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Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Thread:682130#4|Something Familiar (Unreviewed) page.

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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

ClericofMadness (talk) 14:32, August 23, 2020 (UTC)

Hello Feline

First of all, thank you for taking the time to leave a lengthy, well-thought-out, and respectful critique of my draft.

Regarding your points:

The paragraphs were the easiest to fix.

Upon another read-through, I personally didn't find the number of dialogue tag modifiers to be excessive.

I also couldn't find any adverbs or use of the term 'was' that seemed inappropriate. As for filter words, I removed two instances of 'described' and reword those sentences to be more active, but I otherwise couldn't spot anything else out of place.

"Showing, not telling" and avoiding blatant infodumps has always been one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer, and I have no doubt this story suffers from that even if I don't know how to fix it.

I was wondering if you might be willing to do a line by line, at least for the most egregious instances, with suggested fixes?

Before you do though, I should warn you it might be a waste of your time, as I've been known to disregard criticism, offending those who had taken the time to offer it to me.

I can't promise I'll listen to your suggestions, but I would appreciate them regardless.

Once again, thank you very much for your feedback

The Vesper's Bell (talk) 21:37, August 23, 2020 (UTC)

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