The knight kicked an empty pint of mead across the ground. Night had fallen over the camp.
“This is horse shit!” the knight growled.
“I didn’t think the mead was that bad,” a second knight said.
“No, not the mead!” the first knight retorted. “Gods, Kristoff, don’t you remember why everyone’s getting drunk tonight?!”
“To be honest, Faust, I was trying to forget,” Kristoff replied with a sigh. He sat back on a bench and crossed his arms behind his head.
Faust sat down next to Kristoff with his head in his hands.
“Hey, don’t be so glum, friend,” Kristoff said. He put an arm around Faust’s shoulders and pulled him closer to him.
“Why?” Faust asked quietly. “What reason do we have to be happy?”
“Maybe we’ll die instantly tomorrow,” Kristoff offered with a weak smile.
Faust looked at Kristoff for a beat. Faust got up and put his hands on his head.
“Gods!” Faust cursed, pacing in circles. “We’re real deep in shit, aren’t we?”
“Making an ass of yourselves won’t help anything,” a third knight said, walking up to them.
“I can’t help it!” Faust retorted as Kristoff stood up. “Tomorrow, they’re going to make us fight the Dark Army. The Dark Army! Gods, Mildred, do you even know how many guys they’ve got in the Dark Army?!”
“Our scouts guessed there were a couple thousand,” Kristoff said.
Faust shook his head. “Exactly. Mildred, we’re outnumbered ten to one. What can we hope for? A miracle?”
Mildred raised an eyebrow at Faust. “Well, shutting out the rest of us won’t help. Neither will cursing or getting drunk. We’ve only got one shot at defeating the Dark Army, boys.”
“And what’s that?!” Faust demanded. Kristoff raised his eyebrows.
Mildred gave them a sly look.
“Follow me,” she replied, turning around and walking away.
Faust and Kristoff exchanged a look. They both followed Mildred to wherever she was headed.
...
“Here it is, boys,” Mildred said, holding up an ornate wine bottle to them. They were all in Mildred’s tent.
“What’s that?” Faust asked, frowning. “Wine?”
Mildred shook her head and smiled at them. “This is way stronger than wine. It’s raw power, my friends. It’s our key to defeating the Dark Army once and for all.”
“I don’t see how drinking from a fancy bottle of wine will help us,” Kristoff griped.
“Drink!” Mildred demanded. “That’s an order!”
Faust reluctantly reached out and took a sip of the wine. He handed it to Kristoff. After a moment’s hesitation, Kristoff took a stiff drink. He sighed and handed it back to Mildred.
“Now what?” Kristoff asked.
Mildred smiled at Kristoff.
“Wait and see,” she replied.
A change came over Faust and Kristoff rapidly. Their skin turned pale. Their eyes turned yellow. Their teeth changed into fangs. Their fingernails suddenly became claws. The two knights howled as their bodies contorted with agony. Mildred just smiled at them with a manic glint in her eyes.
“I knew it would work,” Mildred whispered.
“What are you talking about?!” Faust demanded. He winced- the candlelight suddenly seemed too bright for him.
“What have you done to us?!” Kristoff demanded, pointing a claw at Mildred.
Mildred gave her a derisive look. She lifted the bottle and took a drink for herself. A few seconds later, she, too, had become a monster like them.
“Well?” Mildred asked. “How do you boys feel?”
“I feel…” Faust started.
“Hungry,” Kristoff finished for him.
Mildred smiled at them.
“Then let’s eat,” she said, jerking her thumb out of the tent at the other knights. There was a demonic glint in her eyes. Looking eager, Faust and Kristoff walked outside with her.
...
The blood of the entire legion of knights was more than enough to satiate the three vampires. The next night, they laid waste to the entire Dark Army one by one, cutting the enemy down with their swords and feasting on their vital fluids.
At first, the kingdom feared its three new heroes. But slowly, it came to accept them as its saviors. The only other option was to condemn them, and who would want three bloodthirsty vampires as their enemy?
Nobody thought they were making a mistake by trusting the creatures. Not until the vampires turned on their former kingdom. But that grim story is for another day.