Have you ever heard of the Many Worlds Theory? If you haven't, basically it means that for every decision mankind has ever had to make, a reality exists for every outcome. So, if you had to decide between Froot Loops and Frosted Mini Wheats, for example, you created two universes, one for each outcome.

Some theoretical physicists believe that the Many Worlds Theory holds weight, while others believe that it simply isn't the case. As it turns out, it's only partially right. Other universes do exist. The fallacy is in believing that only universes based on human decision are real. Universes exist based on many things.

All things, in fact.

That's right. For every decision, every thought, every belief that has ever existed, there is a universe that is the embodiment it. The same goes for things that don't exist and never have, but could. Basically, if it's possible, there's a universe for it.

So, why am I telling you about this? Well, it's because I want to help you, of course. I want to make sure that we are on the same page before I start in with the really important stuff.

You see, based on what I've said, there is an entire universe, functionally infinite in size, that is the embodiment of everything you could ever want. That's right. You wanted a bike for your birthday? The perfect bicycle is in that universe. So is the chocolate cake you wanted, even though your parents bought vanilla. Your soulmate exists in that universe, and they are hoping to meet you one day. Or, if that doesn't suit you, the universe will instead be populated with people that you find unbelievably attractive, and who are interested in having a good time with you.

These are only examples. A universe like this exists for every living thing that ever was and ever will be, and all of them are unique and filled to the brim with things that that creature wanted.

Of course, we never really interact with those other universes, do we? Actually, it happens more often than you think. The universes are fluid in nature, and they overlap with one another sometimes. In the case of one another, this means that multiple people can have a Want universe populated with the same thing. When this happens with our universe, the result is pretty predictable; you get something that you want.

These overlaps with our universe tend to be brief, though the overlap is stronger on one's birthday and on holidays like Christmas or Hanukkah; The reason for this should be obvious. Beyond that, though, these universes are generally locked away from us.

But every lock has a key.

That's right. You can unlock the inter-dimensional barrier between our universe and your Want universe. You can spend your entire life exploring an infinite reality filled with everything you have ever wanted, currently want, and could ever want. This could mean any number of things depending on what type of person you are, and what is worth wanting for you. Just to give an example, I've been in my Want universe for a while, and I've found all sorts of treasures and people. I wanted to let others know about these places, and there, in front of me, was a computer that was capable of saving this memoir somewhere that anyone could find it. All I had to do was want it, and there it was. Lucky you!

I really do mean lucky, though. You see, while simple enough in concept, the act of breaking through one of these barriers is FAR more difficult in practice. It was not easy getting here. I don't think I could make a return trip, even if I wanted to. Then again, maybe if I did want to, the universe would just let me go. I'll have to try that when I tire of this place, though I expect that that will never happen.

As for you, there is a very specific way to get to your Want universe, and there is a journey you must complete before entering. So, let's get right into it.

Firstly, you will want to prepare yourself, as the path ahead is treacherous. All you will need, as far as material things go, is a pencil, pen, or other writing utensil, though I believe that chalk will work best. Oh, you will also need a key. Any key will do, but just to be on the safe side, you may want to go out and steal one. Hey, I said this was going to be dangerous. No one said the dangers only started after attempting this rite.

Anyway, stealing a key is preferred because the more valuable the thing that the key unlocks, the better your trip will be. The reason for this will be apparent soon. Basically, think of the thing that you want the most that has a key. Then, go get that key, by any means necessary.

All set? Good. One more thing. I recommend that you start performing the rite on one of the days I previously mentioned: your birthday, or a holiday filled with gifts. Technically, any day will work, but these are your best bets.

Now that you are here, take a minute and ask yourself, 'Do I really want to go through with this? Am I truly prepared for what's ahead?' Asking this works for two purposes. The first is to ensure that you are absolutely ready; that you really want to attempt this, knowing that it's going to be dangerous, and that the consequences of failure could be dire. If you asked yourself these questions, and found that there was doubt, you should stop immediately, return the key you stole, and go back to your normal life. There is no room for error, and wussing out partway through will only end badly for you.

If, instead, you found that you did indeed want to do this, then immediately go to any nearby wall, take your chalk, and draw an arching doorway. The sooner you do this after affirming that your are ready, the better the results will be. The door doesn't have to be perfect or pretty. All it needs is the basic shape, as well as a knob and keyhole, drawn by you. You can probably guess what the next step is. Without hesitating, you must take the key and attempt to unlock the door. One of two things will happen.

If the key behaves normally, then the rite has failed. You will know if this is the case if the tip of the key stops at the wall, and scratches it up as you attempt to turn it. This can happen for a number of reasons, though most commonly it's because you didn't follow all of my recommendations. If you did not steal the key to the thing you wanted most, if you did not perform the rite on one of the recommended days, if you took too long after assuring yourself that you were ready, or if there was an amount of doubt in your mind large enough, there is a high likelihood that you failed. Don't beat yourself up about it. You can try again later, when you are properly prepared. Honestly, it's probably better that it's this way. You weren't ready for what comes next, and this way, you won't have to deal with the consequences of success. All it means is that, today, you didn't get what you wanted.

However, if the key does not behave normally, then the rite was successful. This will be evidenced by the key sinking into the wall with no resistance whatsoever, and the sound of clicking gears as you turn it. These gears will sound like what you most expect them to sound like. If you expected metal workings inside the door, they will tink and click and clank. If you expected stonework, you may hear a light scraping and dull grinding. Maybe, for some reason, you expected the door to work via pulley system, which a squeaking from within the door will confirm.

In any case, with the door unlocked, you have reached the point of no return. Unlocking the inter-dimensional barrier in this way is dangerous in and of itself, and it cannot be left like that. The results would be odd at best and catastrophically chaotic at worst. You cannot simply re-lock the door after coming this far. These barriers exist for a reason, and the powers that put them there don't open them lightly.

They have seen how much you desire. They took note of your preparations. How smart you were to choose a day where the universes overlapped so much. How wise you were to choose a key that reflected your greatest desire. How prudent, to ensure the overlap would be it's strongest by ensuring that your greatest want was your final thought before crossing over.

Oh yes, they have taken note of all of this. And as reward for this hard work, they have helped you in finding your way. Oh, you didn't do all of that, but the door still opened?


You're gonna wish you had. The beings in charge of the barriers are busy. They can't just lend their help to anyone that wants it. But they still took note of you. Of that, you can be sure.

Now that your journey has truly begun, I cannot say for sure what will happen to you. Even though I want to, my universe can't give me clairvoyance. It did, however, give me a list. This list contains every possible place that you may end up in while traveling to your Want universe. It's rather extensive, but I'll go over some of the highlights.

Firstly, you may wind up in someone else's Want universe. This could be good, or it could be very, very bad. What it will not be, however, is the place you set out to reach when you started this ritual. So, how do you know if you've wound up in a place like this. Well, depending on whose universe it is, it could be pretty easy. See something revolting? Not your Want universe.

It could be tricky though, if you end up in a universe that seems like it could be yours. You could be surrounded for miles with things that you've wanted your whole life, as well as things that entice you that you didn't know you wanted until you saw them. So, how can you know? Well, you've got two options.

The first option is to simply jump ship and hope that you were right. Basically, do the rite again in this place and go somewhere else. If this wasn't your Want universe, then you have no worries, since it's just another place that you'll have to pass through on your trip. However, you had better be damn sure that you are not in your Want universe before you do this. If you leave, and you were wrong, you won't be able to return. 'That might not be so bad,' you might say, 'depending on where I ended up next.' You could end up in a pretty good place; it would be someone else's Want universe, but it could be pretty good, if you're lucky.

Welllll, you may want to rethink that idea, because I still haven't mentioned your other option in this situation. Hopefully, this will help you realize the problems with option A.

If you don't try to leave right off the bat, your other option is to wander the universe you've found yourself in until you find something that you don't want. Again, depending on where you landed, this could days, months, years, decades, or even centuries if you can survive that long. I mean, there are a few people in the world that want to live longer, so it's totally feasible in a place like that.

The entire time you're looking, you could be surrounded by things that you've wanted your whole life, and things you never knew about, but are just really fucking cool and you want them too. Just remember, though, that this universe may not be meant for you. If, at any point, you decide that this universe is your Want universe, and you are wrong, you will be in for a rude awakening.

Your desires will corrupt this universe for you. All of the things that you wanted will crumble away to dust, and the infinite amount of things that are left will move in to fill the space again. From that point onward, you will be surrounded on all sides, for an infinite distance, by everything that the appropriate person wanted that you didn't. No doubt, this will include many things that simply don't interest you, but it will also certainly include things that you would never want. Some of these things may be dangerous. Some of them may be hostile.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, I only hope you have a way to end it all. Even a painful death is preferred. This shouldn't be a problem, if you make the decision to kill yourself early enough. No one ever really wants to die, so finding something to seal the deal should be pretty easy. Waiting too long can cause problems, however. If you try to hold out hope for too long, you will eventually succumb to the realization that this torturous place will never end. Once that happens, you will probably want to kill yourself. But once you want it, the universe will take away any possibility of it. Anything that you could possibly use to kill yourself would crumble to dust long before you got your hands on it. And all that would be left is the same endless hellscape, except now, there really is no escape.

Oh, and it should probably be obvious, but if you are mistaken in leaving your Want universe, ending up in anyone else's will result like this. So use caution.

Another possibility is that you will end up in a universe of Want. This is not the same as your Want universe. The difference in the name may be small, but the practical difference is massive. A universe of Want is a place that is designed to leave you wanting more. You can end up in anyone's universe of Want, and as you can imagine, they vary widely from person to person.

For an example, you may find yourself in a desolate desert, lacking any food, water, or reprieve from the blistering heat. You may instead find yourself in an alleyway filled with garbage bags, many of them ripped open, exposing the contents to the down-pouring rain and exuding a horrible stench that you cannot escape. If you're lucky, you won't wind up in your universe of Want. If you do, there is likely no escape. An unfortunate circumstance to be sure, but the odds are in your favor.

If you should find yourself in a place like this, you should move quickly. You must find something in this universe that you want. This can be easy, or it can be very difficult. If you are in your personal universe of Want, it will be impossible. The object you seek can be anything. Food, a Ferris wheel, a game system; it really doesn't matter. It may not even be an object; it could be generosity from a stranger, or a pat on the back from someone you barely know. But you are on a time limit here.

The universe of Want is designed to make you weaker, to siphon away your strength and resolve and leave you wanting. You must find whatever it is you are seeking before this happens. Otherwise, you will collapse into a conscious, seeing, feeling pile of meat. You won't be able to move, as the universe has taken your strength. You will want to, but that will only make it more impossible.

If it's any consolation, a pile of meat may be something the next person wants. At least you'll be helpful to someone else.

If you should happen to be successful, however, you will find that the object you seek is concealing a doorknob. If you happen to find an intangible thing that you wanted, something given by another person, that person will kindly help you to the doorway that will help you along on your journey.

It is also possible that you will find yourself in a Greed universe instead. This is especially likely if you did not follow the instructions properly. The beings that govern the inter-dimensional barriers will be very angry that you wasted their time, and this is one of the places they may send you to teach you a lesson. Remember, I warned you that preparation is important.

In a Greed universe, you will be surrounded by a sea of people. Old people, young people, tall people, short people, people with hair, people without hair, people whose skin is covered in tattoos, people whose skin is smooth and unmarred; these and an infinite number of others will gather around you. Their chattering will be deafening, as all of them are trying to talk to you. Each of them wants something from you. Not all of them will be kind in asking for it, but you are permitted to say no. You can refuse to give anyone anything that you have, if you choose.

So, why would you bother? Well, they know how you can leave this universe. You see, in every Greed universe, there is a single person who wants absolutely nothing from you. This is the person you need to find, and the other inhabitants here know the way. However, they will not tell you anything, unless you give them something they want. Even then, not all of them are honest, and looks can be deceiving. That kind-looking elderly woman is just as likely to lead you astray as the heavily tattooed biker is to help you.

These people are very greedy, and they all want something. It may be something that you have, or something you don't, in which case that particular person cannot help you. They may want something material or something less tangible, and you may not always be able to give it to them. More than one person may want the same thing from you, meaning you have to guess which one, if any, will lead you in the correct direction.

You could be here for a very long time, depending on who is around, and how truthful they are. Still, it is possible that you will find the person you are looking for. This person will be easy to identify. They could be male or female, and they can be of any race. However, they will be seated, not standing among the crowd like all the others. This person will be silent, a welcome change from the constant noise that led you there. They will seem in a state of utter calm and contentedness.

Approach this person. They will open their eyes and look up at you. A light smile will grace their face. They will invite you to sit with them. Accept this invitation, no matter how much you have given, no matter how irritated you have become by the voices all around you. Be polite; this person can lead you toward your Want universe. They will ask you, "What do you want the most?" Tell them that you wish to go to your Want universe. They will then ask, "What more will you give up to get there?"

You may choose to offer this person anything you choose. The more precious the thing you offer, the better the results will be. No matter what it is, the person will humbly accept, setting it aside if it is an object, or closing a nearby container if it is something intangible. They will then stand up and lead you into a nearby building. They, too have drawn a door, and they are willing to let you use it. Retrieving an insignificant-looking key from their pocket, they will open the door for you, and you will be on your way.

Now, it would be a severe error if I didn't tell you some of the things that you should never, under any circumstances, give away. For the most part, physical things are fine. There are two exceptions, however: your key and your writing utensil. If you give these things away, you may find yourself in a situation where you cannot escape. You obviously don't want to be trapped in the wrong universe, right? Safeguard these objects, no matter how much longer the journey takes.

Additionally, there are some intangible things that you should never give up. Your consciousness, your awareness, your strength, your will, and your desire all fall under this category. Anything similar should also be treated as such. Additionally, you should not give away your empathy or your generosity, as these are necessary for dealing with the person you are seeking in this universe. Give those up, and you will be just as trapped as if you'd given away your key.

There are several other types of universes that you may find yourself in as you progress toward your ultimate goal. Perhaps a universe where you suddenly desire everything you never wanted before. You could be forced to sit in the dimensional equivalent of a waiting room, forced to be patient and wait for what you want. There may be a place where everyone starts giving you things, and you have to find a way to hold all of them until you can escape. Of course, there is always a way out, if you're careful. Persistence is your greatest ally.

So, what else do you need to know? I've warned you of the dangers involved, told you about how to get to your Want universe, and helped you out of some dangerous spots. What's left? Well, there is one itty bitty detail I haven't covered yet. Namely, the beings that govern the barriers, and what they can do.

Call them whatever you want. Gods, aliens, overlords, cosmic horrors; none of it matters. They are none of these things, and yet all of them. They were born from the convergence of many, many universes, each populated by, and representing, one of the aforementioned types of creatures. They have no real name or title, but rest assured that they are immensely powerful.

So, how do they come into play? Well, depending on how much preparation you did, and how well you handle the obstacles placed before you, they may be inclined to assist you. If they find you worthy enough, they may move some universes out of your path, or maybe plant small hints in the universes you come across. For example, if you end up in someone else's Want universe, they may move an object that you do not want a bit closer to you, helping you realize where you are and move on faster. If you end up in a universe of Want, they may take pity on you, and provide the help you seek. If you find yourself in a Greed universe, you may notice small, innocuous arrow all throughout the space, helping to direct you.

However, the opposite can also happen. Their time is precious, and they have a duty to uphold. If you are sloppy in your performance of the rite, they may go out of their way to make things difficult for you. Usually, this involves redirecting you to some less savory universes, but that is not the limit of their ability to meddle. They can, and likely will, add extra challenges for you. This can include, but is certainly not limited to, moving objects away from you, adding extra people to misdirect you, or simply draining away your will to continue. Because of this, I strongly suggest staying on their good side.

If you can make your way through everything listed above, then congratulations! You very likely have found your Want dimension. From this point forward, everything you could ever want is now at your fingertips. Take a moment and reflect on what brought you here. There is a reason for going through all of this, but maybe that isn't all that apparent to you. That's okay. You've made it. And that's all you really wanted, right?

Written by TheWizardOfTheWoods
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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