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The Flea bitten Wolf

aka Lone

  • I live in not telling you. it would endanger me
  • I was born on September 24
  • My occupation is again not telling
  • I am Male

Welcome

Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Jeff the Killer page.

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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:21, May 25, 2014 (UTC)

Hello

Those messages are automated, but I'd be more than glad to try to help you out. The first piece of advice I can offer is to type your stories out on word pad or something and then copy / paste it into the window. This will allow you to spell check it and save so you don't have to type it all in one sitting. Also make sure to click the preview button before submitting to make sure there are no formatting issues. It is frustrating to finally submit a story and have it come out as a massive wall of text or a weird scrolling box because it wasn't properly spaced. Also avoid clichés (spin-off and blacklisted items too) like the plague. Ending a story with "I'm behind you, watching you read this!" or another cliché can sink a story fast.

Finally the best piece of advice I can give: use the writer's workshop. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Board:Writer%27s_Workshop Post your rough draft to them and get feedback before uploading it and the story will be all the more better. I've used the WW twice so far and they make my stories exponentially better. The users working on the WW providing feedback and assistance are amazing.

Lemme know if I can be of any more assistance.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:02, May 27, 2014 (UTC)

Categories

Sure go ahead.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:46, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

Its about a wolf human hybrid like firgure, he's tired of people killing opr hunting wolves and he's lived for centuries. the person in the story which is told from 1st person is being hunted by the Pack Leader as I call him because he is linked to a person who hurts dogs and wolves, his girlfriend. I dont know which catogory he would go in. I think he would go in animals, beings, or monsters

The Flea bitten Wolf (talk) 00:01, August 7, 2014 (UTC)

I would put that under either Beings or Monsters. (More likely Beings as the protagonist seems capable of higher-thought/morality and his seemingly immortal nature seems to fit best with beings.) To be perfectly honest, you could put it in either category and could argue for its inclusion in that category. In my opinion, it seems more like it'd fit into the beings category. Are you taking this story to the writer's workshop for some feedback/assistance? EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:08, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
thank you and I am thinking of putting it in the writers workshop but like I said I dont really like to ask for help. but I'll give it a shot. thank you for your help 
The Flea bitten Wolf (talk) 00:14, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
Break up the paragraphs, it looks like a wall of text and is almost impossible to read. (I marked it for review, but the sooner you fix it, the better. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:15, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
Ok I put some spaces between paragraphs at places where it would make sence to do it and where it didn't interupt the flow of the story The Flea bitten Wolf (talk) 03:03, August 7, 2014 (UTC)

Re:

You're wecome, dude! I just did my job there, but I'm glad to see a compliment! I don't really think the story is bad, I kinda enjoyed it. I would suggest you next time to put more paragraphs. You make them everytime a new event happens (i.e: Something happened and now I'm sad.

                             After thinking about this, I did something.)

Idk if that's a good example, but that's pretty much how it's done. Also, use Source Mode, it prevents weird spacing and formatting, and try to include a header next time you post a new message on someone's talk page about what you want to talk about.

Hope to see ya around making better stories!

If only I could I'd be running up that hill 23:17, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

Re: Your Thanks

It's nothing. I'm glad that I could be of service, and frankly it gives me something to do here asides from occasionally posting a story.

--Rhialto (talk) 17:55, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

Done

Your story is out of M4R if you want to put the necessary categories on it.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:16, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

RE:

My memory is wonky at times, but I think I recall something about a wolf/werewolf? (Although that may be your username throwing me off.) Sorry, wish I could remember more of the story. (Maybe one day send me a link to it or another story of yours?) As for why Jeff the Killer was deleted, it didn't meet quality standards and inspired a lot of knock-offs from people trying to imitate the story's success. We used to get one of those types of stories every day, since deleting it; we now get maybe one every week. Additionally it has cut back on the amount of people we get rp'ing as JtK. As for other popular stories like Eyeless Jack, the author of the story actually requested it to be taken down. Hope that answers your question.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:57, November 26, 2014 (UTC)

Re-uploaded story

Please don't re-upload your deleted story. It is against the rules. If you feel your story is well-written or meets the Quality Standards, make a case on deletion appeal or post it into our Writer's Workshop for comprehensive user review. If you re-upload a deleted pasta again, you will receive a 1-day suspension from editing.



EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:17, January 12, 2015 (UTC)

Story..

The actual reason I gave for both was for Cliches. "Ever get those feelings that you're... that you're being watched...", "Now you know my story and you will be next."

There was also formatting errors. I would also refrain from using ellipses as a means of 'dramatic pause' as their original intent was to signify a pause in dialogue or commission of words from a quote. Using it like this is odd.: "Ever get those feelings that you're... that you're being watched... being watched by something?" as the person is writing this out so it seems odd that they would use ellipses like that. ("Okay, pause here for dramatic effect!") Don't put spaces in front of your paragraphs as it creates that weird box effect. "cul de sac" should be "cul-de-sac"

Wording errors: "I walked up to the edge of the woods where it met guard rail and (went?) directly to trees." (words missing), "The report says neighbors smelt (smelled) something..." (smelt is a different word altogether.) "I noticed the caller after the second ring; It (it) was my boyfriend who's (whose) name...". Tense agreement issues: "It only took a minute and I was up the driveway. Weird, his car isn't here. (wasn't there)"

Plot issues: the protagonist makes some odd leaps during the story. "I shut my eyes against sheer cold of it and didn't open them for another minute until the wind slowed. I called out, "Who's here?"" (Why does she assume a gust of wind signifies a person's presence?) "My thoughts finally caught up with me and my heartbeat raced. What if that wasn't him on the phone? What if he was attacked by someone or something?" (Why did she assume that, the inhuman/disfigured thing gave no indication of mimicking voices. The story also needs more description. This is the monster's description: "Disfigured, inhuman, like no animal I've ever seen in the area." That is it, you need to paint more of a picture for the audience. How was it inhuman/disfigured? The story has quite a lot of things that need work like cliches, wording, formatting, and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:40, January 12, 2015 (UTC)

Re:

I corrected it. (A small oversight in updating the polls.) Good catch. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:16, March 29, 2015 (UTC)

Pack Leader Review

First of all, I have to clarify what I meant by 'wolf love story'. I didn't mean it was a story about wolves' romance. I have read many stories in the past few months that the sole focus of the story is a wolf/many wolves. That usually happens because the writer has a strange love/interest for wolves. I don't say it's bad, but when the whole point of the story is 'a wolf happened' then we have a problem.

I'm afraid that's the case with your story too. The only thing that happens is the character's interactions with the wolves. That isn't necessarily bad, but reading the story I got the feeling that those interactions were there simply because you like wolves. Again, this isn't bad, but it doesn't make for a creepy story. In the horror genre, you need something more. Your story is simply put, hollow.

Then there is the wolf leader guy. A hooded guy with red eyes and fangs. Characters such as him are very common in childish creepypasta fanfic sites and they are more goofy than creepy. If instead of him you have done something different -maybe a badass werewolf- this could have been massively better.

I understand that 'creepy' is a subjective term, what you might find creepy might bore me to death, but in my opinion this story is bland.

MrDupin (talk) 13:18, March 29, 2015 (UTC)

Story deletion

Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:20, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

Please Use Source Mode

The default setting for editing is "Visual Editor." There is really no point in using this setting, as it results in formatting issues.

Please change the setting to "Source Editor."

Click on the option panel below your profile picture in the top right area of the page.

Click "My Preferences," then click the "Editing" tab. Then change the "Preferred Editor" option panel to "Source Editor."

Also, as a side note, the marked for review category is for pastas that possibly do not meet the Quality Standards or need revisions. Looking for feedback on your pasta? Here: Board:Writer's Workshop.

USER~TALK~EDITSSignature 03:22, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

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