

Invitation

Hey Shawn, it's Tyber.

I just finished production of a Creepypasta Narration, and I was inviting some people over to check it out. I was wondering if you'd like to join us. Here's the link to the blog it's posted in if you're interested. Have a good week!

Tyberzannisultra (talk) 00:04, February 5, 2015 (UTC)

You're turn

You're turn: He Was a New Man got a 10/10 in the freestyle contest.  Love to hear what you have to say. Thanks HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:03, February 8, 2015 (UTC)

Hey man, open judge spot in the Freestyle Challenge.  Still interested?

Blacknumber1 (talk) 19:11, February 9, 2015 (UTC)

Welcome!

Shawn, ok man.  It's official.  You are a panel judge!  You can begin assigning and rating entries.  Welcome and thanks for taking some of the pressure off of us.

Blacknumber1 (talk) 12:46, February 10, 2015 (UTC)

You can do so even now.  As long as the challenge is still on. We still have open slots for the finals i believe.  Definitely in the finals too.Blacknumber1 (talk) 20:55, February 11, 2015 (UTC)

Freestyle Finals

Hey Shawn,

Thought I should let you know, the last spot in the finals has just been taken. There's a list of all the finalists here. I've added a comment to the suggestion thread for us to discuss the finals - it's here.

Can't wait for the finals to begin!

Underscorre (talk) 20:02, February 12, 2015 (UTC)

Quick note about contacting thee finalists

Hey, please take a quick look at my latest comment here, as it explains how to contact the finalists.

Regards, Underscorre (talk) 19:15, February 18, 2015 (UTC)

Heads Up

Just a heads up, for convenience, you should be contacting your group via their talk pages in ~1 hour. The list of groups & names is here.

Underscorre (talk) 23:09, February 19, 2015 (UTC)

FYI

We're meant to rate finalists out of 100, not out of 10. Underscorre (talk) 20:51, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

I'll fix it nowShawnHowellsCP (talk) 20:56, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

Comic Book Excerpts

Here are some excerpts from my comics. I use a variety of genres (superhero, detective, humor, romance, horror, etc.). I hope you can read the print all right. I apologize for the fact that some pages scanned crookedly. The first three pages have scenes with the husband and wife vigilantes Suggestion and Bultungin. Suggestion can control minds via speech (like Pusher on The X-Files) while Bultungin can turn into a werehyena (“Bultungin” is a Bornu word meaning “I transform myself into a hyena”). Here Suggestion has a seizure and has to be rescued by Bultungin. For the record, the seizure he’s experiencing is a unique (and fictional) kind in which the person can be moved while experiencing it, but only in a special way and very carefully. The subplot with the bat men involves a hero deciding to check himself into treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. I decided I was sick and tired of comics in which the hero experiences unimaginable horrors, but never shows any signs of being affected by it.

The next two pages are from an issue in which a man is turned into a were-creature after exposure to the radiation of a strange meteorite. I like to do stories with werebeasts.

The last three pages are from a graphic novel I did called The Afrit, in which a soldier starts to go insane and has nightly visions of being tormented by a wicked jinni. Later on in the issue there’s a scene in which the sleeping quarters are oddly silent, and then there’s a loud screeching sound. His comrades awake to find him sitting on the head of his bed. He’s clutching his rifle, and to their confusion and alarm he solemnly tells them, “It’s not coming again.” There’s ultimately a positive ending, but before that there’s a devil of a climax.

I hope you like them! Raidra (talk) 12:48, February 25, 2015 (UTC)

Next Tobit installment is complete

Hey,

Just wanted to let you know my latest Tobit story is posted:

Tobit: Blood and Obligations

Looking forward to one of your awesome reviews!

Banningk1979 (talk) 07:41, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

facebook

Did you ever receive my FB request? It was Joseph Giovanni Perrotta.

Also you just passed one of the most sacred edit counts on this wiki (for anyone) btw. --"The good mean well. We just don't always end up doing well." ~ Isaac (talk) 04:28, March 5, 2015 (UTC)

Fairytale from HELL

I have just written the sweetest little fairytale.  It is just charming.  Enjoy hehehe Rumplestilskin HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:48, March 5, 2015 (UTC)

No worries

I'll be happy to give it a good look over. I'll have something for you in the next day or so.

By the way, have you had a chance to read my latest story, Tobit: Blood and Obligations?

Best,

Banningk1979 (talk) 09:02, March 8, 2015 (UTC)

You should add categories

So, I helped in in cleaning up In Torment and it's coming together quite nicely. I would suggest that you add categories to it now, to help sort it properly into the site. Please let me know if you need any further assistance.

Banningk1979 (talk) 21:26, March 8, 2015 (UTC)

Friends?

I don't know how that escalated like that, and I wasn't saying anything bad about your work.  You are a good writer with a great imagination, haven't I always said so in my comments?  I was just getting frustrated at all the hate I've been seeing out here- the blog about Blacknumber in particular.  I noticed it always seems to come from users who aren't the best writers.  Bro, I seriously respect your passion and dedication to this weird new form of literature, and I understand that if we want this stuff to ever be accepted in the main stream as a legitimate art form then we need people with your type of enthusiasm and dedication.   I seriously wasn't taking any shots at you.  As for Rukus, I still believe if he wants to point the finger he should clean up his work.  HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:45, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

Categories

Just wanted to let you know that Monsters and Beings are mutually exclusive categories. I'll leave it up to you to remove the one you want.

Jay Ten (talk) 01:49, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

Was just about to mention that... EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:52, March 9, 2015 (UTC)
I removed it for you, they're trying to set up the Venus skin lately so it could be a glitch. (I didn't have any issues removing it, but I am using a different format than the wiki format. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:00, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Messages

It seems kinda in the past now, but if you want, you can message him to see if he wants them gone (At work currently) and I can delete them when you reach a consensus. (and I get home.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:51, March 12, 2015 (UTC)

Black Metal Pasta

I just wrote a black metal pasta.  Sons of Odin  Would you give it a read and tell me all the things I got wrong? Thanks  HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 19:35, March 21, 2015 (UTC)

New Tobit Story

Hey bro,

Just completed my latest Tobit story, Tobit: From Love Comes Damnation.

Please check it out,

Banningk1979 (talk) 22:04, April 9, 2015 (UTC)

Sisters of Tobit Have Arrived

Hey Shawn,

Just wanted to write and tell you my newest Tobit story is up, Tobit: The Grim Sorority of Tabitha Shaw. Give it a read when you get a chance.

Thanks,

Banningk1979 (talk) 22:38, April 14, 2015 (UTC)

Speaking of Tobit

Hey Shawn,

Have you had a chance to read over my two latest Tobit installments, Tobit: From Love Comes Damnation and Tobit: The Grim Sorority of Tabitha Shaw?

Check 'em out!

Banningk1979 (talk) 17:59, April 30, 2015 (UTC)

RE:

I see Emp's taken care of it for you. For future reference, putting a colon in front of the link (so it looks like this: [[:Category:Suggested Reading]]) prevents that from happening - the same goes for file links.

« UnderScorre » 06:19, May 2, 2015 (UTC)

A Creepypasta In Need of a Review

Greetings ShawnHowellsCP I noticed you saw my blog, and commented so I thought I'd check out your user account. Then I saw that you wright reviews and was very pleased by this because I have an old Creepypasta that still hasn't been reviewed by any of the people I've presented it to, and I'm really about to give up on it. It would be great if you could review it for me, the pasta is Just My Nightmare, I want to know what was good, what needs work, and what needs to be changed that sort of thing, and don't worry be as harsh as you want, I can take criticism, its what I'm looking for afterall.

Thanks in advance Cartoon Reaper (talk) 04:10, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

Thank You For The Critique

Thanks for the critique it was very informative, which is what I was looking for. I'll make sure to fix the grammar and awkward phrasing when I have the time, and I'll also fix any dialog problems as I now know to fix them. I'll also fix the ellipsis as I often make that mistake and didn't catch it the first time around, I'll try to polish up the ending, and run on sentences to hopefully make this a much better read overall. So again thank you for the critique it is much appreciated, and very helpful.

--Cartoon Reaper (talk) 16:57, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

My pleasure

It's no bother at all, I'll be happy to look it over and give you some feedback.

Best,

Banningk1979 (talk) 17:35, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

Posted review

Hey Shawn,

Just reviewed your story. Needless to say, I love the plot. The major issues, as I pointed out in the review, were of the grammatical variety. Just take it through spell check a couple of times and you should be able to fix most of that. 

You've got a great series concept on your hands here and I really look forward to seeing where this one goes. If you need any further assistance or advice, please feel free to reach out.

Banningk1979 (talk) 18:25, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

Re In Torment

Hey, buddy.  You're not bothering me at all.  Feel free to drop me a line anytime.  I will try to eventually get to your story but there is a bit of a line at the moment.  Summer is the busiest time of year for me and I'm putting in 12-13 hour days right now--on my lunch break at the moment.  So, after I get through all the other requests I will get to yours.  I was actually going to message you because I know you are a huge music lover, I wrote a punk rock pasta Under a Rotting Sky, I'd love to hear what you think of it .  Thanks, check you later.  666 HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 19:33, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

Potential Error

I saw that you left Empyre a message on his talk page and I just wanted to let you know that you called him Durpin. I didn't think you meant to do that, but meant to do that on Mr. Dupin's talk page, so I thought I'd let you know. If you meant to then please excuse my nosiness and carry on :) Buckle up! I'm going to be popular! 20:58, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

The intro paragraph to all the messages I sent out were the same, so I just copy/pasted it and forgot to change the name. Thanks for telling me! ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 21:01, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

I figured that's the case, because I do stuff like that all the time XD. I nearly fixed it for you, but decided not to in case it was a joke between you two. Buckle up! I'm going to be popular! 21:14, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Review Request

I'm afraid I'm terribly busy till July. I will get to your story eventually, but it will take long.

If you don't have a problem with waiting, I will read/review your story in the first week of July. If you have updated your story by that time, let me know. MrDupin (talk) 21:32, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Review Request

I will get to it eventually, but it will probably take a while. By the end of July I will have reviewed it, if you are willing to wait. MrDupin (talk) 17:57, June 14, 2015 (UTC)

absolutely

I'd be glad to. Give me a little time. I can get to it a little at a time but I've been looking foreword to it. Blacknumber1 (talk) 18:40, June 14, 2015 (UTC)

I'll check it out!

Hey bro,

I'll be sure to check it out and leave you some feedback soon.

Best,

Banningk1979 (talk) 21:57, June 14, 2015 (UTC)

Careful throwing around literary terms if you don't know what they mean

I didn't want to call you out on the blog but canon is not a verb as in, "my stories are canon to eachother" (also eachother is not a word, it is each other). The literary canon is simply a group of literary works that are the most important of a particular time and place.  As in, I believe the creepypasta canon would include Psychosis, Cure for Cancer, and Smile Dog.  To include your own work in the canon would mean that you consider your stories some of the most important and influential creepypastas ever written.  You should make sure you know what you are talking about when you throw around literary terminology or else you can make yourself  appear to be not so "outstandingly smart".  Perhaps you meant to say, my stories all share the same world or realm or mythos, as in "the novels of Irvine Welsh all take place in the same fictional world."  I hope this helps.  If you ever have any questions about literary terminology feel free to ask me.  HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 20:06, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

Um, heads up. Canon means they belong with each other. All TES games are canon to TES games. If my stories were canon to each other, it means they all take place together, and are all in the same mythos. Your definition of canon is the faulty one.

"Canon (fiction), the conceptual material accepted as "official" in a fictional universe"

Also, if you couldn't tell, it wasn't serious when I referred to myself as all those things. I mean "heroic?" Who the fuck goes around calling themselves heroic?

Eachother is also a nonstandard word, but it does exist. It is in the same category as "aint". It isn't widely accepted, it isn't official, but it is used here and there. When writing a story, yeah, these things matter. but writing on a blog at the very hour you are about to go to sleep? It's justified to use it.

I'm an underground writer, who writes just as a form of getting ideas and even viewpoints out there. Mostly everything I write is metaphorical, and it certainly isn't for everyone.

I feel you took simple horseplay far to much to heart. It's a blog post. It isn't exactly a super serious area to frequent. We go there, fuck around, talk about stupid things, sometimes even irrelevant things. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 20:19, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

                     Pardon me, I see.  I am not a gamer or writer of fan fiction so I have never heard this term used as a verb.  But trust me, in the academic world the literary canon is a collection of the most important works of literature.  I was wrong,  So sorry about that. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 20:34, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

No harm done, no offense taken. I'm not a fan of fanfiction either, but as a gamer, that's the meaning of the word I came to use. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 21:12, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


Additionally this should be in the blog section of Blacknumber's 'not a contest' blog or relegated to its own blog due to its length. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:52, June 17, 2015 (UTC)

Nice story, but....

dude, I would have totally pulled out all her teeth, locked her head in a specially crafted metal frame that clamped her mouth open, and used her face as a toilet.  I'm pretty sure Blacknumber would have stabbed her in the abdamon and used the wound as a hole to fuck.  And Banning would somehow have made a happy ending of the whole thing. I got one up right now: This is NOT a contest part 2, The Dupin Files. If you want to write about Dupin, head on over there and show us what you got. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 19:03, June 17, 2015 (UTC)

New Tobit Chapter

Hey Shawn,

New Tobit story out, so you know I would love some feedback.

Tobit: Hiya Toby and the Unwashed

Thanks,

--Banningk1979 (talk) 04:44, June 24, 2015 (UTC)

I am busy until Sunday, and will read your story then. Looking forward to it very much. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 05:05, June 25, 2015 (UTC)

Hey Shawn, I recently saw that you liked the story I wrote titled "From Hell I Write". I just published a sequel to it, titled "Nancy's Angelface". I was wondering if you would like to read it and offer me feedback. Since you were a fan of the first story, I have no doubt you'll like this one! 

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Nancy's_Angelface

Wes craven (talk) 06:39, July 1, 2015 (UTC)

In Torment

Your story starts off fairly well. I don't really have an issue with the Prologue. Though, why is Jackson associating the creature with God first? Personally, I would associate it with Satan or some other religious "evil" figure.

Then we get to Genesis, and apparently the entire thing was just a dream. There's not a big issue with this, but it's a pretty common technique.

Natalie seems like a bitch. They've got plans to hang out today, but it seemed to come across as rude when she says "We wouldn't care to hear either!"

One of the things that I'd like to note is that you feel your stories have gotten philosophical. In this story, you have the characters directly discussing philosophy. This isn't a bad thing, considering the story basically reads as a metaphor to Hell and Satan.

"Jackson laughed at the two. "Getting all philosophical already? A bit to early for that, guys. I chose the strangest friends.""

A bit too early for that*

Another thing to note is that some of the sentence structure and phrasing seems a bit awkward.

The time thing is weird. It's actually quite common to hang out for a while and not even notice how long it's been. What is so shocking about that?

Other than that, I can't see anything of big note with a brief skim-through. The writing is most of the way plot and stylistically solid, though I do feel that a bit more build-up could've helped. The story felt like it progressed fairly quickly, but you do a good job of showing, not telling. I'll try and read the other one as well, sometime this week. Senjumaru Shutara 21:06, July 5, 2015 (UTC)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.