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Shaydarkness

aka Shay

  • I live in With my Grandma
  • My occupation is Wrighting a Book
  • I am Female

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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 19:58, February 19, 2016 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

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EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:02, February 19, 2016 (UTC)

^ It was well-below our quality standards. Starting with the basics, it was one large paragraph that cut off sentences onto the next line. "This is my first night in the home of peace. And I hate it. I miss the death caused (line break)" There are also a lot of punctuation issues: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied ("Some try to escape but all fail(,) the house was rigged to keep them in like mice in a maze(,/.) even"), apostrophes missing from possessive words and contractions or incorrectly using an accent mark ("she wakes shell find", "peace she`ll have in her life", etc.), etc. You forget to capitalize multiple sentences ("tea. she’s still unconscious"). Numerous spelling errors: "braking those bones"
Run-on sentences: "Cutting off her hair, making small cuts in her legs and arms and pouring salt in them, filling cups with her own blood and making her drink it the more she coughs up the more she has to drink, pouring acid on her skin melting off her skin and muscle till you see bone, braking those bones taking them out and smashing them into little pieces right in front of her, watching as rats and maggots fill the holes in her leg letting them feed on her"
Story issues: The story feels extremely rushed, relies too heavily on gore without any real focus on why. The story doesn't even have a real driving plot, it's just a psychopath explaining that one time he murdered someone and then the story ends. I'm sorry, but this needs a lot of work and fleshing out. As it stands, it falls well-below our quality standards due to numerous formatting, punctuation, capitalization, spelling, wording, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:21, February 19, 2016 (UTC)
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